alahai hexic

LETS TALK NUMBERS

2011-11-29T16:53:00.001-06:00

2 1/2... number of years since my last post. n the age of kid no. 2. she's a talker n very fiesty. don't mess with this kicking, hitting, spitting n biting little beast. lots of time outs. degil, takes after her ayah : D... ibu loves you dina

4... age of this laptop, in regular years... that makes her around 80... she's senile n very moody. maybe it's time to change, where can i get a new but free one?? : D... also the age of kid no.1... 4 that is not 80 tho kid no.1 is senile at times n oh sooo moody : D ibu loves u nura

1... number of "wow" by husband when seeing i'm writing a blog entry

10... number of years in marriage, chot n i : )... i can't think of a romantic meaning gift. i kept thinking just get him a big screen tv. any new, big screen tv i can get for free?? : D

Dina is 1 month today

2009-06-07T20:47:00.002-05:00

1 month.

i don't think i can do this... taking care of an infant. this is it for me. the stress is too much, i worry about everything. i feel bad having to choose which crying kid i have to attend to first.

anyways, dina is currently experiencing a bad diaper episode. started as a diaper rash, progressed to red bumps n then broke. her skin is raw. at one point she cried so much she lost her voice. vicious cycle. she leaks poop... i change her, she cries n squeeze n poop a little more. i change her... she cries... squirt a little poop... i change her...

and why does desitin or butt paste is sticking to everywhere else but the area i want it to stick to. now, she's on a perscription cream for burn victim. seems to work (please work!!) but today just noticed another area getting red.

at times i feel i can't do it, i can't handle seeing her butt like that. but what choice do i have...

that's it... at 1 month... i am stressing over dina's butt.

May 2009... continue

2009-06-01T11:04:00.004-05:00

May 2009

2009-05-28T19:12:00.007-05:00

Welcome to the world Dina

2009-05-07T21:06:00.008-05:00

Here she is, my second child : )... i'm still adjusting to the fact that i have 2 children n same with chot. we did have 9 months to prepare ourselves but the actual "kemunculan" of dina will take a few days to digest (just like it took us couple of days to digest news of being pregnant for the 2nd time : D ). PLUS, she was delivered fast... n i mean fast!!!...

so aside from the prelabor signs, serious contractions started around 1 am. by 4 am i took a shower n got ready for the hospital. maybe i waited too long coz by that time, contractions was like really2 close, i would even say less than 5 min apart (but i might be wrong considering my impared judgement) called them to let them know i was on my way n that was a miss communication. i said contractions stared at 1, they heard contractions just started 1 hour ago. so... they instructed i take some tylenol (that's like panadol) lie down n wait another hour.

15 min into lying down i was screaming with pain n crying. no way were we waiting... off we went to the hospital. luckily, it was 5 min away : )... if i waited and /or the drive was longer... probably delivered in the van!!!

was already 8cm n with each contractions i was getting closer (or rather further) from an epidural. or probably, epidural was already out of the question. so when they told me so, I FREAK OUT!!!... pain was unbelievable. remembered telling myself "wait!!! wait!!! i can't do this" until i got some sense n actually did what the nurse n doctor was telling me.

i kid u not, i actually felt a small portion of the water sack came out n pop... i swear i could hear the pop, like the pop of a balloon (i'm sure i was the only one hahaha)... with 3 or 4 push, dina was out. i cannot describe the relieve of not having any more horrid contractions. actually felt like a hero, which was short lived when doc started to stitch me up.

nura seemed happy enough saying "baby" non stop. kiss baby, hug baby, baby sleep, baby outside (i guess she wants to take baby home), baby sleep... shhhhh : ) hahaha, very cute.

(darn it... apasal ler hilang paragraph spacing...)

presidential election

2008-11-03T15:58:00.002-06:00

tomorrow is the day. i was getting sick of all the coverage since the race started sooooooo long ago, can't believe it's actually here.

n now suddenly my hands are cold n i'm nervous thinking of the outcome. they made a mistake of electing bush for a second term, i hope they don't make another mistake by electing mccain.

i wish i can vote coz our lives are affected too.

12 weeks check up n more

2008-10-29T15:37:00.010-05:00

just came back from first ever check up. heard the baby's heartbeat, comfirming comfirming there is indeed a little one inside. had a pap smear, n a culture for testing since i still have my abnormal cells in my servics but apart from that everything looks normal.

the due date is May 12.

today while chot kept nura company as i was being prodded he reported that nura was saying "walk... walk... walk" as she made her rounds in the building. probably she picked it up from me telling her to walk (instead of hugging my legs n asking to be picked up).

i have videos of nura limited but expanding vocabulary.

first two is of her making the biting into an apple crunch "kkrrrruuunncchh"...

no. 3 is self explanatory...

n the last is of her saying n demonstration "it's stuck"...

the case of the pain in the toot floors

2008-10-29T11:16:00.007-05:00

we started EARLY MAY 2008. ripping the flooring in the computer room. put in underlayment. felt good... on to the living room...

here's where we made our mistake. u should have ripped out everything, inspect the condition of the sub floors BEFORE buying our laminate. on the day this particular pic was taken, our new flooring came (ohhh... i dunno... all the way from canada but made in malaysia). we noticed a hump n as we proceed with tearing the old flooring... the significant slooping of about 2 inches from where i stood taking the pic to the fireplace wall.

chot's attempt to repair the hump.

this is in August, in an attempt to fix the slope, we (well by this point, i have given up, so...) chot piled layers of wood. but it seemed like the floor is moving each time. he put on inches on one side, came back the next day n found out it was higher. so off he went, rising up another section to match up the previous mistake... for months n months he kept at it. layers n layers of wood.

we (yes, we... i had to help when he pored the self leveling cement)... problem is it doesn't really self level itself despite us making it runnier than recommended. plus, for such a large problem to fix... this stuff pored in batches just doesn't cut it... what would cut it is a cement truck.

a couple of weeks after this pic was taken, chot came to the end of his "by hook or by crook, i'll lay the laminate down" insistent/ persistent. came to my "let's cut our loses n put in carpet" (dark) side.

also at this point, we were asking each other, how much weight can the sub floor hold. don't want to continue pouring cement n then having the whole floor fall into the basement!!!...

this was taken Oct. 26 2008, the night before the carpet guys were to come. chot took the day off to finish undoing all the layers of wood, all the layers of cement, grind each n every stapler head n put in new underlayment. he did it all himself...

the next morning, he was still cutting bits n pieces of underlayment in his handsome work clothes.

we all suffered i tell u!!!... he suffered from being tired with work, trying to finish his old pile before moving to the new position. suffered from fulfilling what is required of a jump to a new company. then came the orientation he was made to go to on top of the old pile of work he still had to finish... on top of the new pile of work he was given... (he is working in the same office, before he was a contract worker, now he's ammm... not. so his old boss can still find him n ask about that old pile of work).

came home n had to face the floors!!!... nuff said.

i suffered coz he wasn't around to take over nura duty. all the time i was experiencing 1st trimester symptoms... n an exhausted mother of a 1 year old.

nura suffered... from being cooped up in either her room, or my room or the kicthen. then it got cold outside... more trapped. she got sick (ok... all suffer when she's sick) with a runny nose. then she got a flu shot, fever from teething. not sleeping through the night, cranky n fussy. still teething at this point...

but alas, here we are 5 months later. we have our living room back. pic is of nura trying out the new carpet. she's unsure of all the space but happy regardless.

bits n pieces

2008-10-22T22:11:00.006-05:00

- this first trimester is harder than nura's time. i was at the point of nauseousness that made me picked up the phone to my OB-GYN asking for medication. it's getting better now (just passed the 11 week mark) n when i get queezy, it's mostly from gas (from not getting food in when i need to) n i take gas pills for that.

- am suffering from a bad cold. this is day 4. i thought there's nothing i can take for it so i was in agony. chot said to call the clinic just to make sure i was sure. n waddayaknow... i was wrong, I CAN TAKE SUDAFED n ROBUTUSIN DM. n throat lozenges is ok. writing this down so next time (i hope there's no more next time) i'll have the info handy.

- weight. i was at 135lbs when we conceived, i know coz i went on the scale a few times a day coz was trying to get back to original weight. now at 11 weeks, i'm 133lbs. not bad... they say with 2nd pregnancy, woman don't gain as much coz running n managing a kid will keep weight off... i sure hope it's true for me... i gained 42 lbs with nura, i was huge!!!...

- chot started as a JD employee monday. before we was a contract worker, working at JD. is it a step up??... well, not really just that this is more secure i guess. he'll be going somewhere career wise not like before, stuck in one place, no developement, no striving... he always describe his position before as "pencacai tua angkat najis"... i'll ask soon what he's describing his new position : )...

- he's been awfully busy with work n the transition n repairing this house. the flooring project went kaput. it's just impossible trying to level n uneven floor. i have given up a long time ago but he kept at it, wanting to put in the laminate flooring down by hook or by crook.

so now, the plan is for him to undo all the work he's been doing... so we can have carpet people install CARPET. the unused flooring will go to the basement for when we go get around to our angan2 to have it finished : )...

- nura. she's been clingy n whiny. refusing to nap n wanting to sleep later at night. i think the clingy n whiny is from not getting enough sleep (or teething)... but then i put her for her nap n i'll hear her yapping for 2 hours...

this not sleeping when one should is a classic trait of moi. so i guess serves me right. : ) reminds me of when we kids misbehaved, my mom would say to just wait, when we'll have our own kids, they'll be as bad as us.

she does say "bu" for me. n today, i was asking her to say "nenek"... n just like that, she said it. so i scrambled for a video footage. she's sure gonna make her "nenek" melt. i need to remember to put up pics of her grandparents n keep grilling her so she'll know to put a face to a word.

- says "moo" for cow. n show me her teeth when i say "gigi"...

- has choosen to stop breatfeeding on her won. the lactation consultant did say that pregnancy is a natural way to ween baby off the breast. when the milk gets harder to extract n the taste changed, baby will be uninterested. nura acts like she doesn't understands when i ask her if she wants "nenen". n when i do get her attention, she shakes her head. stops breasfeeding at 14 1/2 months when i'm 11 weeks pregnant.

gosh, i'm getting drowsy. so uploading pics n video.

showing me her "gigi"

she wants to do this at least once a day. push my shirt up n lay on my tummy.

saying "nenek"

(the spacing of a post will just go crazy when i upload pics after composing... which just drives me crazy!!!)

i shouldn't...

2008-10-15T23:07:00.003-05:00

what i should be is sleeping... but logged in to leave comments for a friend n might as well update my own.

concentrating on the current.

nura (of course, mesti mula dgn nura) is 14 months old. has 2 teeth n getting skinnier. calls me "buuuuuuu" but she also says the same for books. sometimes she calls me ayah too. things she's saying right now, what i can remember...

-wass dat (what's that)

-dis (this)

-ish stuck (its stuck)

-duc (duck)

some are associated with movements or sounds

-penguin (she'll move from side to side, for waddling)

-apple (makes "kruppp" sound, for the sound biting on an apple)

-tiger (she'll "roar")

-tummy (she'll pat her tummy, sometimes she'll pat too high... at her chest) so far, for other parts of her body, she'll show me her hair.

-hat (pats her head)

she's down to 1 to 2 breatfeeding sessions. once in a blue moon, doesn't take any.

ALSO, i wanted to wait 2 more weeks but i might as well make the official announcement. chot n i are PREGNANT. am at 10 weeks.

was an accident n gave us quite a shock. ready or not... readykan jek lah. the fact has sunken in quite well, n infact, with running around n attending after nura, am too tired to remember that i'm pregnant.

also want to write, nura lately is very lovey dovey, lay on my chest n my tummy. when i pull my shirt up to give her milk, most often than not, she just wants my tummy to be exposed. refuse milk but gets angry when i cover tummy up. n today, is putting her feet on my tummy... hmmm... so do kids nura's age know when they have a little sibling swimming around in mummy's belly??... i do wonder coz nura is acting out of the ordinary.

my mom mailed this for nura's birthday. it's just hilarious!!!... she looks so alim... hehehe, AMEEN. she's screaming n protest, n if u squint real hard, u can see her two front teeth.

videos 2... Nura anak ayah

2008-08-27T11:53:00.004-05:00

she just refuses to learn to say "ibu"... when i'm needed she just calls by grunting "ermhh... eerrmmhh!!!"...

also, kutnya, the fact that i'm always around makes it unnessesary to learn to say "ibu". like in her head she's saying "this lady is always here, why should i bother with a name for her" kindda thing.

now, when it comes to saying "ayah"... it's totally the opposite. she'll peep through doorways calling "ayah... ayah..." thinking chot is in the other room. n when chot gets home, i'll say "ayah, nura... ayah dah balik..." n she'll look around for her dad.

Nura is her father's daughter... here's the proof...

videos

2008-08-25T10:09:00.004-05:00

EEEIIIIKKKK...

2008-08-21T14:28:00.003-05:00

what a shocker!!!... this girl NEVER... i repeat... NEVER... took off her diaper before. i walked into her room after she woke up from her first nap, turned on the lights and my mouth just about dropped on the floor. she sat up n i saw her "pepet"... n before my mind could process this scene, i saw her diaper in her crib n POOP next to it.

POOP!!!!!!... oh my god!!!... there was poop on her fingers... n poop in her hair. she was also sucking her two favorite fingers. which made me pretty sure she had a taste of her no. 2. if all her fingers had poop crumbs, what are the chances those two fingers in her mouth didn't have some on them too... plus, she put everything in her mouth anyways.

i was blabbing to her how she can't take off her diaper again, bla... bla... bla... especially... especially when she just pooped, no!!!... no!!!... no!!!... dirty!!!... dirty!!! i told her. she only looked at me with her uninterested face. and after much wiggling n trying to escape from her bathtub (the kitchen sink), all wrapped up in her towel, was i able to let out the biggest laugh : D... HAHAHA... i went. followed by her hehehehe...

my my, what a day.

August 9th n 10th, Birthday Celebration in Peoria

2008-08-21T14:07:00.003-05:00

i blame Facebook for the lack of updates on this blog : )... i only recently uploaded pics of nura's birthday celebration in Peoria, forgetting that not all friends n family n blog visitors are connected in FB... yup, that's u audra : )...

anyways, here's the story (what i can still recall). we were suppose to go to the zoo saturday morning but it rained, so was pushed back to sunday morning. only did the picnic as planned. i think all had fun.

peoria zoo is not the greatest, still... we managed to spend a couple of hours there. a few highlights like the sea lions n the friendly goat. i guess the main attraction at the zoo are the tigers since the location was way at the back, wanting visitors to check out other (lame, n semi-lame) animals before seeing the great beasts. but when we got to them, they were napping, just like nura who went to the zoo right on her nap time, n maybe, was still tired from the picnic the day before, fell asleep without any fuss.

next year, nura n summer will have a friend to join in their birthday celebration. Mus n Teng welcomed their second child, Aleena on August 5th 2008. YUP, Aleena n Nura have the same birthdate... how cool is that : )... just like Nura's ibu n mak ngah (my sister).

pics are here http://kemboja76.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album48

Nura is 1 Year Old

2008-08-05T20:48:00.006-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURA!!!

i'm gonna say, i can't believe she's one. actually, sometimes, i still can't believe she's mine. got a little chocked up thinking about it these past few days. all babies are miracles, she maybe a bit more with the roller coaster we went through. n now she's one??... nevertheless, it's amazingly sweet to get to this day.

while chot was still at work, i got inspired to dress her up in her b'day gift from auntie ellie. then, she opened a present from auntie emmy (i saved the biggest box for today... the other two dah selamat di enjoyed)... also got a doll from auntie bai, she kisses the thing everytime she see's it... thanks u guys!!!

after waking up from her nap, we got her ready for a 3 person birthday party : )... got her cup cakes with red icing. a poor choice of color with maximum effect. it was a mess but worth all the cleaning up afterwards.

gave her her bath, and all went out for dinner n later, a haircut for ibu.

what has she been up to?

2008-08-04T10:11:00.004-05:00

little girl has been active, waking n falling well, always on the go.

n not being well, vomitted buckets n scared the shit out of her parents. diarrhea n teething (we think but still no teeth, being a cranky n clingy butt).

we went to Omaha 2 weekends ago. had a good time. unfortunately, forgot to bring our camera. But saved by ellie's ailing olympus : )... pics are here http://elliesookram.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album50. thanks auntie ellie, uncle mahesh n jeffrey!!!...

some pics of nura behaving n misbehaving at home...

writing on her mouth

first HUGEST bump aka benjol on her forehead... took a good 3 weeks to completely dissapear.

waking up from her many naps. that's ballerina, her sleeping buddy. ballerina has been hanging around for the longest time, but nura only took a liking to her since 2 months ago. i think it's cute... chot is accepting the attachment to pink.

sharing a popsicle with chot n demanding more.

this was taken a few days back. she was terrorizing the sage bush.

wearing a dress her tok mama (chot's mom) made.

walking in shoes is not easy.

has been refusing to take her 2nd nap 2 days in a row. prefering instead to run around the house 3/4 naked : )...

everything is a toy...

Pictures

2008-07-03T06:15:00.003-05:00

News Flash

2008-06-10T19:32:00.008-05:00

- Downtown Waterloo is flooded. I watched in disbelief : (... many towns in Iowa are also facing the same situation.

- Nura took her first baby steps today. I watched in disbelief : )... i called chot right away to share the good news (good news ka??... ok la good : D )...

- she learned a new trick. when i say "kiss kiss, muah muah" she came close n lean over for me to give her a kiss. this evening, we both gave her the cue n she gave us her forehead to kiss. we melted : )... chot asked her "ok nura, what new toy u want?"

also, news that's not so new...

- On Saturday, water came into our basement for the 3rd n 4th time. once in the morning n once more that evening.

we have so much water... we should send some to California.

- nura is climbing.

10 months

2008-06-04T10:19:00.014-05:00

and tomorrow, nura is turning 10 months old. so that leaves me 2 months to shape up. it's pilates EVERYDAY or so help me god i'd just die showing up at nura's birthday party looking like a whale.

nura is bigger n taller (although only 25 inches, she's grown so much in my eyes). she is losing her chubby cheeks, face is squarer n we can see more of her neck. is standing unassisted in about 5 seconds intervals, macam teror ajek lepas2 tangan mula2 tu. but now doing it like it's nothing... still falling on her butt of course. trying to climb... she'll stand in front of an obstruction n lifts one knee... "no nura, u can't climb onto that box. it's as tall as u, silly girl"... n then she'll turn n gives me one of her toothless grin.

oh ya, still no teeth...

she is eating more too... recently, i had to include a light snack of fruits n/or dry cereal coz when she wakes up from her 2nd nap, she'd be bulldozing my chest even after i gave her milk. i can't keep up with her growling tummy...

also, i've started giving her meat for dinner. this week it's beef which i cook with rice n malay spices n garlic n ginger. she's soooo done with chicken. she's been eating yogurt for breakfast for the past 2 months n getting tired of it. i need to make breakfast interesting... the doctor did suggest cottage cheese, i need to remember to buy some.

so, that's 3 meals + 1 snack + water that i make her drink + water she accidentally swallow while playing with her cup + 5 milk sessions.

++++++

onto other news...

chot n i are in the middle of changing flooring in this old stinkin house. i can't remember when we started ripping out the vinyl n underlayment in the office. anyways, while working on ripping out the carpet n deteriorating padding (no wonder we always get sinus allergy. it's all this padding dust!!!... and gasp!!!... is that mold??... i hate this house) n underlayment, we found a sloping sub floor (that's the main/base floor... the one that keep u from falling into the basement).

the sloping sub floor is adding a good month (maybe more) onto these weekend warriors' schedule. we talked about some possible solutions, searched on the internet, tried at shimming the planks to make the sloping gradual but that is too much work. we're gonna try doubling up the underlayment (that's the plywood) n go from there.

what are we putting in?? laminate wood flooring. ordered it online, quite cheap for the 10mm thickness. came all the way in a big truck from Canada. BUT it's made in MALAYSIA... i wonder if i have wood parts from the illegal logging trade. they steal trees n gov people n news people only realized it after everything is completely gone. for goodness sake, they're stealing trees, takkan tak nampak kut!!!

some fat gov officials should get their asses whip... bad bad people for letting this happen. chot says they may be bribed to look the other way. that's very possible... ok, digressing...

so, wish us luck on the flooring project. we might get close to killing each other but we'll get it done eventually : )...

and previous entry. when my cousin post an old pic of us on FB, i really2 felt i was looking at nura. and then i put that pic n nura's pic n a grown up pic of chot on that look-alike meter, it says nura look like more like chot by 4%. waahhhh???... darn it!!!

also, that one huge clump of sentences up there. it should be 3 paragraphs. blogspot won't let me pull them apart. i bet this two last paragraph are merged also... if there's none... eerrr... nevermind.

what do u think?

2008-05-21T21:09:00.001-05:00

Nura is 9 months

2008-05-07T13:39:00.008-05:00

she turned 9 months old 2 days ago.

is more mobile. crawling and pulling herself up like a pro... and falling like one too : D... she's into climbing now, when i feed her, her mouth is still attach but her body wants to go elsewhere. she'll climb on me, over me. also, likes to pat my jello tummy n lick n give me raspberries. i would shrill and she'll look up and give me a toothless grin.

i asked chot to exposed his tummy to nura but she wasn't even slightly interested. maybe she feels that bond with my tummy : )... must be... hehehe.

on accidents. a day before she turned 9, she got her first major bruise on her forehead. because she was in chot's care, i was a bit crossed. so i took her into her room and not 5 minutes later, elbowed her head... what fine rescuing : D...

and what's worse, that evening, while i was picking out something for her to wear, she flip herself off the footboard. one second she was sitting pretty on the bed and the next second, lying on her back on the floor. oh boy, my heart stopped and i felt soooo bad.

i knew falling off the bed is somewhat of a right of passage, a pre-requisite into childhood... so she has that under her belt. she's fine alhamdulillah. her room is carpeted.

as for her first cold. it dragged onto day 16. so i took her to the clinic. doctor think it might be from an allergy... because there was atopic dermatitis around her lips, it might indicate an allergic reaction. she is taking antibiotics. seems to work... her runny nose is not as runny. she's cranky though today... i wonder if it's from eating spinach...

see all this while the only vegetable she gets is sweet potato and squash. she gets symptoms of food intolerence from eating sweet peas. so i figured i shouldn't give her peas too. that leaves green beans... absolutely refuses to eat that. so doctor suggest spinach. geee... i sure hope it's not causing the crankiness.

anyways, chot is also sick. he was well enough for a soccer game but unfortunately fell ill again afterwards. i did feel a bit off but i refuse to get sick... i just can't... it's hard on everyone.

++++

MAY 11 IS MOTHER"S DAY...

my first one. so i was thinking, we'll commemorate it (and father's day) in a special way. make it extra special since it's the first. and asked chot to surprise me.... hahaha...

it's hard b/c i don't really have stuff i want. i don't casually say out loud "i want this, i want that". even when i do what something, i keep it inside n after awhile, it stop being a "want"... n more into a "i don't really need it".

a complete opposite to him. i have no problem getting him something, no problem at all. from a gps, to tools to more tools, to gadgets... he lets me know n i ignore him.

anyways, he began asking "so, do u know what u want yet??"... n after a good week of racking my brain (he basically gave up on the surprising me bit), threatened me with a GPS gift. so, i asked him for a handbag... hey, i always need another handbag : D...

he is getting tools... 2 sets he tells me... we'll see : )...

aaammmm...

2008-04-28T19:25:00.004-05:00

chot is out playing soccer n nura is asleep. i'm praying she sleeps through the night but realistically i so feel it's another sleepless night for her n me. she's starting to cough, deep rattling painful sounding cough... poor baby. in an attempt to give her a better night's sleep, i've called the clinic and asked if i can "drug" her with benadryl. they don't suggest it but said 1/2 a teaspoon is ok... maybe it'll work to clear her runny nose n she won't be awaken by mucous plugged nostrils.

on my end, i'm turning into a bit of a zombie. when i have time to nap/ sleep... i can't doze off... oh well...

the basement. so far, we're watching the weather closely. they say no more rain. and by mid week, the water situation will ease up. so much water from the melting snow n downpour raised the watertable n water backed up into buildings da... da... da...

so, the logical thing to do is to install a sump pump... and to do that, we need to tear down the basement bathroom. and i'm kindda happy that it's happening. that bathroom is a bit creepy for me n now we're getting all new stuff. new stuff cost money but pejam mata jek lah...

hmmmm... with the weather getting better, my mind is racing, thinking of home improvements i am going to do. i'm ready to go!!!!... slap on a lot of paint, tear out old flooring, put in new one hahaha... ehm ehm... hope my enthusiasm lasts...

and now, pictures : )...

sabau jek lah

2008-04-25T11:44:00.002-05:00

for non malay readers (do i have any??)... the title means "give me patience"... or something like that : )... coz i sure need it...

our basement is flooded once again. i went down around 7 am after hearing suspicious noises. chot was already down there, trying to prevent water from spilling into the dry part of le basement. he was half way getting ready for work, in his undershirt and underwear... but wrapped his towel around his waist just so not to offend neighbors.

and i started shovelling water out using the snow shovel (kindda works well) while chot went to the home improvement store(s) to get a pump for is shop vac. unfortunately, he came home empty handed... all stores are all out of the pump. which makes me feel a bit better knowing we are not the only one facing this watery mess... but it still sucks BIG time.

can i sue someone for this mess??... : (

nura is still sick... n i'm sick with all the cranky-ness and this house sooooo pushing my buttons. we were planning to re-do the bathroom but now we have to think of the basement. chot has started to call contractors... we need a sump pump installed...

I HATE THIS HOUSE... the end.

oh boy!!!

2008-04-21T14:27:00.002-05:00

we went away last weekend and came home sunday night to a wet, musty n dirty basement. the drain that was suppose to take water OUT, let water IN. I HATE THIS HOUSE... SSSSOOO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

chot took a day off to do damage control. it's now close to 3 pm... he has been clearing n cleaning since 8 this morning. kasihan chot...

i did go to assist and now am so sleppy from nura waking up every hour last night. her nose is runny... n so is mine. eeerrrwwwhhhh...

ah... nura. these past 2 weeks, she has been pulling herself up in her crib n last weekend, managed to crawl forward. she did started to crawl before but when the whole i-felt-victorious-standing-myself-up-now-nothing-else-matters phase started, learning other tricks took a back seat.

i am going to take a few tylenols... getting sick is not an option. will update soon...

snips of stories

2008-04-09T13:45:00.002-05:00

am here on the couch, waiting for my pasta to cook. a woodpecker is outside, pecking on our tree. and earlier, a bird flew into the living room window. a loud thud an i saw a black thing bounced off it. looked outside but didn't see an unconcious bird so i guess it's ok.

a lot of activities outside with the "wildlife", but still not warm enough for nura to venture out for a stroll around the neighborhood. wish it gets warmer soon.

nura is getting good at sitting herself up all by herself. so much so, it's all she does now. i go to get her after naps n there she'd be, sitting in her crib. but this new trick is a bit hazardous coz just last night she did it in her semi-sleep state. i thought she was cranky from gas (that's another story)... she was crying n crying so i decided to let her cry herself back to sleep. she did after 30 minutes... an hour passed n she cried again. so i decided to go in n console her a bit, put some vapor rub on her tummy. AND THERE SHE WAS, FOLDED IN TWO. at some point, she sat up and didn't un-sit herself. and after some time of crying, just lay her head between her legs. qua qua qua...

today, chot will come home early, he went to work at 6:30 am. i should go take a shower n finish cooking dinner.

Tomorrow

2008-04-04T19:46:00.004-05:00

i'm making myself write this post because tomorrow nura will turn 8 months old... yey!!!

let see, she can sit unassisted, a pro at it actually. and the acrobatics she's been doing was probably to push herself into a sitting position. so far, she managed to sit herself up on two occasions. both times were in her crib, sitting there, waiting n crying for me to come get her. i feel she gets that extra motivation she needed when she wails n protests at me for not coming to her quick enough.

she can also crawl a few steps forward. she put her hands out wanting to be picked up. prefers me over chot... she can push her mobile for more music and pull at the dangly mobile toys. she sucks on her two right finger non-stop. barely managing to suck on he toes... can't bear to be left alone. when we put her in her highchair, she'll cry from not getting her food quick enough, and soon after, cry from not getting out of her chair fast enough. hates, hates, hates getting her food pasted face wiped...

anyways, i always check on her before i go to bed. and yesterday i peeked in and saw her in the most unnatural sleeping position ever. so thinking i HAVE to relieve her from her suffering, i went in and flip her on her back. BIG MISTAKE... instead of making her sleep comfortable, i've succeeded in making myself UNcomfortable. *sigh* all i did was wake her up. and upon seeing me walk out of the room, she started to whimper, n whimper developed into cries n soon after, major major meltdown. she finally slept at 12 midnight (n so did i). SO if the baby had twisted herself into a pretzel in her sleep, unless she cries for help, don't undo it... saves everyone from unnecessary hardship.

i want to check facebook now : D... until next time.

Nura's Look-alike Meter

2008-03-31T10:22:00.005-05:00

this site says nura looks equally like me and chot... only after the 3rd attempt though : )... first try said she looks 3% more like me n second one says she looks 4% more like chot. although i think she looks more like chot but i'll accept this one!!!

i've been neglecting to blog. i even miss posting when nura turned 7 months old. i have to say, I BLAME FACEBOOK... more accurately, I BLAME MARINADELREY for introducing me to facebook.

we're doing well. some days are more hectic than others but ultimately, i'm doing well. maybe it has something to do with the weather, it's getting warmer n my bulbs are sprouting. but there was those bummer days when we got some"surprise" snowfall. hope my bulbs didn't get shocked into dying...

my little nura is going to turn 8 months this saturday. she is going acrobatics. trying to balance herself on one arm n one leg while the other arm is up trying to grab air n the other leg extended to her side. she's attempting to pull at her mobile n soon, we have to put her on a lower level in her crib. she's about 1/2 an inch away from reaching the crib railing (is it called that??... anyways)...

she's crawing backwards and doing it faster everyday. i once put her down on the comforter on the floor n caged her in with pillows while i prepare her lunch in the kitchen... yeah, coming back into the living room, my little girl successfully pushed herself back under the chair n tasting the carpet...

anyways, was toying with the possibility of shaving her hair. it is said that hair will grow thicker n longer after a clean shave but i'm a chicken of a mom. chicken of having to see nura bald. chicken of people thinking she's a he for sure. as it is she is confused for a boy.

another he's a she story. we were doing grocery an i dressed her in a yellow n green sweater. i don't think yellow n green are boy's colors but everyone else thinks so i guess (they might be boy's colors but this particular yellow n green are oh so soft). anyways, this time (this time meaning, there was previously a first time... she wore that sweater, she was called a he)... just to make it completely confusion/ frustration-4-me proof i put a yellow hairband on her. darn it!!!... she still got a "he"... lady!!! no mother would put a hairband on a boy...

i have pics... and more pics of her with hairband. hehehe... i have become a little hairband crazy : )...

the "i'm cross" look... who u calling a boy errrrhhh...

Nura with action n sound

2008-03-12T21:54:00.005-05:00

trying out posting videos...

to stress or not to stress... of course not!!!

2008-02-25T09:35:00.005-06:00

hello... : ) how is everyone??...

geee.... racking my brains thinking of something to write.

i turned 32 earlier this month. we were in peoria that saturday for chinese new year and i secretly thought chot had something up his sleeves. ya la, since all of our peoria friends were at bee's, it'd be easy enough to surprise me with a cake. but alas... no. i got a happy birthday wish in audra's kitchen that morning and that was it. (i guess u get what u give... i didn't do anything special for his birthday... serves me right... hehehe...)

nura on the other hand gave me the messiest diaper change that night. it started when she sprayed poop on me and that send chot & i into a premature butt washing. premature because (1) since we were sleeping at bee's and didn't want to ruin a friend's nice home, we freaked (2) unfortunately the little girl was not done pooping... she pooped on chot's hands, poop escaped the towel and poop droplets drop, drop drop on bee's comforters, pillow cases and duvet cover. A BIG MESS... very memorable, thank you.

i am less uptight, i think... life seems less of a blur... just a little. managing stress a bit better, taking less days to come out of a "stress frenzy" i put myself in. am starting to joke with chot and being more pleasant, i hope : )...

++++

nura???...

nura... is flipping to her heart's desire (and to our dismay...). she started to do it all by herself on feb 8, i know because i got it on the camcorder. we no longer change her diaper on the kitchen counter... and she was about 1/2 a turn away from diving off the bed a few days ago... oh, how my heart jumped (and the house shook from this baby hippo running across the room).

a week or so into this new development, chot said out loud that he was not ready for nura being mobile. which is funny considering he coached nura every chance he got and now when she is, he not ready??. funnier when he wants it done "on demand"... : )... on demand??... hahaha...

anyways, nura didn't flip on her tummy in her sleep until maybe 1 week after going it awake. point of no return. she does the half flip, the complete flip, the 90, 180 and 360 turn... and a
combination routine. but yesterday i think she re-discovered sleeping on her back.

she's eating solid like a pro... when she wants to of course : )... am reluctant to have her try oat. she's eating 3 times a day and drinks milk about 5 times in 24 hours... with the food and milk not being back to back... just like the doctor ordered. but i have to say, the "stress frenzy" i put myself into in the beginning from trying to fit 3 feedings and 5 milk sessions AND not to give her milk right after food, from a 1 feeding and milk every 3 hours in the day time.... + naps + having her stay awake between naps 2 1/2 to 3 hours made me a very stressful mama and gave me a headache...

it's better now, her timetable but when she doesn't follow, i go around "macamana, macamana, macamana..."... am telling myself to learn to roll with it... ah... i hear her on the baby monitor... later...

6 MONTHS

2008-02-04T12:58:00.000-06:00

tomorrow, nura will be 6 months old. time goes by so fast... sssoooo fast. macam tak percaya ajek. yesterday, coming back home from jalan2, chot prod her up on his chest and nura reached out to touch his face and then reached out to touch mine, went back and forth, then gave out a smile of satisfied (agaknya... anyways...) i mean, she reached out to touch (and scratched... and pinched) our faces before but yesterday's felt profoundly different, it was sweet and i felt warm and fuzzy all over... : )

how she'd grown. her legs dangles on my side when i feed her when before the whole length of her fits squarely in front. she's heavier too... of course... those chubby cheeks weighs 1 lbs a piece... : )

i read in a magazine of how babies at this age will concentrate on a specific development. some are like a wind up toy being set loose on the floor. some will be yapping non stop and some will be quietly observing everything. nura is the observer type. we try a lot of things to have her squeak but on the most part very little sound out of her (crying and wailing doesn't count). my MIL says it is due to me being quiet with her all day long. or maybe she's just the silent type like mommy... : D

6 months in age also equals 6 months of breastfeeding... OMG, i didn't think i'd get this far. many many times i felt like quiting because this breastfeeding thing is hard!!! and since it is recommended to breastfeed for a whole year i guess i'd press on for another 6 months, insyaallah.

well, that's it on the nura front. all nura, all the time...

monday night

2008-01-28T21:54:00.000-06:00

it's close to 10 pm. we're watching anthony bourdain's no reservations and waiting for nura to wail.

yesterday night, we (putting it mildly...) LET nura sleep through the night. chot n i (mostly i) am so done with waking n stumbling out of bed to attend to her.

we'll see how it goes tonight. and the next night... and the next...

and to friends that left me comments... sorry lah for not commenting back...

ok... chot is looking at me... we should sleep... or try to sleep...

write it down

2008-01-24T15:39:00.000-06:00

1) nura is sleeping by herself now. we started 2 weeks ago... chot n i moved to the other room n gave her ours. easier since she only needed to adjust being left alone. in the beginning, pure torture!!! chot n i were feeling bad, letting her wail n when she whimper, rasa sangat kasihan. i experienced some major seperation enxiety... chot??... u have to ask him.

now, she sleeps at 7 pm... n wakes up 4 food at around midnight n another at 6 am. when will she sleep through the night... i soooo dunno... but hoping it's soon. and since she doesn't get food every 3 hours at night, she doesn't poop... so chot's sleep is rarely interrupted.

naps are a different story. naps are not in any kind of schedule... am still working on that. but i make sure she gets 3 naps of about 45 minutes or longer. she is happy throughout the day compared to before when she was only getting 2 naps of 30 minutes.

2) we started her on rice cereal. play eating. some days she'll be into eating but usually hates it. she'll do her "let me out of here" routine after spoon # 4...

3) rash... darn... rash. her's is lingering n may not be from using aveeno. her's will be coming n going until she grows out of it, or so the doctor said.

4) still not flipping.

5) oh, am quite bothered by strangers using "he" instead of "she". and some would ask 'is it a boy or a girl??"... lady, she's wearing a pink snow cap!!! ok... very very light pink. so, i'm on a mission to girly-fy my little nura.

i'm using olive oil for her scalp. helps with the dryness n insyaallah, she'll grow more hair so i can put bows and clips and brush it. oh, how i love to brush little girls' hair.

6) winter. we're so ready for the season to end. it snowed again today n chot is not looking forward to clear the driveway. he's talking of moving to texas... n dubai... n australia.

7) oh, also chot is asking for another baby. waaaaa???... whaccatalkinbout lewis...

nura being "manja" to her ayah...

"help... i've fallen and i can't get up"...

"noh ho ho... noh ho ho..."

happpiiee...

clueless mommy

2008-01-14T16:24:00.000-06:00

some women are born to be moms, some are not and then there's the clueless. i'm one of them.

some moms take charge, think forward and then there's those that's always a few steps behind. all i can say is, i should have read more on ways to take care of a baby BEFORE the baby came. instead, i'm winging it, only refering to my baby book when i'm stumped.

i know i'm making nura confuse with her nap n sleep schedule. i totally don't remember how it was last week... all is a blur really. last weekend, i told myself i have to figure a schedule for her and stick to it coz the "baby will tell me if she's tired routine" can only go so far. and have her learn to fall to sleep on her own. and stop sharing a room with her...

i'm reluctant to travel, afraid i'd mess up her routine n having her out of her usual element. last time we were in peoria, she refuse to sleep in the pack n play. ended up sleeping in between chot n me. but want her to be versatile too since we use to travel a lot before... see clueless...

well... anyways, have a funny pic of her but i can't go get the memory card...

some of my fav pics of nura at 4 to 5 months, plus other stories

2008-01-12T14:52:00.000-06:00

if ur in my facebook circle of friends, u've definately seen these pics. double duty keeping both my blog n facebook as current as possible....

@%$&*@#... RATS... I PUSHED THE WRONG BUTTON N IS LEFT WITH ONLY THE ABOVE 2 LINES... RATS...

WELL... JUST PICS OF NURA... NO OTHER STORIES...

baby nura will be 5 months tomorrow

2008-01-04T12:45:00.000-06:00

so very true, babies grow so fast. she used to be sooo tiny and as of yesterday, she weights 16lbs 4 oz!!! and 24 1/2 inches. found a site that teaches mommies to wear their babies using any piece of cloth readily available around the house. chot offered one of his kain pelikat (alamak, how to spell??) to be cut into one big flat piece. first attempt was iffy looking but nura's butt and weight anchored her in place n she fell asleep. i'd show u guys the pics but all has a view of my huge ass... ummm ass... the pics really reaaallly look atrocious. hmmm... i'll post the least offending, don't get nauseous ok people.

anywhoo... i was advised to get fall/ winter clothing for next year (i mean this year) that's on clearance... save money that way. i am to look for 18 month sized clothing n i think she's set. But the dread i felt, 18 months??... i'm not ready!!!... too soon to be buying big girl clothes...

nura n her milk. she loves her milk too much that she still wakes up in the middle of the night to feed. which is ok, i don't mind... i get thirsty in the middle of the night too. so she takes from me and she poops for chot without fail. and we tried giving her diluted rice cereal twice so far... wanted to start on a daily basis so she can cultivate the ability to eat from a spoon but can't find the time. And maybe when we start her on solid, she won't need her middle of the night feeding.

she got a major rash attack that started about 2 weeks ago. we thought we'd try a better/ pricier lotion and to our horror... red patchy, bumpy and painful looking rash appeared. DARN IT!!! gorgeous skin ruined!!! i was saying sorry to her to no end. anyways, i was told to use certain creams n in 3 to 4 days rash will go away but n.o.p.e... her's stayed n even got worse. so we took her to her doctor. moral of the story, if it's not broken... don't fix it.

what else... she's still not flipping on her tummy on her own. since she hates tummy time, we kindda neglected it. her back is strong and she can raise her head up when on her tummy n push her torso up too. we help her roll over so she knows there is that option n think we'd let her decide when the time is right for herself. although, there is the possibility of bypassing flipping n crawling all together.

ok then, baby nura is up n her diaper's smelly. then, i'll attempt to carry her on my back so i can do laundry. oh... here's the website... give it a try, wear your baby... whip out that kain batik that u never use or that alas meja n have fun with it...

too busy for words

2008-01-02T19:58:00.000-06:00

ok... maybe a few words. some of our most recent pictures... after all, most of you guys (if not all) really want pics to see anyways. i know i go around people's site looking for pictures.

oh... and happy new year and selamat hari raya haji... and selamat la semuanya.

gowd

2007-12-05T16:43:00.000-06:00

she made me eat my words...

acted out last night... screamed her lungs out for being put in her crib... i gave in at 3 in the morning...

torture...

well tq nura for a memorable 4 month old "present", u really shouldn't have... now, please behave...

morning

2007-12-04T07:43:00.000-06:00

i've been feeling extraordinarily tired and constantly hungry. i was sure i'd lost a few lbs from feeling so drained this past week but my weight miraculously stayed put. i do feel lighter or maybe what i felt was lightheaded-ness : )...

nura will be 4 months old tomorrow. chot's co-worker said, as babies reach these milestones, they'll act up a bit. so, i was hoping that is the case with nura. she refuses to take her naps in her crib, preferring ( eerrrmm demanding...) to be held instead. but alhamdulillah, she still wants to sleep in her crib at night.

she shocked us this morning by making a 90 degree turn in her sleep. i should have taken a picture... anyways...

this is still a bit surreal for me. having a baby and her growing so fast. felt like no time at all and she's already 4 months old. or maybe i'm slow... coz as i am just getting use to, easing into having a newborn, she's suddenly 4!!!...

but i love it, this motherhood thing, i think... (yeah, like a have a choice now...) no... i love it, i love her... my yummy baby.

i have pictures from trips we took to Omaha to visit ellie and peoria for a birthday party. go to myphotoalbum ya...

dreaming of blogging

2007-11-26T10:51:00.000-06:00

it's been so long since i've written anything, not that i don't want to but caring for a little one is a fulltime job. chot is a good dad... is a pro at changing diapers.

nura??... well nura is bigger and healthy. what's funny about her is that she is very vocal now... she'd "sing" very loudly when she's pooping half of the time. other times, she'd grunt... but sometimes she's give us silent stinkers, out of nowhere we'd hear "proop... proop... proop" from her butt.

she's better at sucking her own fingers... she'd drench her hands with saliva and half her face would be wet. and she spits and make bubbles. she's also getting good at grasping things and attempting to put stuff in her mouth.

her back is stronger and she can lift her head without much trouble. when we put her in her boppy pillow, she'd instantly want to push herself up, using her elbows and crunching her tummy.

oh yeah... she LOVES to jump... legs are definately getting stronger.

alamak, she's awake...

anyways, i find myself hating my 3 month pregnant looking tummy... kept saying to myself that i need to start on pilates but saying and actually doing are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

ammm... want to blog more but i have to stop... i end with a pic of nura... bundling up to go out.

Nura is 3 months old

2007-11-05T10:52:00.000-06:00

a sweet milestone. she smiles, coos and laughs (currently, only chot can make her laugh)...

she's aware of her surroundings... so much so, she won't stay put when i feed her in an unfamiliar place. also, would want to see who's talking... pulling and tugging...

she's about static weight gain wise. height... i'm not sure.

it's confirm... nura has a unibrow. hmmm... what can i do... but it's a cute unibrow!!!... hahaha

i have more to say, just can't remember what about... and i have recent photos... still in the camera.

but i have these to share... nura's range of expressions

HER ANGRY FACE

HER SMILEY FACE

HER SURPRISED FACE

HER WORRIED FACE

HER THINKING FACE... HMMM... POOPING FACE ALSO BOLEH...

Nura's First Eid

2007-10-23T12:28:00.000-05:00

we in waterloo celebrated eid on friday oct. 12. didn't really feel like eid, until we went to peoria on saturday (peorians 1st syawal, oct. 13).

it was nice... seeing friends and enjoying the food. nura was a good baby... a bit off schedule feeding wise since she and i were out of our normal surrounding. i paid with pain of engorgement...

i love this photo of her, taken in the van on our way to peoria. all pictures are here.

Well, Selamat Hari Raya to all. forgive all of my wrongdoing.

First Immunization

2007-10-10T20:07:00.000-05:00

She went out happy and smiling...

came home cranky, with bandages on both thighs...

so, she got her first round of shots. why do they have to use long ass needles?? they were close to an inch long... i was afraid they'll poke her bones. anyways, next immunization will be in 2 more months.

she weights 13 lbs 4 ozs... no wonder my arms are errmmm... more muscular. she's at the 95th percentile weight-wise but at 21 inches in height, she's only at 5 percent!!! my short and chubby little angel.

Nura is 2 months old

2007-10-04T10:19:00.000-05:00

nura will be 2 months old tomorrow. she feeds every other hour and naps in between boobs, so as soon as i'm done feeding and burping and changing her diaper... it's feeding time again!! so exhausted at times, hard to breathe.

but she makes up for it with her smile, cooing and funny faces.

at 2 months, she sleeps longer at night. usually 5 hours before she asks for food or i wake her up.

her lashes are long and thick... but the eyebrows are a bit scary looking. hopefully they'll grow less of a unibrow... (I BLAME CHOT) : )...

and i think she has a dimple on her right cheek... i think...

she weights 10 lbs 8 oz or so about 2 weeks ago. and grown a bit taller.

ok... times up.

Quickly, quickly

2007-09-20T14:05:00.000-05:00

She's taking her nap.

Wanted to wish all a good month of fasting. I'm not sure what fasting day today is since i'm not fasting. i'm also not thinking of eid... what i am constantly thinking is of nura's milk consumption, and after she drinks, thinking... no... hoping she doesn't barf it up. her poop, her gassy tummy, her rash. if she's cold... or hot. WHY WON'T SHE SLEEP (and when she sleeps a bit longer than usual) WHY ISN'T SHE WAKING UP.

Breastfeeding is not easy. recurring problem of latching her properly. i did graduate from college and i do understand the literature on putting baby to nipple correctly. but still... WELL, at my defense, nura squirms and resists, and when i don't get her food quickly, she wails. but alhamdulillah, i think i'm getting the hang of it.

Also alhamdulillah, our hospital has wonderful lactation consultants... we go see Susan for help and she is a lifesaver. we just saw her yesterday, was worried if nura and i have yeast. nura may have a little yeast in her tummy from the rounds of antibiotics killing off all bacteria in her, including the good digestive bacteria she had/ needs.

I don't have yeast, but Susan and i have successfully concluded that i have a condition called Reynauds... a blanching of the nipple due to blood vessels contracting, leaving them white... quite painful.

AND, i've bruised my boobs when i'm expressing milk by hand, doing it too forcefully coz one shouldn't express milk like one is MILKING A COW.

So, on top of the damage i've caused my nipples from my own shortcomings, i also have this reynauds condition... BREASFEEDING IS HARD.

Anyways, KAK MIKE, MY EMAIL IS kemboja76@yahoo.com

And we went to Peoria the last weekend before fasting month started, had a good time seeing friends i haven't seen for close to 2 months. Pictures are here. Took her to the Asian grocery store whose lady owner would ask me EVERYTIME me go there before of when we will have our own baby. Sampai malas nak pi kedai dia dah. So we took nura to see her, as proof of us having one already, so she won't ask us THAT million dollar question again. she said this year is a very good year... only happens once in 60 years... not just any year of the boar but the year of the GOLDEN BOAR... very golden indeed.

BUT the main reason for posting today is to post these pictures. chot and i were playing around, trying to see nura resembles him or me most. she just doesn't look like any of us, maybe not yet. or maybe she's a mix of us making her look like none of us. or maybe she looks like her grandmother... my MIL. whatever lah. but the funny thing is the face she made... we gave up after 3 attempts : )...

what's in a name??

2007-09-11T15:19:00.000-05:00

when nura was still in my tummy, family and friends would ask on a name for our baby. chot and i were so gung-ho on giving her a malay name, as oppose to an arabic name. we feel that giving our child a malay name is appropriate when baby is malay. and not like there's no meaning to the word/ name... not an arabic meaning but a malay meaning is a meaning nonetheless.

so classical malay names for girls are usually of flowers and for boys... i dunno... types of wood?? jept suggested a nice boy name of a type of wood. a manly name to call ur boy "Jati" right??

some other suggested names were "antoi" (my father-in-law). "antoi" is a type of flower by the way. and other non flower names like "murni" meaning "pure".

i always like the name "seri" for a girl. like m. nasir's daughter's name in the movie fenomena. "seri" means ""glow" although i think there might be other alternative meanings to the word.

and "tuah" for a boy. "tuah" means "luck".

once when we just got married, i suggested to chot that when we get a baby girl, i like to name her "comel" which means "cute". but chot shot that suggestion down, saying "comel" is the kind of name people give to their cat!!!

but when the time was finally here and baby was about to come into the world, i guess i chickened out (I chickened out since chot left the baby naming job to me). so as i always like (bordering on love for) "nura", i went with that. and that's that...

why did i chickened out?? i dunno really but most2 probably feeling like i was playing with an important issue like our child's name. i might scarred her for life by doing so. maybe, when she goes to school in malaysia, everyone might be making fun of her because of her "different" name.

and then there's the spelling of the name "nura"... and the pronunciation that chot and i went through. ideally it should be spelled "nuura" since it should be pronunced with a long "u".

oh well... i can't be too fussy on it because despite our best efford to give her a purfect name (in our eyes), people will still pronunce it the way they want. like my MIL, she kept calling nura "nOra"...

and now, as nura is spending time with us, growing and showing us her personality, we've been calling her with nicknames... i've sometimes call her "comot" = messy... due to how messy she looks after each feeding.

and chot calling her "konyot" sometimes. i don't know the word but he explained it as "bantal konyot", like a child's favorite pillow or blanket. when she's crumpled up and smelly but ultimately, well loved.

jumble womble

2007-09-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

am multitasking. typing with one hand n holding her in place for feeding with the other.

nura is turning into a little person. before, she was more of a blob asking/ wailing for her needs to be met. hmmmm... she still wails but now she smiles when i put my face close, making small talk to hers... understanding my jokes.

bringing her home, i was full of enxiety. but things are beginning to settle into place. i want to put this down... that even when she's just a month old, i always felt like i've known her forever.

anyways... have tons of pics to share.

of nura's hospital stay. oh, by the way, she had a VCUG done last friday. her urine valve is normal and the bacteria in her urine is a one time thing.

of ellie's visit... enjoyed her and jeffrey's company. we'll return the visit insyaallah... if not soon, later : )... i'll get nura to the zoo if it's the last thing i'll ever do.... hheeeaahhh hhaaa hhaa hhaa (chanelling gargamel from "the smurfs" cartoon")

of kansas city friends coming over. it was fun... thanks for coming. jangan serik ok...

what else???...oh no, my other hand needs this typing hand...

Nura is 1 month

2007-09-04T15:43:00.000-05:00

our nura is one month. she's taking a nap right now and hope i can finish writing this before she wakes up.

what marks this milestone??... let see, she's chubbier and weights 8 lbs and 8 ozs. last friday. i tried putting on this cute dress ellie got her but it's still a bit big.

alamak, she's awake... she wants food... ok, quickly....

she eats a lot and then barf it out soon after. but mostly, it stays down.

she's a bit impatient.

she regular... bowel movement wise.

she makes cute faces... makes cute sounds (when she's not fussy)

she smiles more now when she's full and content. laughs even... so cute...

ok... she's crying her eyes out... happy 1 month old nura, ibu and ayah loves you.

update please

2007-08-24T18:12:00.000-05:00

so, i have to keep it short and simple.

had 2 previous drafts, trying to tell the same story and still it didn't get publish.

nura went into hospital for 3 days, high fever, 100.6 F. went in last sunday, went home wedneday. they poke her for spinal fluid, many times drawing blood and stuck an i.v on her. VERY TRAUMATIC for me.

bacteria in urine. hope it's a one time thing... but doc. will follow up on a test on her urine valve.

she's fine now.

i'll have to take better pics of her.

she's gaining weight. being an inexperience mom, i freak out a bit when i realized she was developing a double chin. i thought her chin was swollen!!!... qua qua qua. but being in the hospital at that time didn't help..., i took every changes in her to be an illness.

i'll post pics from the hospital later.

Our Baby Nura

2007-08-10T15:08:00.001-05:00

: )... so, this is our precious Nura, alhamdulillah, allah hu akhbar. Chot and i are so thankful everything went well and nura is a healthy baby and we love her very much.

she weights 6lbs 11.2 ozs at birth (what is that in kg??), i dunno how long she is but she has a head of black hair.

she was born 8 days overdue and i felt strong contractions around 3 am sunday morning August 5th. after subuh prayer and a shower, chot drove me to the hospital and i was admitted. was dialating at 3 to 4 cm and got an epidural in the first hour there. in the next hour, was dialating at 5 to 6 cm. at 12 noon, was fully dialated and nura's head was a finger's length away from crowning. the epidural was a bit strong for me because i was numb as numb can be, couldn't feel a thing... which i am not complaining.

so, they turn the epidural machine off and waited till 2:30 to have me push. i was still not feeling anything but went ahead and started pushing anyways. and at 4:43pm, nura came into the world.

chot was by my side all the way. helped me push and took photos. the doctor asked him if he wanted to cut the cord but he said no. it's scary enough being in the room for him i think, so no one insisted he do it. but he took a lot of "in the moment" pictures... admirable considering everything that's going on.

we stayed in the hospital for 2 days, going home early tuesday evening. thank you kak ellie for sharing some info with the others. the lightning got our modem, wireless router and some other computer component. we had to (reluctantly) buy new stuff... a computer too.

thank you everyone for the well wishes left in the comments section... nice to know u have people thinking of u, and wondering how ur going. i think this post satisfy all inquiries... ya???

Nura is starting to wiggle and i know soon she'll ask for milk. she's 5 days old today by the way. i've uploaded pictures of the birthing, click here. i'll try to share more stories and pictures soon insyaallah.

My niece Husna

2007-08-04T12:53:00.001-05:00

i was waiting for new pictures of husna since forever. my sister took tons of pics BUT taking and actually sending some are two seperate, seemingly unrelated occurrences.

but i got them today!!! oh, how i missed this little bugger. Husna has more hair now, enough for cute hair clips. and she doesn't look like my mom anymore, i think. probably more like her dad.

she's learning to imitate facial expression, hence the curled up lips in the second picture.

as for me, i've dialated 1 cm on wednesday. and the doctor says if i don't go into labor by wednesday morning, i'll be induced. SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

no action yet

2007-07-30T12:32:00.000-05:00

so, i'm still here, no changes in my current pregnant condition. i'm not complaining since i think being "late" buys me more time to prepare. but that's the whole thing, prepare for what exactly??

chot's was fidgety a week or so before my due date. asking me tons of questions when i came back from the doctor's office. asking me if there's any changes, if i'm dialated and if i felt ok, so on and so on... and so on.

i pointed out to him of his restlessness, seemed like he's bothered that i'm not following the timetable. if my due date is so and so, something should happen by now or i won't meet my deadline kind of thinking.

and as soon as i ended my sentence. he said, "i know u, if it was up to u, u'll be late for as long as u can". so true!!!... but to my defense, it's not like i'm posponing the arrival of our baby through mind control. she's just wants to stay in for now. the troubles of the world must be scaring her, much2 more safer to stay inside.

so, what is it with meeting the due date?? it's a guess date anyways. tell me how many ladies out there gave birth come their due date?? highly unlikely right?? so, no worries. Plus, the doctor says since i'm ok and the baby is ok, she'll give me up to 10 days. we'll see how long this goes on.

anyways, there might be a downside to keeping the baby longer. i was paying for coffee at barnes and nobles yesterday and the lady asked "u'r pretty big, when are u due??", to which i answered "ammmm... yesterday". it was quite funny really, until it occured to me that the baby will not stop growing and i will continue to expand... qua qua qua...

anyways, a picture with the peaches in the backyard.

battle for the peaches

2007-07-23T12:05:00.000-05:00

this year, we're blessed with peaches. last year we only got one stinkin' peach from 2 full grown trees!!! it depends on how the weather is really, if it suddenly gets cold or there's frost, the buds will be stunted. this year, there's no cherries and the plums are puny. but the peaches and apples looks good.

the abundance of peaches made the branches droop, i was worries they'll all break. i think we're suppose to discard some so the ones that's left will grow bigger but luckily we didn't since the squirrels were being such pests and constantly attack the peaches. if we did discard some and then factor in the squirrels, we'd end up with none.

then my in-laws came into the picture. as soon as they got here, they got possessive over our fruit trees, and since the peaches are the first to ripen, it's peaches this and that. everyday, they'll report to us on the squirrel activity. how many squirrels, their sizes, their manners. how the squirrels are ruining the fruits.

these observations turned into hatred, they began keeping watch. once i saw them lurking behind some bushes trying to surprise the squirrels i guess. and i saw a makeshift sling shot in the basement. chot told me of ayah relating to him seeing our neighbor's kid patrolling their vegetable patch with a BB gun. ayah came "this close" to asking for a BB gun of his own...

once, to everyone's surprise, ayah went and caught a squirrel with his bare hands. he was out of breath and got his thumb bitten in the process... but the look of joy on his face... priceless!!! i was soooooooo sure we were going to have squirrel curry for dinner that night but he let it go. if u look closely, u can even see ayah's bloodied thumb...

for now, the talk of squirrels and peaches are no more. ayah and mama went and harvested all the peaches... even the unripen ones. next will be the apples!!!

Tasmanian sweetheart

2007-07-16T08:52:00.000-05:00

new picture of Adam... i think he looks pretty dashing, with his hair all slick like that... boleh chop tak utk this baby in my tummy??...

gosh i miss them... tasmania is so far away...

still pregnant

2007-07-13T11:22:00.000-05:00

tomorrow i'll be at 38 weeks. i don't think i'll be delivering early since seeing the doctor on July 10th and she said i'll probably deliver close to my due date.

the baby's head is in place but she's still up there. i'm not even dialated yet just my cervics has started to thin out. so sorry to those that received news from me of being/ started to dialate, i must have heard the doctor wrong when i was there previously.

so, it's just a matter of waiting. some days i'd get the heebie jeebies... and some days i'm ok. chot said he's scared and unprepared. i guess we somewhat feel the same, us being first time parents, there's a lot of unknowns.

i wish i had my mom with me... i know, i know... my MIL is here and she's my "mom" but if i get to choose, i want my real mom... that would be great. but beggers can't be choosers. AND, i have a long list of phone numbers of friends to call for advise on issues regarding caring for baby.

i went to a few baby classes. not the whole she bang... just managed to get into the last of a series of pre-natal classes (i called too late) and it was on what to expect after delivery, post-partum etc. and went to a breastfeeding class on tuesday. The instructor did say to bring our partner along, but i went to the breastfeeding class without chot. There were 2 guys there and coming back from it, i told him and he promply replied "those guys just want to see pictures of boobies"... go figure.

but the good thing about our small town hospital, the support system is good and more personal. a lactationist is always around on the floor and they take turns minding the breastfeeding hotline. there's another hotline for other baby questions. also, there's a breastfeeding mothers' support group that meets every wednesday. insyaallah, i'll be ok... clueless at times but ok.

anyways... i was fiddling on the computer a couple of days ago and i wound up looking through some older photos of me in my first trimester. a bit alarmed at how poofy my face is now... ok, ok... i AM very pregnant these days but it didn't diminish the ickyness i felt... ahhhh... soooo superficial. and a gurdle my MIL brought from malaysia... a size M. i took one look at it and wondered how the hell am i going to fit into that!!!

so here's some pictures to compare.

4 more weeks to 40 weeks

2007-06-27T14:33:00.000-05:00

actually 4 weeks and 3 days... but who's counting...

today, went to the doctor's office and she went and put her hands up there. and said the baby's head is in place.

(1) ouch...

(2) coolness. when this is the first physical contact with baby. i mean the baby is real, she's been wiggling and pushing her butt up my right side but what the doctor just did made it more real...

so, 4 more weeks... maybe more... maybe less... most probably less is u ask my mom. always saying 2 weeks early... always... always the case with ladies on my mom's side. so fingers crossed.

Thank You, Thank You

2007-06-22T11:05:00.001-05:00

it's been hectic... or rather, i've been slow. slow in doing everything.

my body aches and i can't sleep at nights. so in the day, i nap a lot. i'm bigger and chubbier and retaining water. seemes like my whole body is swollen... normal stuff, right guys??...

anyways, enough about that. i'm writing for a purpose here, to say a big THANK YOU to dear friends. not in any particular order...

TQ to KAK ELLIE for driving all the way from Omaha and giving and lending tons of stuff. and going around looking for good deals at garage sales for me. i had fun having you and JEFFREY here.

and thank you EMMY for the boxful of baby clothes and other stuff. you're such a sweetheart and very thoughtful. if u can make it, come and visit us and chot's mum can make yummy stuff for u guys.

TQ also to MUS for organizing the baby shower and offering her home for the event. and to the Peoria clan AUDRA, KAK CHA, MIRA, BEE, YAN & ELISZ for the nice gifts, effort and yummy food.

TQ to SYUMAILA for the gift and coming. Finally, we got to meet.

The baby shower was so much fun. great time chatting and eating and laughing. enjoying the kids and playing silly baby shower games. Thank you so much you guys!!! LOVED IT. more pictures are here.

(i know i forgot someone... so i'm adding this now). a big TQ to ANIS & JEPT for the crib and tons of baby stuff. really appreciate it u guys. saves us a lot right there.

and TQ to JOE for the frame, i'll use it for sure & remember you always.

TQ to NEENIE and APEX for those lovely booty and adorable dress. you guys are such dears!!!

also, a big TQ to BAI for the cute baby stuff and helping me get to places i needed to go. dearest buddy... you're a life saver.

and TQ to chot's co-worker KERRY & wife LORNA for the baby clothes. i need to remind myself to send them a TQ note.

sorry for being so out of touch to some of you. want to write proper TQ notes, or email u guys personally but like i said, i'm pretty slow right now.

anyways, pray for me ok u guys, it's getting close and i'm scared... ammmm... that's it. THANK YOU MUCH.

Salam De Kalb

2007-05-26T05:52:00.000-05:00

so, here i am again, early2 in the morning blogging.

we're in De kalb for Midwest games... they're doing it at Northern Illinois University this year. My very first time in De Kalb and NIU but chot's been here eons ago to see a friend. he showed me the town and the downtown, and once went to the town's corn festival. if anyone is wondering, he said he wasn't here visiting a girlfriend... he said... hahaha. maybe i'll inquire in more details.

anyways, when midwest games comes along, he'll always lose to the temptation of playing soccer. and each year he goes, and each year he'll come back to me with aches and pains and SWEARS he will not do this again... but then he does... vicious cycle... vicious...

this year i'm tagging along, might as well travel when it's still the two of us. and after he's done with soccer... we'll make our usual round of chicago. with a van, i can buy big stuff at Ikea : )... yeah right... dream on lady!!!

anyways actually, really excited to see Ika & the other kiddies. I want to hear Ika say "toksey"... courtesy of audra's in-laws. will share pics later...

++++

update on chot + my tummy. he's much better than before... there's still worry on his part when the skin is all (in his words) "shiny". well, that the situation. and on the flipside, he's started talking about the next baby. wallau!!!... i'm having enxiety thinking about giving birth, how to raise one child proper and he's already planning out the second one.

ehek ehek, but we'll see, if god is willing. coz (1) with me having endomitriosis, it is wise to not wait to long, not wanting the endo to come back when i'm left errrr... idle. and (2) i'm not actually spring chicken anymore...

: )... speaking about spring chicken, there was a fellow teacher in gerik. she'd tell us her life story on more than one occasion... on getting married late. so to make up for time wasted, every year she'd produce one baby. she has a whole batallion of kiddies tailing her. and we can spot her grafitti car anywhere. when anyone one of us in the teacher's room says "guess who's pregnant??"... i can bet top dollars ALL of us were thinking it's this particular lady... pregnant again??!!!...

anyways, that's it for now. the motel's breakfast starts in 15 minutes... i need food!!!...

the story, morning glory

2007-05-25T03:57:00.000-05:00

well, well, well... looks who's up at 4 in the morning...

i woke up to go the bathroom & couldn't fall back to sleep. maybe because tummy is a bit hungry (am having a soya bean drink) or maybe because the enxiety on not starting packing for memorial day weekend trip. that's most probably it... i've procrastinated too long... (and still, instead of packing, i'm blogging!!!)...

alhamdulillah, pregnancy is going well. although body is aching more, i guess it's normal with the extra weight i'm carrying. my back, my legs hurts the most. i know i should have started an exercise routine earlier to prepare my body for the extra strain but sitting on the couch feels much better. and baby is moving much more and it's more intense. she's kicking my bladder often... that hurts too.

i took some pics of me with tummy weeks ago. only recently took and putting up an actual "photo with tummy" for all to see. a friend asked if i took pics each month to track, u know... to track development. ammmm... that would be a "no". felt like not wanting to jinx it i guess. or maybe, not wanting to be too confident... all cocky & happy, acting like it's a done deal when baby is not a comfirm. ur sssoooo pessimistic win!!!... lighten up!!!...

so, why did i took a "photo with tummy" and sharing it with all??... hehheh, i'm not that heartless. besides, it's only one picture taking session and i would like to have some kind of "photo with tummy" to remember this time in my life.

what the ell am i babling about??... so anyways, here's ME with the classic side pose!!!... is her butt bigger than her belly??... wah yes... it is!!!...

++++

also sharing some pics of our new mode of transportation. it's not "new" per say since we traded in our used mitsubishi for a used honda odyssey (oddysey??... haiya... can't even spell it right). we were just talking about getting a van but it was just talk since chot knows he married a worrier (and i worry about money all the time) he didn't want to give me enxiety by pushing the matter. BUT, it is the next logical thing to do, plus, with the prospect of chot's parents coming and staying for 6 months, it will just be impossible to cram everyone in a car.

still, i was not too hot on the idea. my main concern was how we'll manage coz the goal here is to get out of debt, not create more of it. plus, having more people in the household and providing for them... and still having 2 morgages to pay... gosh, i'm having trouble breathing!!!

then it happened...one day, we drove pass the honda dealership and saw a quite cheap van and one thing led to another. chot proposed a patch up plan (basically, work more hours to pay for the van. i pity him really, he comes home tired and then head straight to the computer to do more work. damn, i'm useless.)

so, no denying it... we're officially in the minivan group. anyways, here's last pics with the car and last day of driving the mitsubishi to work for chot. the car has been good to us. and last pic is of the van...

Salam Waterloo 3

2007-05-09T08:42:00.000-05:00

ok... pregnancy.

i'll be at 29 weeks this saturday... and will have +/- 3 more months to go. the due date is july 28. i've so far gained 24 lbs and weight 143 lbs. my tummy is bigger and instead of walking, i waddle like a penguin. mostly due to a tight and uncomfortable back. my tummy is out there and when i stand straight, i can't see my feet.

chot is sooooooo trying not to be uncomfortable with the current state of my tummy. he's still working on that coz i can still see some uneasiness in the way he acts around "it". he never just go and touch "it" willingly . on the rare occasions when he does, it seemed like he had to prepare himself before doing so. the act is a bit unnatural but at least he's trying.

when i ask if he want to feel the baby move, he'll give out his hand like "okey, here... where do i put it" and his hand will be a bit stiff. and like the baby knows too... she refuses to wiggle.

he does however at times, put his face close enough to "it" and says "assalamualiakum" and "hello bibi, wake up". he does make fun of himself at the fact that he's uneasy by pointing to my exposed tummy and saying stuff like "eeeeeee!!!... gross". well, that's chot for you.

and the biggest shocker was when he kissed "it". i was surprised when he did it the first time and even more surprised when he went and did it the second time.

++++

and on my end, it's funny coz half of the time, i forget that i'm pregnant. just 2 or 3 weeks ago someone asked "how far along are u??" and my mind was going "far along in what??"... only a couple of seconds later a light bulb lid up and i realized he was asking about my tummy. but i guess most ladies experienced the same thing, it's not like it's a constant conciousness... hehheh, then again what do i know.

but not to worry, i won't be some iron woman doing a triathlon. thanks to my body : )... coz it will tell me when it can't comply with what my mind wants it to do. and thanks to my baby too : ) kicking and squirming in there, reminding me of her existence.

++++

and of late, i'm beginning to have these enxieties. the "i can't escape now, now can i??" and, "what do i know about delivering a baby??" and, "why do i feel like impending doom is upon me??" kindda thing. basically, i'm getting the heebie jeebies. but i am trying to keep these enxieties under control coz i won't be doing myself any good wallowing in them.

++++

i was made a bit unsure by the number of people (and 2 midwives) telling me i look like i'm carrying a boy. but i'm going to stick with the ultrasound saying the baby is a girl. coz she did have her legs wide apart for all to see that day. i don't know when my next ultrasound will be or if there's any... but for now, we're having a girl.

and hopefully insyaallah, all will go well. i'd have chot snap a pic of me to put on the blog. insyaallah soon.

salam waterloo 2

2007-05-07T03:58:00.000-05:00

so it's close to 4 in the morning. i missed my sleep time and now am wide awake. i'll wait for subuh and go to sleep after.

i'm trying to think what else was memorable and worth mentioning of my malaysian trip.

oh yes, i met up with anis and adam in kl. jept left for tasmania earlier but the two of them were still in malaysia. they flew in from penang & me from jb. it's worth mentioning that Airasia messed up my ticket, saying i had to buy a new one since the first purchase was canceled. and whatdayaknow?? they charge me twice. and even when they can see they charged me an extra ticket, they weren't helpful in returning the money. asked me to provide proof, to fax the info to them. oh, and trying to get in touch with took forever, put me on hold for ages.

back to meeting anis & adam. adam looked the same just slimmer and more energetic. just looking at anis trying to handle (and wrangle) him made me tired. plus, he was a bit sick so that didn't help his tempraments. he loves to pull people's hair, he always did but maybe more forcefully and persistant.

he tried grabbing mine and became frustrated when i didn't let him. proceeded to release his frustration by biting my arm. and when he couldn't get my flesh between his teeth, he went for my nose. oh boy!!! he bit down hard and for a moment there, i thought he took a chuck off. he didn't BUT it sure felt like it... the pain!!!

ok, sleeply now and it's time for subuh. i'll babble some more later. i still have my pregnancy to tell about.

Salam Waterloo

2007-05-06T19:09:00.000-05:00

: )...

all is well... was intentionally not wanting to write a post. i guess there's soooo much to tell that i figured it'd be easier not telling them at all...

let see, trip & time in malaysia

i didn't enjoy the flight, i had pain in my back, siastica (or ciastica) pain they call it. it's something like pressure on a nerve.

i didn't enjoy being reminded of shortcomings of the institution that is "a family". being away from home for so long, i was a little off in my grasp of how eerrrmmm "unique" any (and my) family is and its members. and as quickly as i was thrown off balance with the situation, i quickly settled in... everything was familiar. every stinking little detail.

now, don't get the the wrong idea, i love my family dearly and since family consists of people and people are cooky and sometimes disappointing (right?? no one is perfect)... we don't have a choice but to just accept it... and them.

what the ell am i babbling about??... my point is, had good time with them and treasure the trip most definate. the experience was soooo "authentic".

i did enjoy spending time with my new niece. she's sooo cute even with all that baldness. her hair took so long to grow back after her mom and my dad shaved all her locks off. i am not prepared and will definately be freaked out the next time my sister sends me pics of husna with hair!!!

and husna has this serious expression she always gives us. she frowns a lot, her forehead all wrinkled up. she is so moody... just like her mom... even when she wants to pass wind she'd grumble. and such a light sleeper. and she thinks everyone that walks pass her is trying to play with her. which doesn't help when coupled with the light sleeper state because she'd wake up from sleep and in a few minutes, would start smiling.

i enjoyed spending time with my mom and misses her the most, the most-est... hehheh. bless her heart. she's a weeper and i take after her so at each point we had to part, even when i was only going to KL, she'd cry and then, i'd cry... i know, so sappy.

i did enjoy spending some quality time with my sister fatin. the last time i saw her, she was in that rebellious teenager stage. and now 19, she's a bit grown up. but she did get on my nerve with the constant texting (sms-ing). we'd share a room and at 3 in the morning, that damn phone would start buzzing. and the girl would actually get up and send a reply!!!...

and talking about texting, at the end of my stay, i was getting pretty good at it too. although i think my friend bai would beg to differ. she'd usually loses her patience waiting for my reply that she'd end up giving me a call.

i enjoyed meeting up with friends. this trip home, bai, neenie and apex put in the efford to meet up. bai came by to see me the most and apex offered her lovely home for a pot luck. and neenie send me off at the airport. lovely time, lovely friends. thanks u guys!!!

hhmmm... what else??...

oh, my sister's wedding. it went well for the most part. it could have been better but whose wedding is perfect??... unless ur dad is some big shot and could hire an army of people or like siti norhaliza, u have shah redza as a wedding planner (ehh, even then siti ended up wearing that power puff girl gown!!!)... back to my sister...

the most memorable and unbelievable incident, like the sooo unprofessional sound guy my parents hire. he forgot to come. and guess where he was with his family when my dad called from the wedding hall??... in Pangkor Island, frolicking in the sun.

and, the groom's mom not showing up. a bus did come (we did prepare ourselves this time : D) but since my sister's mom-in-law was a no show, the bus was only 1/3 full. probably the other 2/3 of people didn't see the point of coming when the groom's mom wasn't. i pity my new brother-in-law, he tried to explain his mom's absent as best as he can. like i said, families & their members... someone will spoil it at one point or another.

but all in all, the wedding went well. and it felt great being able to help out and participate. and, more pictures of my malaysian trip are at my photo album link.

ok then, i think i should continue my babbling some other time, chot is walking around in the kitchen, opening the fridge and stuff. and just now asked for tea. and he's so thoughtful, he took the initiative to boil water for me to make him tea : D...

and 15 minutes later, i'm still typing away, editing this post and he went and made his own drink!!!... : o... : D...

salam malaysia

2007-03-04T16:24:00.000-06:00

reporting, arrived safely in malaysia. my back is still hurting... started from sitting too long on the airplane. came to a point where i just can't bare it... looking at my watch and counting the minutes to touchdown in KL. this is craziness, will not do it again!!! (when will it be then the next time i go back alone with a pregnant belly anyways huh??)...

my malaysian food consumption hasn't been that rampant. some like the satay and nasi dagang fell below expectations. mainly due i think to me thinking about them too much back in the states, thus incidently elevating it's tastyness a few degrees. i mean, it's good but i just thought it should be better.

also maybe i didn't get my food at the right place...

i'm here now in JB... and yesterday we started doing the "bunga manggar"... my sister is very low on funds & only has a small budget to work with that the pressure to get stuff done (a certain pretty2/ particular way) is not there. basically, just do it as best as we can with what we already have. oh and yes, she is getting married to the guy with the amazingly bad family. the guy seems nice enough though...

well, will update when i can.

itching to blog

2007-02-20T08:27:00.000-06:00

i've been wanting to write stuff but due to poor time management & a flurry of activities, only manage to do so now.

OMAHA

it was such a great trip. i met kak ellie after so long & spend lots of time laughing & talking. we've haven't talked much even when she moved to the states but upon seeing her, it felt just like old times.

me and bai always crash at ellie's apartment in KL. and when bai "bertenet" with niza, ellie & i would often go do stuff together... maybe she felt sorry for me : )...

she's very sisterly, she's like a big sister i never had. a SAVIOR too, my knight-ess in shining armor : ) coz one time, she saved me from a pervert. this perv didn't want to let me go, pulling me up to his apartment. after ellie threatened him, he send me back down.

i didn't expect ellie could or would be physically forceful too... coz as soon as the guy got close enough to her, she punched him in the stomach, yup... she did. and as we drove away, i realized how weak and stupid and defenseless i am/ was and how very glad i am to have ellie there... i could have been victimized... the horror.

that was old times, she's happy... happier now in Omaha, with a kind husband and the darnest, smiliest cute cute baby boy. my weekend with her was spend eating lots and lots of food. she not only prepared every single meal but made desserts and snacks too.

i was sooo happy i got my "perut masak lemak cili padi" and my "nasi lemak sambal kerang" and enjoyed other stuff i didn't think of requesting. chot & i were like big happy piggies coz we rarely eat that much food. and because malay food is so rich in fat & oil & cholesterol, chot joked that he felt his life was shortened by 5 years being in Omaha for 2 days. but that didn't stop us from eating more of ellie's stuff in waterloo coz she packed us leftovers.

i took some pictures click here for pics of food and of jeffrey and us having a good time.

on our drive back, we passed a truck hauling lifestock... i took a picture.

ABNORMAL CELLS

wednesday Feb. 14, chot and i went to see my OB-gyn. remember i wrote about them finding abnormal cells from my pap smear?? well, my doctor took a closer look that day & plotted where the cells are... she said to the nurse "cells are at 3 o'clock, 6 o'clock... 9... 12 o'clock" and i thought to myself "that's like everywhere!!!". i went in kindda hoping the bad cells had miraculously dissapeared on their own... nope... no such luck.

she said that my abnormal cells are high grade ones. and left untreated most likely will progress into cancer. but since i'm pregnant, she can't treat me and any kind of treatment will have be be schedule 6 weeks after delivery. what is left is for us to monitor the progression and i will have to have a pap smear every 3 months.

the doctor said there is a chance the cell might go away on it's own after i give birth BUT she doesn't sound or look convincing.

and abnormal cells takes a few years to turn cancerous and since we detected them early, there's not much concern. BUT since i missed doing my pap smear last year, i wonder how long those cells have been festering inside of me and how long i have left before they turn really2 bad... aahhhh... the uncertainty... think positive win, think positive...

sigh... there's really nothing i can do about it, i'm not that worried. just hoping it'll be under control until i can have them zapped away with lasers... think positive... think positive...

GIVING ADVISE TO ALL LADIES THAT ARE READING THIS, GO DO YOUR PAP SMEAR EVERY YEAR... EVERY YEAR... better to detect & treat early before things get nasty.

MALAYSIA

if u get to reading this far into my looonngg post, you'll find out that i am heading for family time in malaysia. see, on our way to Omaha, i related to chot of me writing my birthday post for my sister & how I missed lots of important family stuff. how i kindda really feel i want to go home. so, we agreed we'd ask the doctor next time we see her, if it's ok for me to travel and all.

evidently the doctor said OK coz I AM leaving for malaysia on the 26th. actually, by the time we asked her, my urge to go home was not at all strong. even when she said yes, i was very iffy. so iffy in fact that i lost sleep thinking about it and was giving myself a headache and making myself more confuse.

little that i know, chot made it his mission. he called the travel agent as soon as we got home from the clinic. he said "i'm just looking around for a good price so when you do decide, i know what agent to call". but the next day at work, he went and bought the ticket. he knows and i know if it was left to me, i'll still be thinking and thinking and thinking.

SO, i will make it to Bobo, my 2nd sister's wedding March 10th. i'll get to see my parents and my other sisters and my little niece... my relatives... my friends. eat malaysian food & fulfill my dream of going to the "pasar malam".

i have a few more days left to pack & get stuff ready for chot. he'll be spending the 6 weeks apart by working like a dog. he needs to make up for the dent in our already tight expenditure from the purchase of my flight ticket & future spending in malaysia.

and trying not to be too useless in generating some spending money for myself, i plan to bring some handbags and wallets to sell in malaysia. i hope the stuff gets sold coz this little pregnant lady had the stuff hauled across oceans. anyone interested??... take a look here at the pictures of AUTHENTIC BRANDED HANDBAGS WITH REASONABLE PRICE. hehheh, i should try to advertise better huh??...

Happy Happy Birthday

2007-02-09T10:53:00.000-06:00

we're leaving for Omaha this evening & i haven't finished packing. but i am a bit of a procrastinator so i do have to be true to my nature : )...

thank you for the birthday wish people.

i'm writing this especially for my sister yohaniz (we call her dedek) coz it's her birthday too. she's 30 today and i'm exactly a year older. although i don't think she reads my blog but what the hell, it doesn't hurt to put my thoughts down.

her & i were born on the same day, a year apart. such good timing i have to say for my mom to hit the same date 2 year in a row. what's the probability of that i wonder??

but the similarity ends there. we look different, have different hair type, different look... different, different different. and we hate each other's guts growing up... actually, it's more of her hating mine & i just returned the compliment. she's a clean & neat freak even when we were little. if i accidentally touched her she'll start huffing and puffing, saying "jangan la sentuh, kau tak mandi lagi"... or something like that. what a quack...

: D... so we sisters never grew to liking each other. and never got a chance to get to really spending quality sister time & do whatever sisters do. then we went to different boarding schools, different universities and all that. started work at different malaysian states. only seeing each other when i go back for long holidays. then i got married & moved to the states... how far away can i go right??... doesn't help getting close to siblings that's for sure.

i wasn't there when she got married (i wanted to go back but with all the medical bills i inccured, i just can't make myself). so i missed that, missed her delivery of her first daughter, husna. missed visiting her when she was unwell. see, she recently had to have her left ovary removed due to a cyst that was growing on it. the thing twisted a few times causing her ovary & cyst combo to die. when the doctor cut her up, the thing was already rotting...

and knowing i'll be missing a lot more by living so far away from home. shucks!!! suddenly felt like hopping on a plane for a visit... if only it was that easy.

anyways, as we got older, we just kindda mellowed... we try to email once in a while and i talk to her sometimes on the phone. she sends me pictures of husna.

anyways, happy birthday dek... hope to see you soon.

right, can't think of a title

2007-02-08T13:59:00.000-06:00

it's 2 in the evening. been sitting in front of this computer since 9 am. my back is hurting from sitting too long but still, i am looking for something else to do that is computer related. that has been the case (ok, problem) lately.

my left side is hurting. it's the same pain i felt from my existing medical condition. maybe the cyst is trying to shrink, i dunno but the pain is at a level where i can't help but wince. hope it'll go away soon.

the pregnancy will be at 4 months this saturday, how time flies. my tummy is bigger and i have to stop describing it as a "buncit" coz it has cease to look like a big lunch. i pulled my sweater up to show chot my tummy and i guess it does look pregnant... coz the next thing he said was for me to please not scare him. my husband cringes at the sight of a pregnant belly. he sees one and think it's going to burst like a balloon. i'll report more on this as time progress.

i'll be 31 tomorrow. i'm ok with it (do i have a choice??) and don't feel like i need to sit down and reflect on my younger days : D... Last year was a different story all together, reaching three- zero was a bit of a doozy. i'd probably feel the same way when i get to four-zero, insyaallah.

we'd probably go out to a restaurant downtown. since we'll be driving to Omaha tomorrow, we'll have the birthday dinner today. that is if i don't change my mind... the weather is awfully cold nowadays and i just hate walking outside... torture!!!

and thank you for the well wishes from ezzel & redza. i don't think they read my blog apart from leaving their congratulatulations in the comment section. but if they do read this, thank again and no redza, sorry dude, no can do. maybe tuah or seri.

Bunch of pics

2007-02-01T12:57:00.000-06:00

pictures are uploaded to my photo album. click the link on the left bottom part of the blog.

pictures are from Adam's Birthday party & farewell, Jept & family final days in Peoria and us sending them at the airport.

and i like this picture the most, for the oh so obvious reason of being the last picture of all 5. i make it sound like we're not going to meet up ever... maybe not ever, but sure going to be a long while.

Oh Harry, how you've grown

2007-02-01T12:32:00.000-06:00

*WARNING* provoking pictures.

sorry then, by the time u see the warning sign, u've probably saw the pictures too... astagfirullah la banyak2 ye kawan2.

i was just doing my usual "wastetimeinthedaytime" reading news at yahoo and these pictures REALLY caught my eye. i don't think i can watch the next Harry Potter movie (or any harry potter movie for that matter) and not be reminded of how this boy has grown.

doodling

2007-01-31T09:05:00.000-06:00

today, waking up suddenly i felt like sushi. it's weird... not that i felt like sushi but weird that for a small town like waterloo, we do have a japanese place.

usually a town's diversity is on a scale of the existance of (1) a chinese place (2) an indian place (3) thai place (4) everything else. the more diverse, the more (1), (2)... then comes (3) & (4). but for waterloo, we jumped a few steps!!!

that one and only japanese place is the expensive sit down kind... maybe they have a lunch special huh??... hmmm interesting. anyways, the sushi place we like is in chicago, if only we lived closer to a diverse town like chicago... i'd be going to bed happy.

and, i want to mention, i've been thinking a lot about my grandmother's "botok2" (not to be confused with "otak2". though "otak2" sounds pretty yummy too). "botok2" is a johor thing i think coz i've never seen it anywhere else. it's fish in "ulam" gravy wrapped in more "ulam2an" and all is wrapped in banana leaves, then steamed. hard to find "ulam" too. my grandmother had them growing in her yard but after she passed away, no one dug them out & grow them at their place.

i remembered when my mak yah wanted to make some "botok2", she had to go on an "ulam" expedition into villages... asking if she can pick some leaves of some bush.

anyways, on a happier note, my friend ellie in Omaha offered to make me some "nasi lemak sambal kerang" AND "perut masak lemak cili padi"... so we'll be going to Omaha soon insyaallah. my friend mus in peoria also offered to make me stuff, I'll keep that in mind : ). she makes very good noodle dishes... maybe mee rebus (she calls it mee kuah keledek or something)... yummy.

hmmm... and i thought i wanted to write a post on a few topics but it's 100?% on food. hungry... hungry... hippo...

2007-01-29T14:24:00.000-06:00

hungryyyyy... want nasi lemak sambal kerang. i'd make some myself but i don't think i can stand frying the sambal, plus no kerang.

and i'm still thinking of my friend bai's mom's perut masak lemak cili padi. and paku pakis masak lemak...

nothing of my mom's yet... oh, oh... my dad's maggi goreng.

tired & out of breath

2007-01-26T10:36:00.000-06:00

been wanting to blog but after getting into town a couple of days ago, i have no energy to spare. even chot took a sick day... but unfortunately for him, his sick day involved removing snow from our long driveway.

jept, anis & adam are safely back in malaysia. jept will have an intense 3 weeks to enjoy home before starting work in Australia. before they left, chot helped them clear out their apartment. i tagged along, trying to keep adam out of trouble while anis did what she needed to do.

we left for chicago monday & had a wonderful dinner at an iranian restaurant downtown chicago. the food was so good, the company was even better. the next morning, we headed to O'hare early2 in the morning. we were in the morning rush but people on the roads were courteous enough.

chot commented "unlike a sale, they must not like going to work... they are all taking it easy". : ) as oppose to a certain "after thanksgiving sale" where people were sooo nasty.

anyways, we were at the airport until 10 am... we took pictures and said our goodbyes. hugs and pats on the back... but no crying. i bet if the goodbye session was a bit longer, we would see tears.

and then they went through the security check & that was it. walking back to the car was weird though, my legs & chest were a bit heavy... like "it finally happened, the end of all the fun times & good company with them". in the car, chot said "dah takde dah, dah takde kawan". i wonder when will we see them again...

++++

on a totally different note... i got two not so good phone calls from the ob-gyn office. on my last check up, they did tests and before we left, the doctor said "if you don't hear anything from us, that means test results came back ok". so my heart skipped a little when i got a call from them.

the nurse said there's abnormal cells from the pap smear. & the next time i come in, they'll do a colposcopy (i think that's what she said). basically, the doctor will look at me under a microscope, a closer look, more tests to see what kind of abnormal cells i have. i'm thinking it's no big deal, they didn't want to see me earlier, just to come in on the same date in february. i read on the internet, some kind of cells developed into cancer but if those are the cells i have, it won't happen in 2 to 3 years... that is if untreated. anyways, i'm trying not to worry.

and then the next day, i got another call from the nurse... "hi darwina, this is carrie..." and i went "oh, great...". the result of the urine test says i have bacteria in my pee & i need to take antibiotic... easy enough. i didn't get a call from them regarding my blood test, so i'm assuming that one went well...

and that's the news so far. my tummy wants food so i'll respond to comments after. oh, and also i have tons of pictures to upload...

look what i got!!!

2007-01-18T10:21:00.000-06:00

love you!!! a big thanks... no, a HUGE thank you to marina for thinking about me and sending a little care package of raya cookies. also thank you to Aida for having to bring these from malaysia (i assume) & mailing it to me from Sacramento.

you are such a dear, my dear... i feel so honored, warm and fuzzy inside & been smiling since yesterday. sad to say, even my own parents never sends me anything.

and at a time when i've been thinking about malaysian food (a lot... A LOT. ehem, even dreaming of going to the "pasar malam") & not being able to get my hands on any, came this ohhh soooo wonderfuuullll surprise.

thank you so much for being sooooo thoughtful to little ol' me. I will enjoy every single bite!!!...

++++

the story of us : )

we were roomies for quite a long time in MCC. but towards the end, we got into a bit of a bad period. we'd ingore & didn't speak to each other. and since i was always in our room, she had to roam around to avoid me, to the point of camping out at other rooms. it was definately worst for her. and for the likes of me, i can't remember what started the whole mess.

but we've said our sorries & am glad we're good friends again.

in MCC, she's the first one who told me about chot. and even showed me who the guy was (but it was dark though & i can't make out his face). apparently he had a bit of a reputation & marina, coming back to our room from her many gossip sessions was in disbelief when she found out i didn't know who this guy was. yeah... i don't get out much.

marina loves her music & she has drawers and drawers full of cassettes (yup!!!... we're from that era). everytime going to kuantan, she'd always has some cassette to get, the shop owner LOVES her. she very chatty & very bubbly & loves her lipsticks & her shoes : )... and would be constantly writing something on her apple. the handful of people there with an apple. she's very talented, she'd share poems she wrote, lovey ones, and funny ones, and angry ones. i was amazed since i can't write a poem to save my life : D...

the new marina is a new mother and doing very well in advancing herself, going her masters and all. and she has a lovely blog... do go and visit & say hi http://marinadelrey.blogspot.com/

Ika

2007-01-18T09:46:00.000-06:00

i have these pictures of Ika that's just laying around... might as well share them. her hobbies are... playing under the sink, playing "masak2" and playing with her food. and looking adorable while doing all of it!!!...

We'll definately miss u

2007-01-17T09:18:00.000-06:00

adam said "what??... we're moving??... AUSTRALIA??!!!"

and so the time is finally here to say our goodbyes. it sucks seeing friends move... suckier when they move to a different continent (australia is a continent right people??). we can't just get in the car & drive.

i know i'll miss adam... i'll miss his antics... how he stares at vitrually everyone & then smiles his smile. i'll miss his cheeks, his dimples and i'll most definately miss hugging that ohhh sooo firm body.

i'll miss anis & jept's company for sure. we had good times travelling, camping, talking. i'll miss their efficiency when we travel, they are a pillar of light & hope when we go camping. when we get together and talk, jept & chot would sometime start yapping about old times and old flames... but mostly of old times. and we'd talk about anything and everything.

but i do wish i'd spend more time with anis, we could probably talk about a million things but since i'm a bit slow at making conversations, it doesn't help. Though i noticed we have a thing in common like having problems calling people, i'm more severe in that department, i have to admit. maybe because we don't really like to talk nonsense.

++++

i knew jept at the same time i knew chot... around june or july 1998. they came to memphis for a friend's wedding. i took them around town and later chot & i became an item. jept & chot been good buddies since after SPM. and jept remembers fondly when they would go back to gombak & gobbled down my MIL's cooking. and they'd do what boys do... you know... video games : )... i know for a fact, chot will miss jept's company & i'm not wrong when i say vice versa.

i first met anis around december 2000. anis came to peoria & i was visiting from malaysia with chot's parents. anis & jept were just starting to know each other. but during that time, chot & i had a few issues & we were working stuff out so anis & i didn't get a chance to socialize. not until chot & i got married & i moved here.

++++

we will insyaallah send them at the chicago airport, chot wants to see. though i'm a bit apprehensive because i know i''ll be sad to a point of crying...

ahhem... ahhem... i may look tough but we ladies from my mother's side were born with the uncanny ability to shed tears at the slightest display of sadness (or happiness for that matter). we'd even cry watching critical tv drama moments. my father would wait until the scene was over and turn to see our faces... and then make jokes & laugh at how silly we looked... a family tradition.

and throughout the years, i did train myself to hold my emotions inside when faced with these moments... i'd be a bit chocked up inside but no tears.

sooo... i'll report on the outcome from the airport then later!!!...

here a a few pictures with them. we'll miss you guys most, most definately & have a good life in Australia...

ultrasound

2007-01-17T09:06:00.000-06:00

so, i do have the software in the computer, just didn't know where to look for it. when chot got home last night & upon hearing me complain, he clicked the mouse here and there & voila!!!... a bit crooked. the second pic was my going, taking a picture of a picture with shaky hands.

and alhamdulillah, blogger lets me upload them.

wind of change

2007-01-16T08:54:00.000-06:00

it felt like ages!!!... been wanting to write and update the blog, been collecting and arranging stories in my head lately on stuff i want to share, taking pictures and all... but to no avail. at least until today!!! yeay!!!...

hopefully, today will be the beginning of sense & nonsense of daily blog writing, amin.

i kindda had an idea of stuff to write but as soon as i logged on to blogger, the lady from the Ob-gyn clinic called to reschedule my ultrasound... sending my into a state of mild frenzy.

++++

ultrasound?? why do i need an ultrasound??... weeeellllllllll, the thing is, i am a bit pregnant. about 12 weeks 3 days pregnant, alhamdulillah.

we found out 2 days before my period was suppose to come. Chot was talking about going to Orlando for december holidays. he hasn't been to Disney world & we were thinking might as well. since it is still the two of us, easier to explore every nook & cranny of the place.

so before we went & booked all stuff that needed booking, we wanted to make sure. I did the home pregnancy test to double check what i was sooooo sure i knew i wasn't... waiting for the "not pregnant" sign to appear. but boy, oh boy... i was sure in for a shock!!!...

so there i was, in shock, my heart beating quite fast and was starting to cry a bit. which is a bit funny because the next thing i did was to find chot and shoved the stick at him. it's funny because i had this surprise plan carefully thought out. i got this "congrats/ we're pregnant" card eons ago. the plan was to send him the card at work... buuutttt... it took me about 10 seconds to tell him the news, so my whole surprise plan went out the window.

the rest of the day that day, everytime i went into the bathroom, i would glance at the test result that was sitting pretty on the counter... checking if it might change to "not pregnant". mana la tau dok??? but it didn't... and when i actually missed my period, i went and did another test. and left the stick on the counter and did the same glance thing.

++++

future grandparents weren't as happy as we thought they might be or even convinced when we told them. my mom was like "oh ok, alhamdulillah, da da da, goodbye". maybe because it was still early in the morning when i called. and also maybe because she wasn't getting enough sleep on account of Husna, the first ever grandchild not wanting to sleep at night. (i'll tell about husna soon, and how she changed her parents, my parents and sisters' lifes, and how she's oh sooo cute)

and then there's chot's parents. they were insisting on us going to the doctors like... yesterday. not like we can... when i called the clinic, they schedule me to come in at 8 weeks. and even then, they didn't do any blood test or urine test... just said "congratulations" and asked a bunch of questions.

chot was getting a bit bothered at them, having to explain how accurate the home pregnancy tests are... 99.9% accurate. and how the test worked and this and that. but all they were asking "dah pi clinic??" and "bila nak pi clinic??"

++++

at 8 weeks, we went to the clinic. didn't see the doctor, just the nurse. but talking with friends, their experiences involved some form of testing. but none for me though, which was a bit of a bummer. i wanted them to confirm i was really, really pregnant. but i guess they did things differently in Iowa.

not until i related to her of pains i was having around the lower abdomen, where the cysts are located did she schedule an ultrasound.

i'm not gonna lie. i went into the utlrasound thinking about seeing the fetus more then seeing how the cysts were doing. my first question to the lady was "so?... can u see the baby??"... and that was the first thing she did for me. and i got a bonus, when we (chot was there too) heard the heart beat. IT WAS SOOOOO AMAZING!!!... it went "wooshooo, wooshoo, wooshoo" very fast. well, that confirms it!!!...

yesterday was the 12 week visit. i saw the doctor. a nice enough lady. my old doctor at the clicic moved so i got another one. they took my urine, my blood (god!!! 3 viles worth of blood) and she did a pap smear, checked my boobs... that kind of thing. and i'm wondering how far did she put her hands up my... oh you know where... coz i'm still cramping a bit.

and today, i have to go in again for an ultrasound. usually they don't do an ultrasound until the 20th week but they want to make sure since i have a history of abnormalities. and i kept on thinking of the cysts giving me pain when really, that might not be the case. what is most probably happening is the stretching of the endo scar.

++++

anywhoo... just came back from the clinic & ultrasound went well. since we can't see scars on an ultrasound, they can't really comment on the endo scar, unless there's blood in the scar... which i have one of. that cyst and another cyst (the called it a simple cyst) are getting smaller in size.

and most importantly, baby looks good & as soon as the lady put the thing on my tummy, we saw the baby kick. i have ultrasound pictures and i feel stupid taking a picture of a picture but chot didn't installed software for me to scan & safe pics to the computer... so here it is...

rats!!!... nope, sorry... blogger won't let me upload pics. do i need to change to the new & improve version in order to upload pics with ease??...

++++

anyways, most2 importantly i want to say, we are so very thankful to Allah for giving us this gift & we pray we get to keep this gift, to have and to love until our dying days. may we live long lives together & enjoy each other. may our child be healthy, and normal & smart. most importantly, soleh, praying for our souls when we are no more.

this has been a wonderful journey so far, and i feel somewhat in a dream and i catch myself touching my tummy to make sure if it's real... alhamdulillah, allahhuaakhbar.

old stories

2006-12-05T11:29:00.000-06:00

it's been what??... two weeks since i last blogged??... I'm sooo very lazy. but today, felt a little urge to blog, lets see how long i can last heh??...

i had my heart's content of japanese food that thanksgiving weekend. YUM-MYYY. it's a pretty good buffet place, we love it : ). i was stuffing and shoving sushi like there's no tomorrow. i wish i had a bigger stomach (or a second stomach is a cool idea too) coz the urge to eat more was there, but just couldn't swallow any more. ahhhh... what gluttony... and the perils we put our digestive system in the name of food.

the midnight sale was a total disaster!!!... if ever u plan of going next year, DON'T!!!!! at least, don't go to the one in Aurora, Chicago (yes dort, we went to that particular one). We didn't think the whole of chicago were going too!!!...

we headed there around 10:30pm. and by the time chot got a parking spot, it was already close to 3:30am... yeah, we could easily have driven back to waterloo in that amount of time!!!chot was becoming impatient, who wouldn't?? it took us 3 + hours to go 3 miles to get to the exit. we had cars trying to cut into the exit lane on our left, we had people going on the service lane and trying to cut into the exit lane on our right. we had an angry lady, angry at people going on the service lane... got out from the passenger side and stood in the middle of the service lane!!!... she however lost to another angry lady, cursing and shouting for her to get the *uck out of the way. pretty nasty.

we had a car broke down... and how stupid the driver and passengers were, when they just sat there without pushing their car out of the way. anyways, when the outlet was close enough, we decided that i should just walk there. there were others who had abandoned their sorry drivers and opted to just walk.

so there i was, walked through bushes and jumped a fence!!!... how exhilarating since i couldn't remember the last time i did that, also felt like i was breaking the law... i think i did!!! anyways, the plan was to go straight to the coach store. but to my surprise, the was a very, very longggggggg line. people were lining up just to get a chance to go into the damn store!!!... and did i tell u guys, it was a cold night??... yup, what craziness!!!... by the time chot finally got a parking spot, he was ready to go back. we did go into a few shops that didn't have quite a long line but chot was just not in the mood to look and try stuff for size.

we got back to the hotel room at around 5:30 am... what a waste of time really. we could have instead had a nice time sleeping : D...

after we woke up, we got ready to go the the outlet at kenosha. now that was a pleasant trip. the weather was nice, no long line : D... got a few stuff for myself... chot got A LOT of stuff for himself... stuff we don't need. also a few last remaining stuff for my sister's wedding.

after kenosha, we went to gurney mills. but our feet were starting to ache. and i know chot had reached his limit when he doesn't want to go into any more stores. he said all he needed was a short nap and after that needed nap, go to ikea. said it's better to go friday night and not be bothered with the weekend crowd. BUT his nap went all the way to 4 in the morning!!!... there goes the whole "missing the weekend crowd"...

headed to peoria saturday night and stayed with jept, anis and adam. sunday, left for waterloo, but that's without forgetting to stop by the outlets in williamsburg, iowa. all in all, a total of 4 outlet malls!!! it was a good trip i think.

but i do have a few stuff to return since some i bought on impulse :D... chot seemed happy with his purchases and wore his new timberland shoes to work that monday. and his new columbia fleece a few days after...

and since that weekend, we just stayed in town. chot tried to manage as much overtime as he can. as to make the dent we made shopping seem less noticeable.

Happy Shopping!!!

2006-11-22T19:37:00.000-06:00

tomorrow is thanksgiving and it'll be a long weekend for us here. but to others (or is it all??) the day after thanksgiving is the event to look forward to... AFTER THNAKSGIVING SALE or BLACK FRIDAY. usually everyone will be getting ready early-early-early in the morning in front of stores, to get the best deal they can get their hands on. this one outlet mall is opening it's doors midnight even!!!... MIDNIGHT MADNESS they call it, yeah!!! totally crazy... but comparing to the day before raya at Jalan Masjid India, i think it is about the same crazy buying, shoving madness... yeah... crazy...

we... ehhmmm... "small fishs" aka "thin wallet" people are joining in the events too, doing some small time shopping & finding good deals... buying pretty stuff we don't need : )...

we will be leaving for chicago tomorrow and staying until Saturday. AND, i am really looking forward to the food... especially Todai, a Japanese buffet place we adore.

ok then people, have a good weekend... we will try to have a good one too : )

: )

2006-11-15T15:03:00.000-06:00

it's been quite a long time since i last wrote something, so i feel replying to each and every comments in my last 2 posts will be way too... in the past. TQ for the insight and advise u guys!!!...

i talked to my mom last week and she still a bit pissed... what can i say, old people... when they have a (sort of a ) grudge tends to keep the feelings linger. i relay to her that part about the engagement ring and part of the "duit hantaran" were put on a kitchen plate and she went into story telling/ "mengumpat" mode.

she said "Ya Allah... da... da... da...", "da... da... da..." and more "da... da... da..."... and then said "mama tau pinggan tu, mama pun ada satu kat dapur. tu pinggan dapat free bila beli colgate"... Now, that's funny!!!

and i did think i over reacted a little bit. no marriage is easy so maybe this is my sisters part of the deal. my parents have no issues with the future son-in-law, so that is somewhat good. someone commented i should put a stop to the marriage, i don't think i dare interfere to that level. we did tell her of our feelings and made known our requests (ok... demands) come the nikah time. she & future hubby understood & up to them to be diplomats between the two sides. she said thank you to my folks, i guess for putting with all the BS.

i on the other hand, have not called her since that time i babeled on the phone to her. i did emailed but she hasn't replied. i should engage her in some kind of interaction but it's easier isn't it to run away from saying the hard things??... especially when u live on the other side of the world. i will make my peace, i think i'll write her a letter (damn it, just call her already!!!)

anyways... moving on. what have i been doing, being so quiet without a post to my blog??... well, we had guests that first weekend in Nov. Audra's family came from malaysia and she was taking them to Minneapolis. So, they stayed at our place and made a day trip to the outlets and Mall of America.

we also went to minneapolis with them but our destination was Ikea (as always). i had the brilliant idea of adding more cabinets in the kitchen. rented a van but it was a bit broken. the door became jammed so there we were, 3 engineers and 1 housewife trying to "make" the door close. freezing our butts off in the parking lot. we called for help and help came, the door closed but not without leaving us with about 3 hours wasted. but this being America, all we had to do was call and complain. we got 50 bucks coupon on our next rental.

last weekend, did nothing. lazied around the house. both didn't shower from the time we woke up saturday morning. come sunday evening, we were ripe!!!...

anyways, have pictures of the Hari Raya in Peoria. Click here. the top i wore was given to me by my MIL more then a year ago. but those butterflytailundersleevething kept getting into food. and... I LOVE ADAM. chot's shirt was also courtesy of MIL, i realized i should have washed it before wearing, it was a bit stiff and somewhat rode up, making chot's short neck looked even shorter.

so have a good weekend u guys!!!...

tak sedap hati nie

2006-11-02T14:43:00.000-06:00

sebelum win masuk bab cerita pasal kenapa win tak sedap hati, nak umumkan yang adik win yohaniz dah selamat lahirkan anak isnin 30 Oktober. cucu & anak sedara no. 1 utk kitaorg. Namanye Nurhusna Imani bt. Mohd. Rafizal. Agak panjang tapi takpe la, anak diaorg... suka hati la nak taruk apa pun. Panggilnye Husna... win suka, bunyi comel.

pergi pulak bab adik win farahanim aka bobo. majlis tunang selamat & selesai Sabtu 28hb. Tapi ada beberapa isu yang buat mak & abah (& lepas mak cerita kat win)... win tak berapa puashati. abah bising & mak terkilan, & win susah hati memikirkan... ada ke kitaorang anak beranak "over"??

tapi bila bercakap ngan bobo, dia tak rasa apa yang jadik tu isu yang perlu di pikirkan.

majlisnye jadik kelam-kabut sebab lepas mak tanya bakal besan berapa ramai nak datang sebab nak sediakan makan dll, yang munculnye 2 kali ganda. semua sebelah famili win terkedu & terkejut besar sebab katanye dalam 40 orang tapi yang datang satu bas kilang + 4 buah kereta... dua kali ganda. macamana jadik macam nie tak berapa pasti lagi. tapi mak kata dia rasa macam kena tipu sebab dia bercakap & bertanya dengan mak pihak lelaki sendiri.

siapa yang aturkan bab bas kilang pergi dari Felda 1, ke Felda 2, ke Felda 3 & Felda 4 ambik orang kitaorg tak tau. kitaorang tak tau semua tu saudara-mara, kenalan atau orang yang pihak lelaki tak kenal langsung. tak kisah lah siapa diaorang kepada pihak lelaki, cuma kata lain & jadiknye lain. kalau korang, tengok orang turun satu2 dari bas and jalan ke arah rumah korang, masuk rumah tak henti2... macamana reaksi korang?? mak win terkedu sangat, sampai kepala dia pusing, tak berani bangun takut2 pengsan.

win kata ngan mak yang kot ada jiran2 dia yang buat keputusan nak angkut orang & mak ayah pihak lelaki tak dapat kawal. tapi lepas cakap ngan mak, win telefon bobo & dia kata mak pihak lelaki maksudkan 40 orang dewasa... budak2 tak masuk kiraan... tapiiii mak kata, mak pihak lelaki sendiri kata ngan dia berulang2 kali yang tak ramai yang akan datang, cuma 30 ke 40 orang sebab saudara-mara dah takde kat kampung. dia kata jugak rumah kitaorg kecik, tak muat kalau bawak orang ramai2.

jadik bayangkan keadaan rumah yang penuh dengan orang (dalam & luar). nak buat perkara lebih haru-biru, hujan pulak hari tu. wakil pihak lelaki & pihak perempuan yang nak bercakap dah duduk macam kadi & pengantin lelaki nak lafaz akad. makanan tak cukup, sampai orang rumah hanya makan kuah kari & lebih2 roti jala. pulak ada yang tak malu mintak bekas nak bekal makanan & dengan mak win tengah terpinga2 & masih tergamam tengok orang tu bekal makanan, orang tu takde pun segan silu kata minta maaf ke apa, kata terpaksa ambik bekal sikit untuk anak2 & cucu2 utk makan dalam bas. tak... ambik bekal pas tu pusing & pergi.

pulak beramai2 mintak air panas untuk nak buat susu anak, segala air manis yang ada di tuang dalam botol2 susu. nie perkara normal ke untuk orang2 dari Felda?? bukan tanya sinis, cukup ikhlas soalan win sebab kitaorg tak tau apa nak pikir??

bobo terangkan, kata diaorang nak memeriahkan keadaan. tapi bukan caranye macam nie. nak meriahkan keadaan tapi pada kita, majlis rasmi kami cacat... tak terlintas ke kat fikiran mereka?? siapa yang buat keputusan angkut orang beramai2 tu betul tak patut...

untuk win, dengar cerita pun macam tak percaya... macamana boleh jadik macam nie? kenapa orang2 nie takde segan silu, takde sopan santun. tak sedap hati nak lepaskan adik win pergi, utk kawin and pergi ke komuniti yang macam nie. iye lah, dia nak kawin budak lelaki tu, bukan mak dia ke, ayah dia ke... komuniti dia tapi... iisssshhh...

pas tu masuk bab hantaran & rupanye. punya kecik hati mak win bila tengok hantaran yang diaorang bawak. iya lah orang miskin tapi ada beza kan dari "spending for it and preparing for it??... preparing it to look presentable and nice does not require money. it doesn't take much right?? to present stuff nicely??... to not buy the small or smallest sized fruits & cake and stuff, to just wrap it up in paper. yes i know... it is just fruits and cake but that's just it!!!... it is just fruits and cake!!!... it doesn't cost but a few extra ringgit to have nice ones... is it too much of an effort for my sister.

it stings for i know my sister was racking her brain, saving & working, tying her stomach for the "hantaran"... and to get what she got as a return is so sad. and the bad thing is, she doesn't seem to mind... or maybe trying not to mind, i dunno.

she kept on saying, "diaorang orang miskin, diaorang orang miskin"... so what thry are poor??... does it make what they did OK??

and then as my sister was trying to explain and give a reason behind every single unpleasant issue to me, she told me of something my mother did not. she said "& pasal cincin & (part of) duit hantaran tu, makcik X tak sempat. jadik dia ambik jek pinggan kat dapur..." what???... pinggan??... pinggan makan??... u have got to be kidding!!?? my eyes nearly came out of it's socket.

i told bobo... actually i don't really remember what i told her, half of the time, i was just babling and trying to contain myself. i was and still am sad... still very much disappointed...

don't get me wrong. we're not snobs... we know we're not rich people, we have our shortcomings. and we don't mind if our daughter/ sister is marring into a poor family... we sooooo don't mind. BUT we do mind common sense and common courtesy.

as of yet, just the future son-in-law said "minta maaf kalau ada terlebih & terkurang"... but not a single call to my mom from his mom saying whatever she should be saying. even if she's not behind the whole thing of the bus load of people & how badly they behaved, the least she could do is call... common courtesy...

and i feel bad because i made my sister feel bad when i called her. oh, i feel i am over reacting... but i do feel uneasy and quite worried. i feel like plucking my sister and putting her in a different place... i want to save her... i want to tell her 27 years old is not old, she doesn't have to marry the first guy that asks her. value herself enough to not just swallow everything... & ur not even married.

also, i want to tell her that when she does marry, she has to learn to draw the line, to know when enough is enough in helping to provide. to know when to stop giving to others and instead give to her. it is not ok to keep on saying "takpe"... "takpe"... "takpe"...

i am over reacting... the guy might well be nice and loving and caring and considerate towards my sister. my sister is not perfect i know, she has he flaws, she makes mistakes. i am telling myself that he is not a reflection of his family & his community... no... i am hoping he is not a reflection of them.

i am sooo worried...

(and sorry for the inconsistency in language... when i am flooded with emotions, i tend to abandon malay...)

Nice sunny day

2006-10-24T10:34:00.000-05:00

Nice sunny day today with current temp. in the lower 40's. i feel cheerful enough to write a blog : )...

Eid was yesterday (Monday the 23rd) for us in Waterloo... we fasted for 30 days and friends in Peoria fasted for 29 days... not complaining really, what is a day or two of fasting. Just hoping muslim communities in the US could come to an agreement so all can fast and celebrate Eid on the same day. But it's an impossible request for this has always been the case year after year. No harm done... just that it would be nice.

Regardless what day Eid falls on, I didn't acknowlegde it much. Didn't dress up or make anything special for Chot. He had to make his own coffee and rummage for breakfast. He then went to the masjid for Eid prayer while I continued sleeping. He took half day off, going to work at 12 noon.

I heated up last night's soto for him for lunch. Pretty pathetic... i know. And adding to the pathetic-ness of the special day, I had him go pick up chinese food for Eid dinner.

He says he doesn't mind but it would be nice to make it somewhat stand out than regular days, a little special.

: )... to my defence. I was sick... actually we both were under the weather, with fever, runny nose and sore throat. I slept the whole day but chot had to press on and work, even came home late... close to 8 at night.

He even went to work for a few hours Eid-eve (any such word??... but u guys know what i mean). Such a trooper right?? If i were his boss, I'd give him a promotion!!!...

++++

Last weekend, we had guests. Anis called telling of their plan to come and visit. Luckily, I cleaned the house just for the heck of it days before. They arrived Friday night and Anis tried my attempt at making Mee Rebus. A bit hot but pretty decent i think, my cousin's recipe. Thank you Kak Teh for the recipe, I don't know and don't have "tepung attar"... what is it anyways??...

My friend lin went to JB and hanged out at this place where there's a famous Mee Rebus stall... propelling me to make my own because I missed it so much. She made me miss home too... bad lin!!!...

And the last day of fasting, I was inspired to make Soto. My mom always make Soto on the 2nd day of Eid. Although mine was much less in the degree of taste and is not complete. I was short of spices & other ingredients making it more of chicken soup and less of Soto. Nonetheless, my guests and my husband ate with no complains.

We snapped some pictures... they are primarily of Adam. I kept saying "aunty win tak tahan tengok adam!!!"... he is adorable with those cheeks and dimples and trying to outsmart the camera flash by squinting... over and over again.

They left for Peoria Sunday night and unfortunately had an accident. Anis called me close to midnight asking me to find the number for Honda roadside assistance. I asked if their car broke down, then Anis gave me quite a shock. She told me THEY HIT A DEER!!!

I didn't think I panicked but guess i did. I went straight to wake chot up and made him literally jumped up in bed. He asked me the details... but was a bit "kelam- kabut" and said i don't know shit, didn't ask Anis anything.

I got the full story from Anis yesterday. I wanted to call her and ask how things were but 1) i didn't want to bother... it being Eid and her having to make arrangements for the car, and 2) i was so groggy from all the drugs i took.

Anis reported that they were fine. No one was hurt (even the deer continued it's journey into the forest). Anis said the dear was big, it's back was higher than front of their Honda Element... Now, that's huge... no wonder their front hood was literally smacked open and still the deer was able to walk away... disappearing into the night.

Most importantly, and thank to Allah, no one was hurt... just the Element Anis bought brand new. Owch...

(Hehheh, Anis said the policeman told them it's the deer's mating season... damn horny deers : O... )

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

2006-10-17T09:33:00.000-05:00

Selamat Hari Raya, minta maaf mana yang silap.

Raya kat tempat orang tak sedap langsung. Setakat nie, takde rasa nak beraya, malap & mendung macam cuaca kat luar.

Adik win pernah hantar kaset raya, masih dalam sampul plastiknye. Takut nak pasang sebab nanti sedih.

Nanti cerita2 lagi... bila duduk lama2 dalam bilik computer nie, jari2 jadi biru. Cuaca dah sejuk, dah turun salji dah pun sekali. Rumah tua nie banyak masalahnye, banyak lubang dan segala macam kekurangan. Harga gas makin lama makin tinggi, naik cepat, turun lambat.

So, Selamat Hari Raya, bawak kereta baik2, biar bawak lambat tapi selamat sampai destinasi. Dan jauhkan kereta anda dari pemandu2 gila. Jangan main mercun, meriam buluh, meriam bola, paip, tin & seangkatan dengannye. Jangan jual mercun, nanti polis tangkap.

good morning!

2006-10-04T11:36:00.000-05:00

there must be a rule somewhere, not letting me put up new pictures in older posts. i wanted to put these pictures... one, of Harris' uniquely angled almond shaped eyes & a picture of my dad in my post about him.

i CAN however post the pics in a new entry & that's what i will do.

the picture of my dad was taken on my sister yohaniz's wedding Dec, 2005. chot & i haven't seen our family for ages and rarely get pictures from home. so on the times that we do, we're always taken aback at images of our aging folks.

but it's funny though... coz even with these pictures of our gray haired moms & dads, the images that's forever planted in our minds are of a younger them, those times when we were still living in malaysia, when we spend time with them the most.
++++

i want to tell a story about my dad and his thick moustache.

chot is a pretty chatty person u see, very friendly, very social. so when he was to meet my dad for the first time, i was confident he will be able to strike a conversation, win my dad's heart... that sort of thing.

but to my surprise, chot went dead quiet. the initial hello... yes, but then he just sat there... silent. with occasional awkward grins, he was like a timid little mouse.

he later told me of that first encounter. of my dad and his thick moustache. coupled with the fact of him being a seasoned policeman made chot very2 uneasy... and a little afraid. my dad is also not a talker... doesn't help... pity chot.

in actuality, abah is quite a nice man.

masin mulut ku

2006-09-29T11:58:00.000-05:00

baru jek cakap... walaupun kita pemandu yang bagus, tapi kadang2 ada la pulak orang b.o.d.o.h kasi kita susah.

abah win seorang pemandu yang bagus. selama hidup dia cuma sekali dia silap & terlanggar budak sekolah yang tengah lintas jalan. budak tu ok sebab abah sempat elak sebanyak yang mungkin. tapi rasanye dia trauma sampai sekarang. 2 kali yang lain, orang lain salah.

semalam, abah win tengah elok2 duduk dalam kereta kat tempat letak kereta surau. sementara tunggu mak habis tadarus, dia baring sat. datang lori tong gas langgar kereta kancil yang baru umurnye 10 bulan. abah win alhamdulillah selamat, alhamdulillah!!! syukurnye kepada Allah. cuma luka kat ibu jari kaki terkena kaca. abah tak terkejut & terkedu dari cerita mak, alhamdulillah sebab jantung dia tu dah tak kuat.

yang buat darah win menggelegak sangat2, orang yang bawak lori tu TAKDE LESEN.

mak cerita kat win man-man & ada lawak jenaka. taknak win melenting atau terkejut (rasanye la). iye la kut, dah win kata SAMAN, SAMAN, SAMAN. dia kata tuan punya lori tu baik orangnye. dia takde kat kedai & cuma tinggal isteri dia yang kecik molek. pekerja dia yang besar bagak degil & tak reti ikut kata. dia dah suruh hantar tong gas pakai motor tapi dia pi bawak lori.

tuan punya tu kata jugak yang ada baiknye si pekerja dia tu terlanggar kereta abah sebab dia memang tengah nak cari cikgu mengaji untuk isteri & anak2 dia (mak win ajar mengaji). eemmm... tadi masa mak cerita bab yang nie, tak bunyi aneh, tapi sekarang bila win cerita balik... sungguh "twisted"... abah win tak perlu kena langgar untuk orang tu jumpa cikgu mengaji... tapi nak sedapkan cerita & kasi kesudahan yang bermakna, boleh la...

takde buat aduan polis & mak kata dah selesai. kereta akan dihantar ke kedai & orang tu bayar semua... mak kata yang paling penting, abah ok. pasal kereta rosak atau kecuaian orang lain tu no.2... baiknye la mak abah ku.

++++

nie bukan kali pertama abah susah sebab kecuaian orang lain. sebelum episod yang nie, abah kena langgar jugak. pemuda cina mabuk, datang dari arah bertentangan masuk lorong abah... "head on collision". kereta adik win remuk habis, lemah lutut semua orang bila tengok keadaan kereta & membayangkan abah ada dalam kereta tu. tapi alhamdulillah abah takde apa2 cuma lebam2 & luka sikit.

mak cerita dia buat berlawak kat orang2 kat rumah. dia kata "abah terror la, dua kali accident tapi takde apa2... kebal...". tapi adik2 win tak gelak, tanya mak tak sayang abah ke? & suruh mak jangan kata macam tu.

dia cerita dia berlawak ngan abah & abah kata "kot kali ke 3 baru... dot... dot... dot...". mak cepat2 tarik balik & kata dia main2 jek. rasanye dia cuba nak ceriakan keadaan.

dan... takde kena mengena dengan masin mulut win, dah benda nak jadik. Tapi win berdoa yang Allah berikan abah perlindungan dari semua keburukan, juga untuk semua ahli keluarga win... dan juga untuk win & chot, perkenankanlah doa ku ya Allah, amin.

just call me lazy

2006-09-28T11:37:00.000-05:00

i've been neglecting my blog... and replying emails... and most of my official housewife duties... so, what else is new huh?? : )...

some stories to tell today. spoiled my dream of a full month of fasting, not by choice of course. that's right folks, finally got my period after close to 10 months.

reporting (1) it is much2 less in the degree of pain, only needed minimal amount of pain medication. i am praying for bearable future episodes, if possible forever.

(2) lingering pain on my left side (the side with those 2 good sized cysts). it's 8 days since menses started but it's ok though, compare to the endo "rolling on the floor crying" period pain, i'll take this pain any day of the week.

(3) next will be the week long peeing on a stick to detect ovulation. of the many2 times i did this previously, maybe only 2 or 3 times did the stick said "yes"... i assumed i did the test wrong coz it is highly likely. but later realized, i may not be ovulating... reallyyyy... how hard is it to pee on a stick!!!...

to those who are grossed out reading the above, sorry ok...

soooo... i have so far only managed one day of fasting... "one", "1", "se", "satu"... "uno"... before my period started again, and wonder... will i be breaking last year's record...

moving on, did some painting in the kitchen and got paint on my hair. was quite tired and easily lost patience trying to remove it bit by bit. so naturally, i took out a pair of scissors and snip, snip, snip them away. my new Raya hair, with one side longer then the other... like i care.

and since i am on the subject of hair, would like to report, chot got his first ever grey hair. a momentous event, befitting a picture taking session.

and not so great news. our friend audra got into an accident a couple of weeks back. she totaled her car and broke a leg and an arm at 3 places. is now resting at home and missing her fasting just like me. but really, on a serious note people, take every precaution in driving as to always reach your destination in one piece. but u know, sometimes as careful of a driver u are, there are those menace coming out of nowhere.

Ika at the hospital... she's so smart and funny. i was demonstrating to her how she should take a forceful bite out of the plum. she mimicked me... really, i don't think i made that forceful of an expression : D...

and Harris's first birthday party will be this weekend. Mus reported yesterday that the boy has gotten his "L" walking license. i love his eyes... have a close up pic of them somewhere, will show it later (bila la tu ekk??). i will make "pulut serimuka" to try out a tip i got off a friend's website and maybe scrapping the "kek lapis asam manis" for "roti inti kaya"... made some a few days back and loved them for turning out good.

most favorite picture from the camping. i think it makes me look like i have purfick skin : )...

got to go now... have the new Ikea catalog to study ; )... muaahahaha

ramblings & camping pictures.

2006-09-09T06:14:00.000-05:00

it's 6 am in the morning. i couldn't sleep after we woke up for subuh and somehow chot did not going back to sleep also. we'll see how long he can last today.

i've been replacing my fast these last 3 days... 2 more to go. i missed a (record) total of 15 days last ramadhan. due to the unbearable & lingering period pain from the endometriosis and me having to constantly swallow down pain medication.

this ramadhan... i dunno. i'm done with lupron end of June and am still waiting for my period. it should be coming soon... i think. if not, it would be nice to have a whole full month of fasting. ehek ehek, little old me have NEVER had a "rompong" free ramadhan yet.

i'm reporting, some of the plants we put in and transfered, posted here are DEAD. i swear i watered them without fail ; )... so today, we'll access the damage, discard, move & plant stuff.

also reporting, camping and whitewater rafting was a success!!!... Here's where we stayed and played. had a lot of fun and enjoyed each other's company. i forgot to pack snow caps and thus, us not getting a comfortable night's sleep, worst for chot as he has no hair.

am still waiting for friends to share pics from their cameras. especially teng coz he was there to snap pics of us at the end of the rafting excursion in our funyaks, helmets, paddles and such. it was a loonnngg 3 hours of paddling the close to 5 miles length whitewater adventure. and what an adventure it was!!!

see it didn't rained resulting in a low water level, resulting in us getting stuck on A LOT of rocks. was quite a trip, we were all tired, and sore, and cold and hungry. but it was fun, somewhat fun... at least i didn't fell into the water... did i tell u guys i can't swim??

pictures from our camera are uploaded. Day 1, Day 2 and Day 3...

Hasil pokok buah2an

2006-09-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

dah lama jugak simpan gambar2 nie, ambik dari masa buah2 semua kecik sampai la masa masak. dah tengah layan diri sebab tengah ganti puasa nie, sibukkan diri meng"post" gambar2 yang ada.

nak cerita pasal pokok2 buah kat belakang rumah. pokok ceri dan buah2nye. masam yang amat dan kelat lidah bila makan!!! selain burung2 kerjakan, kitaorg kasi jiran belakang rumah ambik buat pie ceri. chot tak suka ceri jadik win tak la cuba bagaikan jadik hidangan petang.

nie buah "plum"... pertama kali kitaorg jumpa jadik kitaorg jakun sikit (ok, jakun banyak!!). sebab tak tau, mula2 win agak nie buah "pear" tapi tak lama kemudian, buah2 nie tukar warna. sedap jugak, manis... petang karang nak pi petik...

buah epal. dari kecik sampai besar. masam jadik win guna dalam masakan. cuba buat inti pie / tart... ok la sedap (ye lah, dah campur gula & jem... mana tak jadik sedap dok??) bila buah dah cukup besar, kulitnye menggerutu sikit. sila tengok reaksi muka chot petik buah tak cun : )

Last of the Tiles

2006-08-31T00:20:00.000-05:00

we've been tiling our kitchen backsplash since forever it seems... took us a very very long time. so last weekend when chot came to the last piece of tile, i was standing by to snap up pics of the momentous event.

it was painstaking for him because he had to cut a section of it out and this made the tile very fragile. so fragile in fact it broke twice...

but in the end he was victorious... : )

i know we're not finished yet, we have the grouting to do (when is that going to be, i can't say) but this is the kitchen so far...

dent + car

2006-08-30T23:40:00.000-05:00

the story behind this...

chot went to pick up the car from the shop. it was send in for fuel flush of sorts and change some belt thing and (the only thing i've been complaining about)... the squealing noise the car's been making.

he came home and began telling that the car was still making the noise, so he took it to another place. and at this place, our car acquired a dent. the guy that worked there accidentally rammed our car into a chevy aveo...

he was realllyy sorry about it (by right he should!!) and they will fix it for free (by right they should!!)... : )

Merdeka

2006-08-30T12:06:00.000-05:00

Esok 31 Ogos, hari merdeka...

hari merdeka pada keluarga win ada maksud baru sebab arwah mak tok, ibu mak win tenat & meninggal sehari sebelum hari merdeka 2001. tok seorang yang sangat "considerate"... dalam nak pergi pun dia pergi dekat dengan hari cuti jadik anak2 dan cucu2 senang nak balik kampung.

dulu bila orang kata dia ada ayah, ibu, anak... tok yang PALING dot dot dot, win tengok sinis kat diaorg. macamana diaorang tau diaorang punya tu yang PALING dot dot!!...diaorang tak boleh pakai perkataan PALING.

tapi win paham, tu semua subjektif... sebab kita sayang dan hargai seseorang tu. dan utk win, tok PALING "best", arwah mak tok... yang PALING baik, PALING bersabar, PALING penyayang... rindu kan tok dan doa cucu nie sentiasa utk tok.

berjalan lagi

2006-08-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

asyik-asyik pi jalan, asyik-asyik pi jalan.

hujung minggu nie kat US cuti hari buruh. cuti hujung minggu jadik panjang satu hari sebab hari buruh hari isnin. perancangan asalnye ada kawan2 nak datang melawat kami kat kampung waterloo nie, tapi masa kami di Peoria 2 minggu lepas rancangan berkhemah dan "whitewater rafting" timbul.

mula2 win tegas kata tak... mana boleh orang nak datang melawat dan win dah ajak datang pas tu kita suruh tak datang. chot pun cakap yang sama tapi lepas pikir dan pikir dan pikir, win sedar yang sekarang kitaorang masih senang nak berjalan... mana la tau tahun depan, mungkin tak boleh.

jadik win cerita kat chot apa yang win pikir, dia pun dengan pantasnye kata dia dah lama pikir macam tu... bila lagi kalau bukan sekarang. tahun depan kita tak tau apa yang bakal jadik, pas tu kawan2 yang lain kut tak se "free"... nanti menyesal. RUPA- RUPANYE DIA MEMANG NAK PERGI, DIA KATA DIA TAK MAU PI SEBAB WIN "INSISTED" KITA DUDUK WATERLOO UTK TERIMA TETAMU. chot nie ada kebolehan goreng baik punye.

jadik jumaat nie kami akan ke Peshtigo, Wisconsin utk aktiviti camping dan main air... chot sukaaaaaa air. dan lepas dapat tarik kawan2 yang win terpaksa batalkan "plan" diaorang ke sini utk ke sana, rasa tak la bersalah lagi.

berjalan lagi...

when i was small

2006-08-28T09:14:00.000-05:00

a friend of mine emailed me these pictures. it's quite funny...

when i was small...

i break rocks with my head
ride my bike down the street and challenge the police

Kansas City Aqiqah Pictures

2006-08-24T14:55:00.000-05:00

ameer's aqiqah went well. although he was very fussy on the days leading up to the event, like a good boy he behaved himself as he was passed around.

emmy's parents came to help her adjust to motherhood and were there cooking up a storm. makcik is really friendly and outgoing but pakcik is a bit on the quiet side. they reminded me of my own parents : )... my mom could really talk up a storm and my dad could really end conversations.

here are pictures of our Kansas City trip. Click here.

uh u guys??? is the sheep smirking??...

"bheeekkkk" the sheep said. "this is my fate... my dear mother warned me of this possibility and it's actually happening". and in his final moment as the knife sliced into his flesh he smirked, forever freezing the expression on his face.

Rocky Mountain Pictures

2006-08-24T14:29:00.000-05:00

hike up pictures click here.

camping pictures click here.

hike down pictures click here. put mouse over picture in slideshow mode to see caption.

the hike up was damn tiring. chot & i never felf this tired in our whole life and swore we'd never do it again. then we reached the camp site and got a little rest, we felt a bit better and swore we'd only go again if it'd be a shorter hike or a day hike. and now after close to 2 months since... noooOPE, never again... not this trail. but ask me again in 6 months : )

wednesday

2006-08-23T12:07:00.000-05:00

we got back into town later than we usually do, close to midnight!!! usually we'll make our move earlier so we don't end up driving in the dark. quite a challenge to stay awake when it's pitch black all around. plus cars with headlight are very annoying.

it's already wednesday huh??... how time flies... chot wanted to mow the lawn yesterday but since he's still tiling the kitchen backsplash i said i'd do it. BUT went to bed late last night and proceeded to wake up at 11 am. it's too hot outside to do it now. i reckon chot will do it after he comes home from work... that is after he cut the 2 last tiles to size.

ahhh... the life of a slacker housewife with a too good of a husband who doesn't demand. cik win slacker slack slack!!! feels crummy when i answer chot's "what did u do today?" question with a very short2 list... usually i don't even try to think of the stuff i did, i'd just say i did nothing.

NOW, i need to address a little issue that arose from my last post. i have to say i've made my friend bee (we stayed at her place last weekend) feel bad for not preparing meals for guests. and ellie meticulously planned out our expenditure if we'd visit her in Omaha... just pay gas and the rest is on her.

u guys and future friends we'll stay with in the future, this is for u guys... don't worry about it. i'm neurotic nowadays where money is concerned but the worry isn't warranted really. the reality is we are in a bit of a squeeze but not to the point of sorrow. it would be nice when we can get the nilai house sold and when my medical bills is paid off but we're managing fine. and when we come to visit, any meal option is fine and we definately do not want our meals paid for... no... no... no...

moving on... i'm still uploading pics of rocky mountain. and tons of other pics too, so a bit of a wait until that gets done. nonetheless, i'd like to end this post with the latest picture of adam and me... us and our squarer faces : )

salam hello

2006-08-18T13:46:00.000-05:00

i'm thinking in english today, no... not because i sound stupid conversing in malay or prefer english over my mother tongue. i value my bahasa melayu and i think i'm fairly good in my grasp of both languages (ehm... ehm... BM SPM A1 i kid u not). and bahasa melayu is the language i'll teach my kids if ever i'll have any because they'll pick up english when they walk out the front door.

i think i'll try to write in english AND malay but not both at the same time. and today i feel english : )...

i've been so very quiet, at first i didn't think anything of it but then friends started calling and asking if i was well. since they didn't see any activity on my blog, they wondered. and a few days ago, my old buddy bai emailed me from malaysia... an alarmed sounding emailed asking if i was doing OK, if anything bad had happen because another old friend in Omaha (yes u kak ellie) asked her to call up my in-laws in gombak. now why didn't ellie just called or emailed me herself??... why because i was being a bad friend of course... my laziness overtaking my life. i was lazy pysically and mentally... lazy... lazy... lazy...

so that's it, i'm ok, we're ok... just plain old lazy...

anywhoooo... i'm writing today and i have a few more hours before chot gets home and off we will go to Peoria, the closest thing we have to a kampung here. Peoria is where chot went to college and where all of his friends and later they became my friends live. we enjoyed seeing and spending time with them and now with a lot of little ones there, we loved it even more.

but (there's always a "but" right??)... i am wrestling with myself inside to not worry too much about all the trips we make and all the expenses we incur from it. that's all i seemed to be about nowadays, worrying about money and afraid of being short. more now since we've started payments on our nilai house... and that's on top of everything else. i pity chot really, when i've become a bit of a dictator of "yes" or "no"...

the dictator said "no more trips after KC, not until december"... but really, do we really want to spend another weekend in this town with nothing to do. i mean, with nothing we like to do.

and the dictator said "we'll go to Peoria but only if u finish tiling the kitchen backsplash"... but on the last evening he had to work on it, he ran out of tiles!!!. how convenient really... a good excuse because we didn't see how he can finish the work in time.

but we're going to Peoria regardless because (1) our minds are already there, looking forward to the trip (2) i was the one who made the boo boo because i was the one who counted the amount of tiles needed and then coming up short... heh heh...

so, a fine dictator i am huh??... seems like nothing i say sticks... and i'll start worrying about our expenses when i come back ; )...

tried uploading some pictures but something isn't working somewhere... later then. oh my gosh, chot's on his way home and i haven't pack... or shower... or edit this post...

Kansas City

2006-08-01T01:12:00.000-05:00

esok lepas kerja kitaorg akan ke KC. KC dalam 5 1/2 jam dari waterloo sebab kawan kat sana nak buat aqiqah hari sabtu.

kenapa pi awal sangat?? sebab diaorg nak sembelih kambing sendiri dan mintak tolong chot lapah kambing. sebab tempat nak sembelih kambing tu tutup hari khamis, dan aqiqahnye hari sabtu, nak sembelih hari jumaat lambat sangat... dah nak sembelih, nak lapah... nak masak... jadiknye rabu pagi.

rabu pagi beberapa ekor kambing akan hilang nyawa mereka...

cerita pasal sembelih2 binatang nie, teringat kat arwah tok win. win ingat win jadik tukang pegang ayam dan tok tamat nyawa ayam2 tu. paling ingat ayam2 tu mengelupar & melompat keliling laman pada saat2 terakhirnya... innallillah... ; ) nanti win ambik gambar...

perkembangan terkini

2006-07-28T15:38:00.000-05:00

semalam nak post gambar2 nie, tapi blogger.com tersangkut2, lembap yang amat. nak taruk gambar perkembangan kat depan.

dah janji tak nak beli pokok, tapi beli jugakkk... dah seminggu pokok2 tu duduk dalam pasu tapi hari nie baru la win tanam. tu pun tinggal 3 pasu lagi, tak tahan dah, panasssss... penat pun iye. dari minggu lepas asyik penat ajek... nie semua sebab lupron : )...

DAN... rambut baru : D...

kepenatan & kepanasan

2006-07-21T18:34:00.000-05:00

semalam jadik super(??) surirumah. berhempas-pulas buat kerja kat taman dari pukul 10 pagi sampai la ke pukul 2 ptg. basuh & sidai baju, masak daging panggang utk makan malam & kalau tu semua tak cukup, sempat selit buat kuih apam beras.

tidur lambat tengok tv. bangun pulak awal, cadangannye nak buat kerja taman lagi sebelum hujan tapi duduk kat sofa lepas tu tertidur. sedar2 dah pukul 2!!!... kita ingat kita handal, tapi badan tak handal.

dan jugak semalam, jadik tukang gunting rambut... bukan potong rambut chot tapi rambut sendiri!!! panas dan rimas & rambut jadik mangsa... tak membantu pun melegakan kepanasan, mungkin cuma menyenangkan kerja bila nak basuh.

nanti kalau rajin win tunguk imej baru. chot dah panggil solat lepas tu ke taman buat kerja... masuk jugak taman hari nie gamaknye. macam kena kerah kerja macam buruh mexico... warna kulit sama dah!!!...

Apa??

2006-07-18T12:20:00.000-05:00

win jumpa gambar nie kat surat khabar Berita Harian Online. kelakar sangat... kelinik apa ni sebenarnye?? cuba teka... ehm ehm, ada clue (apa clue dalam BM??) kat banner (BM??) bawah iklan tu.

rasanye ura2 nak kenakan denda salah guna bahasa untuk kes2 macam nie. nie bukan salah guna bahasa... nie tak tahu bahasa!!!...

kesimpulannye, bahasa kena digunakan kalau tak hilang... kena selalu guna, baru la handal : D

nie yang win tengah buat.

ok sikit dok bm win hari nie???... bunyi dia tulin macam bm cakap hari2... dok???

BAHASA JIWA BANGSA

eh... orang kat dalam gambar tu, dia korek idung ke??...

keras bekerja

2006-07-17T13:13:00.000-05:00

hujung minggu lepas, kitaorg kerjakan semak dekat sebelah depan (tak sudah lagi...). tahun lepas tak la nampak teruk sangat tapi tahun nie dah naik macam hutan. pas tu malu dan kesian kat jiran sebelah. bila diaorg bersantai kat deck (apa aaa dalam BM??) diaorg kena tengok semak samun. jadiknye kitaorg membuat la kerja2 mencabut, mengorek dan membuang.

dalam semak tu jumpa la pulak bunga lily nie. lawa kan??... kalau tak kemas, tak tau kewujudan nye. harum semerbak ruang tamu win.

jumpa jugak hostas dalam semak tu. kitaorg tanam balik kat sekeliling pokok2. tahun lepas kitaorg buang banyak pokok nie. win tak suka, tapikan sebenarnye, tak la buruk mana hostas2 nie. dulu win kata win tak suka, tahun nie tak la pokok kesukaan... cuma sayang nak pi buang2 macam tu jek... pokok tak lawa pun nak hidup jugak : )...

eeerrrr... alamak, dah buat diri sendiri rasa bersalah la. sebab banyak pokok tak lawa jenis2 lain dah selamat masuk tong.

tapi, banyak jugak yang kitaorg gali dan selamatkan. macam bawang2 daffodills dan bawang2 musim bunga yang lain. banyak sangat!!!!... hmmm... ada la satu baldi penuh. rasa macam mencari harta karun. akan di tanam semula dan mudah2an hidup.

TAPI yang sebenarnye pi tulis blog hari nie, nak tunjuk gambar nie. kat batang pokok ada terpaut kulit serangga sebesar ibu jari. dia membesar, salin kulit pas tu yang tinggal kat pokok kitaorg, benda alien nie... masyaallah ciptaan Allah... win jadik jakun, chot ketawakan.

sori ekkk... nak cuba tulis guna bahasa melayu. ada ayat yang bunyi rasmi, ada yang pasar. payah jugak tapi boleh la dok?? : D...

hhmmmm... bukan ke ada ura2 kat malaysia nak di kenakan denda kat sapa2 yang tak guna BM dgn betul??... siapa la pandai sangat kasi cadangan tu??...siapa yang cakap macam P. Ramlee cakap sekarang nie???