4 more weeks to 40 weeks

actually 4 weeks and 3 days... but who's counting...

today, went to the doctor's office and she went and put her hands up there. and said the baby's head is in place.

(1) ouch...

(2) coolness. when this is the first physical contact with baby. i mean the baby is real, she's been wiggling and pushing her butt up my right side but what the doctor just did made it more real...

so, 4 more weeks... maybe more... maybe less... most probably less is u ask my mom. always saying 2 weeks early... always... always the case with ladies on my mom's side. so fingers crossed.

Thank You, Thank You

it's been hectic... or rather, i've been slow. slow in doing everything.

my body aches and i can't sleep at nights. so in the day, i nap a lot. i'm bigger and chubbier and retaining water. seemes like my whole body is swollen... normal stuff, right guys??...

anyways, enough about that. i'm writing for a purpose here, to say a big THANK YOU to dear friends. not in any particular order...

TQ to KAK ELLIE for driving all the way from Omaha and giving and lending tons of stuff. and going around looking for good deals at garage sales for me. i had fun having you and JEFFREY here.



and thank you EMMY for the boxful of baby clothes and other stuff. you're such a sweetheart and very thoughtful. if u can make it, come and visit us and chot's mum can make yummy stuff for u guys.



TQ also to MUS for organizing the baby shower and offering her home for the event. and to the Peoria clan AUDRA, KAK CHA, MIRA, BEE, YAN & ELISZ for the nice gifts, effort and yummy food.

TQ to SYUMAILA for the gift and coming. Finally, we got to meet.

The baby shower was so much fun. great time chatting and eating and laughing. enjoying the kids and playing silly baby shower games. Thank you so much you guys!!! LOVED IT. more pictures are here.


(i know i forgot someone... so i'm adding this now). a big TQ to ANIS & JEPT for the crib and tons of baby stuff. really appreciate it u guys. saves us a lot right there.

and TQ to JOE for the frame, i'll use it for sure & remember you always.

TQ to NEENIE and APEX for those lovely booty and adorable dress. you guys are such dears!!!

also, a big TQ to BAI for the cute baby stuff and helping me get to places i needed to go. dearest buddy... you're a life saver.

and TQ to chot's co-worker KERRY & wife LORNA for the baby clothes. i need to remind myself to send them a TQ note.

sorry for being so out of touch to some of you. want to write proper TQ notes, or email u guys personally but like i said, i'm pretty slow right now.

anyways, pray for me ok u guys, it's getting close and i'm scared... ammmm... that's it. THANK YOU MUCH.

Salam De Kalb

so, here i am again, early2 in the morning blogging.

we're in De kalb for Midwest games... they're doing it at Northern Illinois University this year. My very first time in De Kalb and NIU but chot's been here eons ago to see a friend. he showed me the town and the downtown, and once went to the town's corn festival. if anyone is wondering, he said he wasn't here visiting a girlfriend... he said... hahaha. maybe i'll inquire in more details.

anyways, when midwest games comes along, he'll always lose to the temptation of playing soccer. and each year he goes, and each year he'll come back to me with aches and pains and SWEARS he will not do this again... but then he does... vicious cycle... vicious...

this year i'm tagging along, might as well travel when it's still the two of us. and after he's done with soccer... we'll make our usual round of chicago. with a van, i can buy big stuff at Ikea : )... yeah right... dream on lady!!!

anyways actually, really excited to see Ika & the other kiddies. I want to hear Ika say "toksey"... courtesy of audra's in-laws. will share pics later...

++++

update on chot + my tummy. he's much better than before... there's still worry on his part when the skin is all (in his words) "shiny". well, that the situation. and on the flipside, he's started talking about the next baby. wallau!!!... i'm having enxiety thinking about giving birth, how to raise one child proper and he's already planning out the second one.

ehek ehek, but we'll see, if god is willing. coz (1) with me having endomitriosis, it is wise to not wait to long, not wanting the endo to come back when i'm left errrr... idle. and (2) i'm not actually spring chicken anymore...

: )... speaking about spring chicken, there was a fellow teacher in gerik. she'd tell us her life story on more than one occasion... on getting married late. so to make up for time wasted, every year she'd produce one baby. she has a whole batallion of kiddies tailing her. and we can spot her grafitti car anywhere. when anyone one of us in the teacher's room says "guess who's pregnant??"... i can bet top dollars ALL of us were thinking it's this particular lady... pregnant again??!!!...

anyways, that's it for now. the motel's breakfast starts in 15 minutes... i need food!!!...

the story, morning glory

well, well, well... looks who's up at 4 in the morning...

i woke up to go the bathroom & couldn't fall back to sleep. maybe because tummy is a bit hungry (am having a soya bean drink) or maybe because the enxiety on not starting packing for memorial day weekend trip. that's most probably it... i've procrastinated too long... (and still, instead of packing, i'm blogging!!!)...

alhamdulillah, pregnancy is going well. although body is aching more, i guess it's normal with the extra weight i'm carrying. my back, my legs hurts the most. i know i should have started an exercise routine earlier to prepare my body for the extra strain but sitting on the couch feels much better. and baby is moving much more and it's more intense. she's kicking my bladder often... that hurts too.

i took some pics of me with tummy weeks ago. only recently took and putting up an actual "photo with tummy" for all to see. a friend asked if i took pics each month to track, u know... to track development. ammmm... that would be a "no". felt like not wanting to jinx it i guess. or maybe, not wanting to be too confident... all cocky & happy, acting like it's a done deal when baby is not a comfirm. ur sssoooo pessimistic win!!!... lighten up!!!...

so, why did i took a "photo with tummy" and sharing it with all??... hehheh, i'm not that heartless. besides, it's only one picture taking session and i would like to have some kind of "photo with tummy" to remember this time in my life.

what the ell am i babling about??... so anyways, here's ME with the classic side pose!!!... is her butt bigger than her belly??... wah yes... it is!!!...

++++

also sharing some pics of our new mode of transportation. it's not "new" per say since we traded in our used mitsubishi for a used honda odyssey (oddysey??... haiya... can't even spell it right). we were just talking about getting a van but it was just talk since chot knows he married a worrier (and i worry about money all the time) he didn't want to give me enxiety by pushing the matter. BUT, it is the next logical thing to do, plus, with the prospect of chot's parents coming and staying for 6 months, it will just be impossible to cram everyone in a car.

still, i was not too hot on the idea. my main concern was how we'll manage coz the goal here is to get out of debt, not create more of it. plus, having more people in the household and providing for them... and still having 2 morgages to pay... gosh, i'm having trouble breathing!!!

then it happened...one day, we drove pass the honda dealership and saw a quite cheap van and one thing led to another. chot proposed a patch up plan (basically, work more hours to pay for the van. i pity him really, he comes home tired and then head straight to the computer to do more work. damn, i'm useless.)

so, no denying it... we're officially in the minivan group. anyways, here's last pics with the car and last day of driving the mitsubishi to work for chot. the car has been good to us. and last pic is of the van...

Salam Waterloo 3

ok... pregnancy.

i'll be at 29 weeks this saturday... and will have +/- 3 more months to go. the due date is july 28. i've so far gained 24 lbs and weight 143 lbs. my tummy is bigger and instead of walking, i waddle like a penguin. mostly due to a tight and uncomfortable back. my tummy is out there and when i stand straight, i can't see my feet.

chot is sooooooo trying not to be uncomfortable with the current state of my tummy. he's still working on that coz i can still see some uneasiness in the way he acts around "it". he never just go and touch "it" willingly . on the rare occasions when he does, it seemed like he had to prepare himself before doing so. the act is a bit unnatural but at least he's trying.

when i ask if he want to feel the baby move, he'll give out his hand like "okey, here... where do i put it" and his hand will be a bit stiff. and like the baby knows too... she refuses to wiggle.

he does however at times, put his face close enough to "it" and says "assalamualiakum" and "hello bibi, wake up". he does make fun of himself at the fact that he's uneasy by pointing to my exposed tummy and saying stuff like "eeeeeee!!!... gross". well, that's chot for you.

and the biggest shocker was when he kissed "it". i was surprised when he did it the first time and even more surprised when he went and did it the second time.

++++

and on my end, it's funny coz half of the time, i forget that i'm pregnant. just 2 or 3 weeks ago someone asked "how far along are u??" and my mind was going "far along in what??"... only a couple of seconds later a light bulb lid up and i realized he was asking about my tummy. but i guess most ladies experienced the same thing, it's not like it's a constant conciousness... hehheh, then again what do i know.

but not to worry, i won't be some iron woman doing a triathlon. thanks to my body : )... coz it will tell me when it can't comply with what my mind wants it to do. and thanks to my baby too : ) kicking and squirming in there, reminding me of her existence.

++++

and of late, i'm beginning to have these enxieties. the "i can't escape now, now can i??" and, "what do i know about delivering a baby??" and, "why do i feel like impending doom is upon me??" kindda thing. basically, i'm getting the heebie jeebies. but i am trying to keep these enxieties under control coz i won't be doing myself any good wallowing in them.

++++

i was made a bit unsure by the number of people (and 2 midwives) telling me i look like i'm carrying a boy. but i'm going to stick with the ultrasound saying the baby is a girl. coz she did have her legs wide apart for all to see that day. i don't know when my next ultrasound will be or if there's any... but for now, we're having a girl.

and hopefully insyaallah, all will go well. i'd have chot snap a pic of me to put on the blog. insyaallah soon.

salam waterloo 2

so it's close to 4 in the morning. i missed my sleep time and now am wide awake. i'll wait for subuh and go to sleep after.

i'm trying to think what else was memorable and worth mentioning of my malaysian trip.

oh yes, i met up with anis and adam in kl. jept left for tasmania earlier but the two of them were still in malaysia. they flew in from penang & me from jb. it's worth mentioning that Airasia messed up my ticket, saying i had to buy a new one since the first purchase was canceled. and whatdayaknow?? they charge me twice. and even when they can see they charged me an extra ticket, they weren't helpful in returning the money. asked me to provide proof, to fax the info to them. oh, and trying to get in touch with took forever, put me on hold for ages.

back to meeting anis & adam. adam looked the same just slimmer and more energetic. just looking at anis trying to handle (and wrangle) him made me tired. plus, he was a bit sick so that didn't help his tempraments. he loves to pull people's hair, he always did but maybe more forcefully and persistant.

he tried grabbing mine and became frustrated when i didn't let him. proceeded to release his frustration by biting my arm. and when he couldn't get my flesh between his teeth, he went for my nose. oh boy!!! he bit down hard and for a moment there, i thought he took a chuck off. he didn't BUT it sure felt like it... the pain!!!

ok, sleeply now and it's time for subuh. i'll babble some more later. i still have my pregnancy to tell about.

Salam Waterloo

: )...

all is well... was intentionally not wanting to write a post. i guess there's soooo much to tell that i figured it'd be easier not telling them at all...

let see, trip & time in malaysia

i didn't enjoy the flight, i had pain in my back, siastica (or ciastica) pain they call it. it's something like pressure on a nerve.

i didn't enjoy being reminded of shortcomings of the institution that is "a family". being away from home for so long, i was a little off in my grasp of how eerrrmmm "unique" any (and my) family is and its members. and as quickly as i was thrown off balance with the situation, i quickly settled in... everything was familiar. every stinking little detail.

now, don't get the the wrong idea, i love my family dearly and since family consists of people and people are cooky and sometimes disappointing (right?? no one is perfect)... we don't have a choice but to just accept it... and them.

what the ell am i babbling about??... my point is, had good time with them and treasure the trip most definate. the experience was soooo "authentic".

i did enjoy spending time with my new niece. she's sooo cute even with all that baldness. her hair took so long to grow back after her mom and my dad shaved all her locks off. i am not prepared and will definately be freaked out the next time my sister sends me pics of husna with hair!!!

and husna has this serious expression she always gives us. she frowns a lot, her forehead all wrinkled up. she is so moody... just like her mom... even when she wants to pass wind she'd grumble. and such a light sleeper. and she thinks everyone that walks pass her is trying to play with her. which doesn't help when coupled with the light sleeper state because she'd wake up from sleep and in a few minutes, would start smiling.




i enjoyed spending time with my mom and misses her the most, the most-est... hehheh. bless her heart. she's a weeper and i take after her so at each point we had to part, even when i was only going to KL, she'd cry and then, i'd cry... i know, so sappy.

i did enjoy spending some quality time with my sister fatin. the last time i saw her, she was in that rebellious teenager stage. and now 19, she's a bit grown up. but she did get on my nerve with the constant texting (sms-ing). we'd share a room and at 3 in the morning, that damn phone would start buzzing. and the girl would actually get up and send a reply!!!...

and talking about texting, at the end of my stay, i was getting pretty good at it too. although i think my friend bai would beg to differ. she'd usually loses her patience waiting for my reply that she'd end up giving me a call.

i enjoyed meeting up with friends. this trip home, bai, neenie and apex put in the efford to meet up. bai came by to see me the most and apex offered her lovely home for a pot luck. and neenie send me off at the airport. lovely time, lovely friends. thanks u guys!!!

hhmmm... what else??...

oh, my sister's wedding. it went well for the most part. it could have been better but whose wedding is perfect??... unless ur dad is some big shot and could hire an army of people or like siti norhaliza, u have shah redza as a wedding planner (ehh, even then siti ended up wearing that power puff girl gown!!!)... back to my sister...

the most memorable and unbelievable incident, like the sooo unprofessional sound guy my parents hire. he forgot to come. and guess where he was with his family when my dad called from the wedding hall??... in Pangkor Island, frolicking in the sun.

and, the groom's mom not showing up. a bus did come (we did prepare ourselves this time : D) but since my sister's mom-in-law was a no show, the bus was only 1/3 full. probably the other 2/3 of people didn't see the point of coming when the groom's mom wasn't. i pity my new brother-in-law, he tried to explain his mom's absent as best as he can. like i said, families & their members... someone will spoil it at one point or another.


but all in all, the wedding went well. and it felt great being able to help out and participate. and, more pictures of my malaysian trip are at my photo album link.



ok then, i think i should continue my babbling some other time, chot is walking around in the kitchen, opening the fridge and stuff. and just now asked for tea. and he's so thoughtful, he took the initiative to boil water for me to make him tea : D...

and 15 minutes later, i'm still typing away, editing this post and he went and made his own drink!!!... : o... : D...

salam malaysia

reporting, arrived safely in malaysia. my back is still hurting... started from sitting too long on the airplane. came to a point where i just can't bare it... looking at my watch and counting the minutes to touchdown in KL. this is craziness, will not do it again!!! (when will it be then the next time i go back alone with a pregnant belly anyways huh??)...

my malaysian food consumption hasn't been that rampant. some like the satay and nasi dagang fell below expectations. mainly due i think to me thinking about them too much back in the states, thus incidently elevating it's tastyness a few degrees. i mean, it's good but i just thought it should be better.

also maybe i didn't get my food at the right place...

i'm here now in JB... and yesterday we started doing the "bunga manggar"... my sister is very low on funds & only has a small budget to work with that the pressure to get stuff done (a certain pretty2/ particular way) is not there. basically, just do it as best as we can with what we already have. oh and yes, she is getting married to the guy with the amazingly bad family. the guy seems nice enough though...

well, will update when i can.

itching to blog

i've been wanting to write stuff but due to poor time management & a flurry of activities, only manage to do so now.

OMAHA

it was such a great trip. i met kak ellie after so long & spend lots of time laughing & talking. we've haven't talked much even when she moved to the states but upon seeing her, it felt just like old times.

me and bai always crash at ellie's apartment in KL. and when bai "bertenet" with niza, ellie & i would often go do stuff together... maybe she felt sorry for me : )...

she's very sisterly, she's like a big sister i never had. a SAVIOR too, my knight-ess in shining armor : ) coz one time, she saved me from a pervert. this perv didn't want to let me go, pulling me up to his apartment. after ellie threatened him, he send me back down.

i didn't expect ellie could or would be physically forceful too... coz as soon as the guy got close enough to her, she punched him in the stomach, yup... she did. and as we drove away, i realized how weak and stupid and defenseless i am/ was and how very glad i am to have ellie there... i could have been victimized... the horror.

that was old times, she's happy... happier now in Omaha, with a kind husband and the darnest, smiliest cute cute baby boy. my weekend with her was spend eating lots and lots of food. she not only prepared every single meal but made desserts and snacks too.

i was sooo happy i got my "perut masak lemak cili padi" and my "nasi lemak sambal kerang" and enjoyed other stuff i didn't think of requesting. chot & i were like big happy piggies coz we rarely eat that much food. and because malay food is so rich in fat & oil & cholesterol, chot joked that he felt his life was shortened by 5 years being in Omaha for 2 days. but that didn't stop us from eating more of ellie's stuff in waterloo coz she packed us leftovers.

i took some pictures click here for pics of food and of jeffrey and us having a good time.

on our drive back, we passed a truck hauling lifestock... i took a picture.


ABNORMAL CELLS

wednesday Feb. 14, chot and i went to see my OB-gyn. remember i wrote about them finding abnormal cells from my pap smear?? well, my doctor took a closer look that day & plotted where the cells are... she said to the nurse "cells are at 3 o'clock, 6 o'clock... 9... 12 o'clock" and i thought to myself "that's like everywhere!!!". i went in kindda hoping the bad cells had miraculously dissapeared on their own... nope... no such luck.

she said that my abnormal cells are high grade ones. and left untreated most likely will progress into cancer. but since i'm pregnant, she can't treat me and any kind of treatment will have be be schedule 6 weeks after delivery. what is left is for us to monitor the progression and i will have to have a pap smear every 3 months.

the doctor said there is a chance the cell might go away on it's own after i give birth BUT she doesn't sound or look convincing.

and abnormal cells takes a few years to turn cancerous and since we detected them early, there's not much concern. BUT since i missed doing my pap smear last year, i wonder how long those cells have been festering inside of me and how long i have left before they turn really2 bad... aahhhh... the uncertainty... think positive win, think positive...

sigh... there's really nothing i can do about it, i'm not that worried. just hoping it'll be under control until i can have them zapped away with lasers... think positive... think positive...

GIVING ADVISE TO ALL LADIES THAT ARE READING THIS, GO DO YOUR PAP SMEAR EVERY YEAR... EVERY YEAR... better to detect & treat early before things get nasty.

MALAYSIA

if u get to reading this far into my looonngg post, you'll find out that i am heading for family time in malaysia. see, on our way to Omaha, i related to chot of me writing my birthday post for my sister & how I missed lots of important family stuff. how i kindda really feel i want to go home. so, we agreed we'd ask the doctor next time we see her, if it's ok for me to travel and all.

evidently the doctor said OK coz I AM leaving for malaysia on the 26th. actually, by the time we asked her, my urge to go home was not at all strong. even when she said yes, i was very iffy. so iffy in fact that i lost sleep thinking about it and was giving myself a headache and making myself more confuse.

little that i know, chot made it his mission. he called the travel agent as soon as we got home from the clinic. he said "i'm just looking around for a good price so when you do decide, i know what agent to call". but the next day at work, he went and bought the ticket. he knows and i know if it was left to me, i'll still be thinking and thinking and thinking.

SO, i will make it to Bobo, my 2nd sister's wedding March 10th. i'll get to see my parents and my other sisters and my little niece... my relatives... my friends. eat malaysian food & fulfill my dream of going to the "pasar malam".

i have a few more days left to pack & get stuff ready for chot. he'll be spending the 6 weeks apart by working like a dog. he needs to make up for the dent in our already tight expenditure from the purchase of my flight ticket & future spending in malaysia.

and trying not to be too useless in generating some spending money for myself, i plan to bring some handbags and wallets to sell in malaysia. i hope the stuff gets sold coz this little pregnant lady had the stuff hauled across oceans. anyone interested??... take a look here at the pictures of AUTHENTIC BRANDED HANDBAGS WITH REASONABLE PRICE. hehheh, i should try to advertise better huh??...

Happy Happy Birthday

we're leaving for Omaha this evening & i haven't finished packing. but i am a bit of a procrastinator so i do have to be true to my nature : )...

thank you for the birthday wish people.

i'm writing this especially for my sister yohaniz (we call her dedek) coz it's her birthday too. she's 30 today and i'm exactly a year older. although i don't think she reads my blog but what the hell, it doesn't hurt to put my thoughts down.

her & i were born on the same day, a year apart. such good timing i have to say for my mom to hit the same date 2 year in a row. what's the probability of that i wonder??

but the similarity ends there. we look different, have different hair type, different look... different, different different. and we hate each other's guts growing up... actually, it's more of her hating mine & i just returned the compliment. she's a clean & neat freak even when we were little. if i accidentally touched her she'll start huffing and puffing, saying "jangan la sentuh, kau tak mandi lagi"... or something like that. what a quack...

: D... so we sisters never grew to liking each other. and never got a chance to get to really spending quality sister time & do whatever sisters do. then we went to different boarding schools, different universities and all that. started work at different malaysian states. only seeing each other when i go back for long holidays. then i got married & moved to the states... how far away can i go right??... doesn't help getting close to siblings that's for sure.

i wasn't there when she got married (i wanted to go back but with all the medical bills i inccured, i just can't make myself). so i missed that, missed her delivery of her first daughter, husna. missed visiting her when she was unwell. see, she recently had to have her left ovary removed due to a cyst that was growing on it. the thing twisted a few times causing her ovary & cyst combo to die. when the doctor cut her up, the thing was already rotting...

and knowing i'll be missing a lot more by living so far away from home. shucks!!! suddenly felt like hopping on a plane for a visit... if only it was that easy.

anyways, as we got older, we just kindda mellowed... we try to email once in a while and i talk to her sometimes on the phone. she sends me pictures of husna.



anyways, happy birthday dek... hope to see you soon.

right, can't think of a title

it's 2 in the evening. been sitting in front of this computer since 9 am. my back is hurting from sitting too long but still, i am looking for something else to do that is computer related. that has been the case (ok, problem) lately.

my left side is hurting. it's the same pain i felt from my existing medical condition. maybe the cyst is trying to shrink, i dunno but the pain is at a level where i can't help but wince. hope it'll go away soon.

the pregnancy will be at 4 months this saturday, how time flies. my tummy is bigger and i have to stop describing it as a "buncit" coz it has cease to look like a big lunch. i pulled my sweater up to show chot my tummy and i guess it does look pregnant... coz the next thing he said was for me to please not scare him. my husband cringes at the sight of a pregnant belly. he sees one and think it's going to burst like a balloon. i'll report more on this as time progress.

i'll be 31 tomorrow. i'm ok with it (do i have a choice??) and don't feel like i need to sit down and reflect on my younger days : D... Last year was a different story all together, reaching three- zero was a bit of a doozy. i'd probably feel the same way when i get to four-zero, insyaallah.

we'd probably go out to a restaurant downtown. since we'll be driving to Omaha tomorrow, we'll have the birthday dinner today. that is if i don't change my mind... the weather is awfully cold nowadays and i just hate walking outside... torture!!!

and thank you for the well wishes from ezzel & redza. i don't think they read my blog apart from leaving their congratulatulations in the comment section. but if they do read this, thank again and no redza, sorry dude, no can do. maybe tuah or seri.

Bunch of pics

pictures are uploaded to my photo album. click the link on the left bottom part of the blog.

pictures are from Adam's Birthday party & farewell, Jept & family final days in Peoria and us sending them at the airport.

and i like this picture the most, for the oh so obvious reason of being the last picture of all 5. i make it sound like we're not going to meet up ever... maybe not ever, but sure going to be a long while.

Oh Harry, how you've grown

*WARNING* provoking pictures.



sorry then, by the time u see the warning sign, u've probably saw the pictures too... astagfirullah la banyak2 ye kawan2.



i was just doing my usual "wastetimeinthedaytime" reading news at yahoo and these pictures REALLY caught my eye. i don't think i can watch the next Harry Potter movie (or any harry potter movie for that matter) and not be reminded of how this boy has grown.

doodling

today, waking up suddenly i felt like sushi. it's weird... not that i felt like sushi but weird that for a small town like waterloo, we do have a japanese place.

usually a town's diversity is on a scale of the existance of (1) a chinese place (2) an indian place (3) thai place (4) everything else. the more diverse, the more (1), (2)... then comes (3) & (4). but for waterloo, we jumped a few steps!!!

that one and only japanese place is the expensive sit down kind... maybe they have a lunch special huh??... hmmm interesting. anyways, the sushi place we like is in chicago, if only we lived closer to a diverse town like chicago... i'd be going to bed happy.

and, i want to mention, i've been thinking a lot about my grandmother's "botok2" (not to be confused with "otak2". though "otak2" sounds pretty yummy too). "botok2" is a johor thing i think coz i've never seen it anywhere else. it's fish in "ulam" gravy wrapped in more "ulam2an" and all is wrapped in banana leaves, then steamed. hard to find "ulam" too. my grandmother had them growing in her yard but after she passed away, no one dug them out & grow them at their place.

i remembered when my mak yah wanted to make some "botok2", she had to go on an "ulam" expedition into villages... asking if she can pick some leaves of some bush.

anyways, on a happier note, my friend ellie in Omaha offered to make me some "nasi lemak sambal kerang" AND "perut masak lemak cili padi"... so we'll be going to Omaha soon insyaallah. my friend mus in peoria also offered to make me stuff, I'll keep that in mind : ). she makes very good noodle dishes... maybe mee rebus (she calls it mee kuah keledek or something)... yummy.

hmmm... and i thought i wanted to write a post on a few topics but it's 100?% on food. hungry... hungry... hippo...

hungryyyyy... want nasi lemak sambal kerang. i'd make some myself but i don't think i can stand frying the sambal, plus no kerang.

and i'm still thinking of my friend bai's mom's perut masak lemak cili padi. and paku pakis masak lemak...

nothing of my mom's yet... oh, oh... my dad's maggi goreng.

tired & out of breath

been wanting to blog but after getting into town a couple of days ago, i have no energy to spare. even chot took a sick day... but unfortunately for him, his sick day involved removing snow from our long driveway.

jept, anis & adam are safely back in malaysia. jept will have an intense 3 weeks to enjoy home before starting work in Australia. before they left, chot helped them clear out their apartment. i tagged along, trying to keep adam out of trouble while anis did what she needed to do.

we left for chicago monday & had a wonderful dinner at an iranian restaurant downtown chicago. the food was so good, the company was even better. the next morning, we headed to O'hare early2 in the morning. we were in the morning rush but people on the roads were courteous enough.

chot commented "unlike a sale, they must not like going to work... they are all taking it easy". : ) as oppose to a certain "after thanksgiving sale" where people were sooo nasty.

anyways, we were at the airport until 10 am... we took pictures and said our goodbyes. hugs and pats on the back... but no crying. i bet if the goodbye session was a bit longer, we would see tears.

and then they went through the security check & that was it. walking back to the car was weird though, my legs & chest were a bit heavy... like "it finally happened, the end of all the fun times & good company with them". in the car, chot said "dah takde dah, dah takde kawan". i wonder when will we see them again...

++++

on a totally different note... i got two not so good phone calls from the ob-gyn office. on my last check up, they did tests and before we left, the doctor said "if you don't hear anything from us, that means test results came back ok". so my heart skipped a little when i got a call from them.

the nurse said there's abnormal cells from the pap smear. & the next time i come in, they'll do a colposcopy (i think that's what she said). basically, the doctor will look at me under a microscope, a closer look, more tests to see what kind of abnormal cells i have. i'm thinking it's no big deal, they didn't want to see me earlier, just to come in on the same date in february. i read on the internet, some kind of cells developed into cancer but if those are the cells i have, it won't happen in 2 to 3 years... that is if untreated. anyways, i'm trying not to worry.

and then the next day, i got another call from the nurse... "hi darwina, this is carrie..." and i went "oh, great...". the result of the urine test says i have bacteria in my pee & i need to take antibiotic... easy enough. i didn't get a call from them regarding my blood test, so i'm assuming that one went well...

and that's the news so far. my tummy wants food so i'll respond to comments after. oh, and also i have tons of pictures to upload...

look what i got!!!

love you!!! a big thanks... no, a HUGE thank you to marina for thinking about me and sending a little care package of raya cookies. also thank you to Aida for having to bring these from malaysia (i assume) & mailing it to me from Sacramento.

you are such a dear, my dear... i feel so honored, warm and fuzzy inside & been smiling since yesterday. sad to say, even my own parents never sends me anything.

and at a time when i've been thinking about malaysian food (a lot... A LOT. ehem, even dreaming of going to the "pasar malam") & not being able to get my hands on any, came this ohhh soooo wonderfuuullll surprise.

thank you so much for being sooooo thoughtful to little ol' me. I will enjoy every single bite!!!...

++++

the story of us : )

we were roomies for quite a long time in MCC. but towards the end, we got into a bit of a bad period. we'd ingore & didn't speak to each other. and since i was always in our room, she had to roam around to avoid me, to the point of camping out at other rooms. it was definately worst for her. and for the likes of me, i can't remember what started the whole mess.

but we've said our sorries & am glad we're good friends again.

in MCC, she's the first one who told me about chot. and even showed me who the guy was (but it was dark though & i can't make out his face). apparently he had a bit of a reputation & marina, coming back to our room from her many gossip sessions was in disbelief when she found out i didn't know who this guy was. yeah... i don't get out much.

marina loves her music & she has drawers and drawers full of cassettes (yup!!!... we're from that era). everytime going to kuantan, she'd always has some cassette to get, the shop owner LOVES her. she very chatty & very bubbly & loves her lipsticks & her shoes : )... and would be constantly writing something on her apple. the handful of people there with an apple. she's very talented, she'd share poems she wrote, lovey ones, and funny ones, and angry ones. i was amazed since i can't write a poem to save my life : D...

the new marina is a new mother and doing very well in advancing herself, going her masters and all. and she has a lovely blog... do go and visit & say hi http://marinadelrey.blogspot.com/

Ika

i have these pictures of Ika that's just laying around... might as well share them. her hobbies are... playing under the sink, playing "masak2" and playing with her food. and looking adorable while doing all of it!!!...

We'll definately miss u

adam said "what??... we're moving??... AUSTRALIA??!!!"



and so the time is finally here to say our goodbyes. it sucks seeing friends move... suckier when they move to a different continent (australia is a continent right people??). we can't just get in the car & drive.

i know i'll miss adam... i'll miss his antics... how he stares at vitrually everyone & then smiles his smile. i'll miss his cheeks, his dimples and i'll most definately miss hugging that ohhh sooo firm body.

i'll miss anis & jept's company for sure. we had good times travelling, camping, talking. i'll miss their efficiency when we travel, they are a pillar of light & hope when we go camping. when we get together and talk, jept & chot would sometime start yapping about old times and old flames... but mostly of old times. and we'd talk about anything and everything.

but i do wish i'd spend more time with anis, we could probably talk about a million things but since i'm a bit slow at making conversations, it doesn't help. Though i noticed we have a thing in common like having problems calling people, i'm more severe in that department, i have to admit. maybe because we don't really like to talk nonsense.

++++

i knew jept at the same time i knew chot... around june or july 1998. they came to memphis for a friend's wedding. i took them around town and later chot & i became an item. jept & chot been good buddies since after SPM. and jept remembers fondly when they would go back to gombak & gobbled down my MIL's cooking. and they'd do what boys do... you know... video games : )... i know for a fact, chot will miss jept's company & i'm not wrong when i say vice versa.

i first met anis around december 2000. anis came to peoria & i was visiting from malaysia with chot's parents. anis & jept were just starting to know each other. but during that time, chot & i had a few issues & we were working stuff out so anis & i didn't get a chance to socialize. not until chot & i got married & i moved here.

++++

we will insyaallah send them at the chicago airport, chot wants to see. though i'm a bit apprehensive because i know i''ll be sad to a point of crying...

ahhem... ahhem... i may look tough but we ladies from my mother's side were born with the uncanny ability to shed tears at the slightest display of sadness (or happiness for that matter). we'd even cry watching critical tv drama moments. my father would wait until the scene was over and turn to see our faces... and then make jokes & laugh at how silly we looked... a family tradition.

and throughout the years, i did train myself to hold my emotions inside when faced with these moments... i'd be a bit chocked up inside but no tears.

sooo... i'll report on the outcome from the airport then later!!!...

here a a few pictures with them. we'll miss you guys most, most definately & have a good life in Australia...

ultrasound

so, i do have the software in the computer, just didn't know where to look for it. when chot got home last night & upon hearing me complain, he clicked the mouse here and there & voila!!!... a bit crooked. the second pic was my going, taking a picture of a picture with shaky hands.

and alhamdulillah, blogger lets me upload them.

wind of change

it felt like ages!!!... been wanting to write and update the blog, been collecting and arranging stories in my head lately on stuff i want to share, taking pictures and all... but to no avail. at least until today!!! yeay!!!...

hopefully, today will be the beginning of sense & nonsense of daily blog writing, amin.

i kindda had an idea of stuff to write but as soon as i logged on to blogger, the lady from the Ob-gyn clinic called to reschedule my ultrasound... sending my into a state of mild frenzy.

++++

ultrasound?? why do i need an ultrasound??... weeeellllllllll, the thing is, i am a bit pregnant. about 12 weeks 3 days pregnant, alhamdulillah.

we found out 2 days before my period was suppose to come. Chot was talking about going to Orlando for december holidays. he hasn't been to Disney world & we were thinking might as well. since it is still the two of us, easier to explore every nook & cranny of the place.

so before we went & booked all stuff that needed booking, we wanted to make sure. I did the home pregnancy test to double check what i was sooooo sure i knew i wasn't... waiting for the "not pregnant" sign to appear. but boy, oh boy... i was sure in for a shock!!!...

so there i was, in shock, my heart beating quite fast and was starting to cry a bit. which is a bit funny because the next thing i did was to find chot and shoved the stick at him. it's funny because i had this surprise plan carefully thought out. i got this "congrats/ we're pregnant" card eons ago. the plan was to send him the card at work... buuutttt... it took me about 10 seconds to tell him the news, so my whole surprise plan went out the window.

the rest of the day that day, everytime i went into the bathroom, i would glance at the test result that was sitting pretty on the counter... checking if it might change to "not pregnant". mana la tau dok??? but it didn't... and when i actually missed my period, i went and did another test. and left the stick on the counter and did the same glance thing.

++++

future grandparents weren't as happy as we thought they might be or even convinced when we told them. my mom was like "oh ok, alhamdulillah, da da da, goodbye". maybe because it was still early in the morning when i called. and also maybe because she wasn't getting enough sleep on account of Husna, the first ever grandchild not wanting to sleep at night. (i'll tell about husna soon, and how she changed her parents, my parents and sisters' lifes, and how she's oh sooo cute)

and then there's chot's parents. they were insisting on us going to the doctors like... yesterday. not like we can... when i called the clinic, they schedule me to come in at 8 weeks. and even then, they didn't do any blood test or urine test... just said "congratulations" and asked a bunch of questions.

chot was getting a bit bothered at them, having to explain how accurate the home pregnancy tests are... 99.9% accurate. and how the test worked and this and that. but all they were asking "dah pi clinic??" and "bila nak pi clinic??"

++++

at 8 weeks, we went to the clinic. didn't see the doctor, just the nurse. but talking with friends, their experiences involved some form of testing. but none for me though, which was a bit of a bummer. i wanted them to confirm i was really, really pregnant. but i guess they did things differently in Iowa.

not until i related to her of pains i was having around the lower abdomen, where the cysts are located did she schedule an ultrasound.

i'm not gonna lie. i went into the utlrasound thinking about seeing the fetus more then seeing how the cysts were doing. my first question to the lady was "so?... can u see the baby??"... and that was the first thing she did for me. and i got a bonus, when we (chot was there too) heard the heart beat. IT WAS SOOOOO AMAZING!!!... it went "wooshooo, wooshoo, wooshoo" very fast. well, that confirms it!!!...

yesterday was the 12 week visit. i saw the doctor. a nice enough lady. my old doctor at the clicic moved so i got another one. they took my urine, my blood (god!!! 3 viles worth of blood) and she did a pap smear, checked my boobs... that kind of thing. and i'm wondering how far did she put her hands up my... oh you know where... coz i'm still cramping a bit.

and today, i have to go in again for an ultrasound. usually they don't do an ultrasound until the 20th week but they want to make sure since i have a history of abnormalities. and i kept on thinking of the cysts giving me pain when really, that might not be the case. what is most probably happening is the stretching of the endo scar.

++++

anywhoo... just came back from the clinic & ultrasound went well. since we can't see scars on an ultrasound, they can't really comment on the endo scar, unless there's blood in the scar... which i have one of. that cyst and another cyst (the called it a simple cyst) are getting smaller in size.

and most importantly, baby looks good & as soon as the lady put the thing on my tummy, we saw the baby kick. i have ultrasound pictures and i feel stupid taking a picture of a picture but chot didn't installed software for me to scan & safe pics to the computer... so here it is...

rats!!!... nope, sorry... blogger won't let me upload pics. do i need to change to the new & improve version in order to upload pics with ease??...

++++

anyways, most2 importantly i want to say, we are so very thankful to Allah for giving us this gift & we pray we get to keep this gift, to have and to love until our dying days. may we live long lives together & enjoy each other. may our child be healthy, and normal & smart. most importantly, soleh, praying for our souls when we are no more.

this has been a wonderful journey so far, and i feel somewhat in a dream and i catch myself touching my tummy to make sure if it's real... alhamdulillah, allahhuaakhbar.

old stories

it's been what??... two weeks since i last blogged??... I'm sooo very lazy. but today, felt a little urge to blog, lets see how long i can last heh??...

i had my heart's content of japanese food that thanksgiving weekend. YUM-MYYY. it's a pretty good buffet place, we love it : ). i was stuffing and shoving sushi like there's no tomorrow. i wish i had a bigger stomach (or a second stomach is a cool idea too) coz the urge to eat more was there, but just couldn't swallow any more. ahhhh... what gluttony... and the perils we put our digestive system in the name of food.

the midnight sale was a total disaster!!!... if ever u plan of going next year, DON'T!!!!! at least, don't go to the one in Aurora, Chicago (yes dort, we went to that particular one). We didn't think the whole of chicago were going too!!!...

we headed there around 10:30pm. and by the time chot got a parking spot, it was already close to 3:30am... yeah, we could easily have driven back to waterloo in that amount of time!!!chot was becoming impatient, who wouldn't?? it took us 3 + hours to go 3 miles to get to the exit. we had cars trying to cut into the exit lane on our left, we had people going on the service lane and trying to cut into the exit lane on our right. we had an angry lady, angry at people going on the service lane... got out from the passenger side and stood in the middle of the service lane!!!... she however lost to another angry lady, cursing and shouting for her to get the *uck out of the way. pretty nasty.

we had a car broke down... and how stupid the driver and passengers were, when they just sat there without pushing their car out of the way. anyways, when the outlet was close enough, we decided that i should just walk there. there were others who had abandoned their sorry drivers and opted to just walk.

so there i was, walked through bushes and jumped a fence!!!... how exhilarating since i couldn't remember the last time i did that, also felt like i was breaking the law... i think i did!!! anyways, the plan was to go straight to the coach store. but to my surprise, the was a very, very longggggggg line. people were lining up just to get a chance to go into the damn store!!!... and did i tell u guys, it was a cold night??... yup, what craziness!!!... by the time chot finally got a parking spot, he was ready to go back. we did go into a few shops that didn't have quite a long line but chot was just not in the mood to look and try stuff for size.

we got back to the hotel room at around 5:30 am... what a waste of time really. we could have instead had a nice time sleeping : D...

after we woke up, we got ready to go the the outlet at kenosha. now that was a pleasant trip. the weather was nice, no long line : D... got a few stuff for myself... chot got A LOT of stuff for himself... stuff we don't need. also a few last remaining stuff for my sister's wedding.

after kenosha, we went to gurney mills. but our feet were starting to ache. and i know chot had reached his limit when he doesn't want to go into any more stores. he said all he needed was a short nap and after that needed nap, go to ikea. said it's better to go friday night and not be bothered with the weekend crowd. BUT his nap went all the way to 4 in the morning!!!... there goes the whole "missing the weekend crowd"...

headed to peoria saturday night and stayed with jept, anis and adam. sunday, left for waterloo, but that's without forgetting to stop by the outlets in williamsburg, iowa. all in all, a total of 4 outlet malls!!! it was a good trip i think.

but i do have a few stuff to return since some i bought on impulse :D... chot seemed happy with his purchases and wore his new timberland shoes to work that monday. and his new columbia fleece a few days after...

and since that weekend, we just stayed in town. chot tried to manage as much overtime as he can. as to make the dent we made shopping seem less noticeable.

Happy Shopping!!!

tomorrow is thanksgiving and it'll be a long weekend for us here. but to others (or is it all??) the day after thanksgiving is the event to look forward to... AFTER THNAKSGIVING SALE or BLACK FRIDAY. usually everyone will be getting ready early-early-early in the morning in front of stores, to get the best deal they can get their hands on. this one outlet mall is opening it's doors midnight even!!!... MIDNIGHT MADNESS they call it, yeah!!! totally crazy... but comparing to the day before raya at Jalan Masjid India, i think it is about the same crazy buying, shoving madness... yeah... crazy...

we... ehhmmm... "small fishs" aka "thin wallet" people are joining in the events too, doing some small time shopping & finding good deals... buying pretty stuff we don't need : )...

we will be leaving for chicago tomorrow and staying until Saturday. AND, i am really looking forward to the food... especially Todai, a Japanese buffet place we adore.

ok then people, have a good weekend... we will try to have a good one too : )

: )

it's been quite a long time since i last wrote something, so i feel replying to each and every comments in my last 2 posts will be way too... in the past. TQ for the insight and advise u guys!!!...

i talked to my mom last week and she still a bit pissed... what can i say, old people... when they have a (sort of a ) grudge tends to keep the feelings linger. i relay to her that part about the engagement ring and part of the "duit hantaran" were put on a kitchen plate and she went into story telling/ "mengumpat" mode.

she said "Ya Allah... da... da... da...", "da... da... da..." and more "da... da... da..."... and then said "mama tau pinggan tu, mama pun ada satu kat dapur. tu pinggan dapat free bila beli colgate"... Now, that's funny!!!

and i did think i over reacted a little bit. no marriage is easy so maybe this is my sisters part of the deal. my parents have no issues with the future son-in-law, so that is somewhat good. someone commented i should put a stop to the marriage, i don't think i dare interfere to that level. we did tell her of our feelings and made known our requests (ok... demands) come the nikah time. she & future hubby understood & up to them to be diplomats between the two sides. she said thank you to my folks, i guess for putting with all the BS.

i on the other hand, have not called her since that time i babeled on the phone to her. i did emailed but she hasn't replied. i should engage her in some kind of interaction but it's easier isn't it to run away from saying the hard things??... especially when u live on the other side of the world. i will make my peace, i think i'll write her a letter (damn it, just call her already!!!)

anyways... moving on. what have i been doing, being so quiet without a post to my blog??... well, we had guests that first weekend in Nov. Audra's family came from malaysia and she was taking them to Minneapolis. So, they stayed at our place and made a day trip to the outlets and Mall of America.

we also went to minneapolis with them but our destination was Ikea (as always). i had the brilliant idea of adding more cabinets in the kitchen. rented a van but it was a bit broken. the door became jammed so there we were, 3 engineers and 1 housewife trying to "make" the door close. freezing our butts off in the parking lot. we called for help and help came, the door closed but not without leaving us with about 3 hours wasted. but this being America, all we had to do was call and complain. we got 50 bucks coupon on our next rental.

last weekend, did nothing. lazied around the house. both didn't shower from the time we woke up saturday morning. come sunday evening, we were ripe!!!...

anyways, have pictures of the Hari Raya in Peoria. Click here. the top i wore was given to me by my MIL more then a year ago. but those butterflytailundersleevething kept getting into food. and... I LOVE ADAM. chot's shirt was also courtesy of MIL, i realized i should have washed it before wearing, it was a bit stiff and somewhat rode up, making chot's short neck looked even shorter.

so have a good weekend u guys!!!...

tak sedap hati nie

sebelum win masuk bab cerita pasal kenapa win tak sedap hati, nak umumkan yang adik win yohaniz dah selamat lahirkan anak isnin 30 Oktober. cucu & anak sedara no. 1 utk kitaorg. Namanye Nurhusna Imani bt. Mohd. Rafizal. Agak panjang tapi takpe la, anak diaorg... suka hati la nak taruk apa pun. Panggilnye Husna... win suka, bunyi comel.

pergi pulak bab adik win farahanim aka bobo. majlis tunang selamat & selesai Sabtu 28hb. Tapi ada beberapa isu yang buat mak & abah (& lepas mak cerita kat win)... win tak berapa puashati. abah bising & mak terkilan, & win susah hati memikirkan... ada ke kitaorang anak beranak "over"??

tapi bila bercakap ngan bobo, dia tak rasa apa yang jadik tu isu yang perlu di pikirkan.

majlisnye jadik kelam-kabut sebab lepas mak tanya bakal besan berapa ramai nak datang sebab nak sediakan makan dll, yang munculnye 2 kali ganda. semua sebelah famili win terkedu & terkejut besar sebab katanye dalam 40 orang tapi yang datang satu bas kilang + 4 buah kereta... dua kali ganda. macamana jadik macam nie tak berapa pasti lagi. tapi mak kata dia rasa macam kena tipu sebab dia bercakap & bertanya dengan mak pihak lelaki sendiri.

siapa yang aturkan bab bas kilang pergi dari Felda 1, ke Felda 2, ke Felda 3 & Felda 4 ambik orang kitaorg tak tau. kitaorang tak tau semua tu saudara-mara, kenalan atau orang yang pihak lelaki tak kenal langsung. tak kisah lah siapa diaorang kepada pihak lelaki, cuma kata lain & jadiknye lain. kalau korang, tengok orang turun satu2 dari bas and jalan ke arah rumah korang, masuk rumah tak henti2... macamana reaksi korang?? mak win terkedu sangat, sampai kepala dia pusing, tak berani bangun takut2 pengsan.

win kata ngan mak yang kot ada jiran2 dia yang buat keputusan nak angkut orang & mak ayah pihak lelaki tak dapat kawal. tapi lepas cakap ngan mak, win telefon bobo & dia kata mak pihak lelaki maksudkan 40 orang dewasa... budak2 tak masuk kiraan... tapiiii mak kata, mak pihak lelaki sendiri kata ngan dia berulang2 kali yang tak ramai yang akan datang, cuma 30 ke 40 orang sebab saudara-mara dah takde kat kampung. dia kata jugak rumah kitaorg kecik, tak muat kalau bawak orang ramai2.

jadik bayangkan keadaan rumah yang penuh dengan orang (dalam & luar). nak buat perkara lebih haru-biru, hujan pulak hari tu. wakil pihak lelaki & pihak perempuan yang nak bercakap dah duduk macam kadi & pengantin lelaki nak lafaz akad. makanan tak cukup, sampai orang rumah hanya makan kuah kari & lebih2 roti jala. pulak ada yang tak malu mintak bekas nak bekal makanan & dengan mak win tengah terpinga2 & masih tergamam tengok orang tu bekal makanan, orang tu takde pun segan silu kata minta maaf ke apa, kata terpaksa ambik bekal sikit untuk anak2 & cucu2 utk makan dalam bas. tak... ambik bekal pas tu pusing & pergi.

pulak beramai2 mintak air panas untuk nak buat susu anak, segala air manis yang ada di tuang dalam botol2 susu. nie perkara normal ke untuk orang2 dari Felda?? bukan tanya sinis, cukup ikhlas soalan win sebab kitaorg tak tau apa nak pikir??

bobo terangkan, kata diaorang nak memeriahkan keadaan. tapi bukan caranye macam nie. nak meriahkan keadaan tapi pada kita, majlis rasmi kami cacat... tak terlintas ke kat fikiran mereka?? siapa yang buat keputusan angkut orang beramai2 tu betul tak patut...

untuk win, dengar cerita pun macam tak percaya... macamana boleh jadik macam nie? kenapa orang2 nie takde segan silu, takde sopan santun. tak sedap hati nak lepaskan adik win pergi, utk kawin and pergi ke komuniti yang macam nie. iye lah, dia nak kawin budak lelaki tu, bukan mak dia ke, ayah dia ke... komuniti dia tapi... iisssshhh...

pas tu masuk bab hantaran & rupanye. punya kecik hati mak win bila tengok hantaran yang diaorang bawak. iya lah orang miskin tapi ada beza kan dari "spending for it and preparing for it??... preparing it to look presentable and nice does not require money. it doesn't take much right?? to present stuff nicely??... to not buy the small or smallest sized fruits & cake and stuff, to just wrap it up in paper. yes i know... it is just fruits and cake but that's just it!!!... it is just fruits and cake!!!... it doesn't cost but a few extra ringgit to have nice ones... is it too much of an effort for my sister.

it stings for i know my sister was racking her brain, saving & working, tying her stomach for the "hantaran"... and to get what she got as a return is so sad. and the bad thing is, she doesn't seem to mind... or maybe trying not to mind, i dunno.

she kept on saying, "diaorang orang miskin, diaorang orang miskin"... so what thry are poor??... does it make what they did OK??

and then as my sister was trying to explain and give a reason behind every single unpleasant issue to me, she told me of something my mother did not. she said "& pasal cincin & (part of) duit hantaran tu, makcik X tak sempat. jadik dia ambik jek pinggan kat dapur..." what???... pinggan??... pinggan makan??... u have got to be kidding!!?? my eyes nearly came out of it's socket.

i told bobo... actually i don't really remember what i told her, half of the time, i was just babling and trying to contain myself. i was and still am sad... still very much disappointed...

don't get me wrong. we're not snobs... we know we're not rich people, we have our shortcomings. and we don't mind if our daughter/ sister is marring into a poor family... we sooooo don't mind. BUT we do mind common sense and common courtesy.

as of yet, just the future son-in-law said "minta maaf kalau ada terlebih & terkurang"... but not a single call to my mom from his mom saying whatever she should be saying. even if she's not behind the whole thing of the bus load of people & how badly they behaved, the least she could do is call... common courtesy...

and i feel bad because i made my sister feel bad when i called her. oh, i feel i am over reacting... but i do feel uneasy and quite worried. i feel like plucking my sister and putting her in a different place... i want to save her... i want to tell her 27 years old is not old, she doesn't have to marry the first guy that asks her. value herself enough to not just swallow everything... & ur not even married.

also, i want to tell her that when she does marry, she has to learn to draw the line, to know when enough is enough in helping to provide. to know when to stop giving to others and instead give to her. it is not ok to keep on saying "takpe"... "takpe"... "takpe"...

i am over reacting... the guy might well be nice and loving and caring and considerate towards my sister. my sister is not perfect i know, she has he flaws, she makes mistakes. i am telling myself that he is not a reflection of his family & his community... no... i am hoping he is not a reflection of them.

i am sooo worried...

(and sorry for the inconsistency in language... when i am flooded with emotions, i tend to abandon malay...)

Nice sunny day

Nice sunny day today with current temp. in the lower 40's. i feel cheerful enough to write a blog : )...

Eid was yesterday (Monday the 23rd) for us in Waterloo... we fasted for 30 days and friends in Peoria fasted for 29 days... not complaining really, what is a day or two of fasting. Just hoping muslim communities in the US could come to an agreement so all can fast and celebrate Eid on the same day. But it's an impossible request for this has always been the case year after year. No harm done... just that it would be nice.

Regardless what day Eid falls on, I didn't acknowlegde it much. Didn't dress up or make anything special for Chot. He had to make his own coffee and rummage for breakfast. He then went to the masjid for Eid prayer while I continued sleeping. He took half day off, going to work at 12 noon.

I heated up last night's soto for him for lunch. Pretty pathetic... i know. And adding to the pathetic-ness of the special day, I had him go pick up chinese food for Eid dinner.

He says he doesn't mind but it would be nice to make it somewhat stand out than regular days, a little special.

: )... to my defence. I was sick... actually we both were under the weather, with fever, runny nose and sore throat. I slept the whole day but chot had to press on and work, even came home late... close to 8 at night.

He even went to work for a few hours Eid-eve (any such word??... but u guys know what i mean). Such a trooper right?? If i were his boss, I'd give him a promotion!!!...

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Last weekend, we had guests. Anis called telling of their plan to come and visit. Luckily, I cleaned the house just for the heck of it days before. They arrived Friday night and Anis tried my attempt at making Mee Rebus. A bit hot but pretty decent i think, my cousin's recipe. Thank you Kak Teh for the recipe, I don't know and don't have "tepung attar"... what is it anyways??...

My friend lin went to JB and hanged out at this place where there's a famous Mee Rebus stall... propelling me to make my own because I missed it so much. She made me miss home too... bad lin!!!...

And the last day of fasting, I was inspired to make Soto. My mom always make Soto on the 2nd day of Eid. Although mine was much less in the degree of taste and is not complete. I was short of spices & other ingredients making it more of chicken soup and less of Soto. Nonetheless, my guests and my husband ate with no complains.

We snapped some pictures... they are primarily of Adam. I kept saying "aunty win tak tahan tengok adam!!!"... he is adorable with those cheeks and dimples and trying to outsmart the camera flash by squinting... over and over again.







They left for Peoria Sunday night and unfortunately had an accident. Anis called me close to midnight asking me to find the number for Honda roadside assistance. I asked if their car broke down, then Anis gave me quite a shock. She told me THEY HIT A DEER!!!

I didn't think I panicked but guess i did. I went straight to wake chot up and made him literally jumped up in bed. He asked me the details... but was a bit "kelam- kabut" and said i don't know shit, didn't ask Anis anything.

I got the full story from Anis yesterday. I wanted to call her and ask how things were but 1) i didn't want to bother... it being Eid and her having to make arrangements for the car, and 2) i was so groggy from all the drugs i took.

Anis reported that they were fine. No one was hurt (even the deer continued it's journey into the forest). Anis said the dear was big, it's back was higher than front of their Honda Element... Now, that's huge... no wonder their front hood was literally smacked open and still the deer was able to walk away... disappearing into the night.

Most importantly, and thank to Allah, no one was hurt... just the Element Anis bought brand new. Owch...

(Hehheh, Anis said the policeman told them it's the deer's mating season... damn horny deers : O... )

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

Selamat Hari Raya, minta maaf mana yang silap.

Raya kat tempat orang tak sedap langsung. Setakat nie, takde rasa nak beraya, malap & mendung macam cuaca kat luar.

Adik win pernah hantar kaset raya, masih dalam sampul plastiknye. Takut nak pasang sebab nanti sedih.

Nanti cerita2 lagi... bila duduk lama2 dalam bilik computer nie, jari2 jadi biru. Cuaca dah sejuk, dah turun salji dah pun sekali. Rumah tua nie banyak masalahnye, banyak lubang dan segala macam kekurangan. Harga gas makin lama makin tinggi, naik cepat, turun lambat.

So, Selamat Hari Raya, bawak kereta baik2, biar bawak lambat tapi selamat sampai destinasi. Dan jauhkan kereta anda dari pemandu2 gila. Jangan main mercun, meriam buluh, meriam bola, paip, tin & seangkatan dengannye. Jangan jual mercun, nanti polis tangkap.

good morning!

there must be a rule somewhere, not letting me put up new pictures in older posts. i wanted to put these pictures... one, of Harris' uniquely angled almond shaped eyes & a picture of my dad in my post about him.

i CAN however post the pics in a new entry & that's what i will do.


the picture of my dad was taken on my sister yohaniz's wedding Dec, 2005. chot & i haven't seen our family for ages and rarely get pictures from home. so on the times that we do, we're always taken aback at images of our aging folks.

but it's funny though... coz even with these pictures of our gray haired moms & dads, the images that's forever planted in our minds are of a younger them, those times when we were still living in malaysia, when we spend time with them the most.
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i want to tell a story about my dad and his thick moustache.

chot is a pretty chatty person u see, very friendly, very social. so when he was to meet my dad for the first time, i was confident he will be able to strike a conversation, win my dad's heart... that sort of thing.

but to my surprise, chot went dead quiet. the initial hello... yes, but then he just sat there... silent. with occasional awkward grins, he was like a timid little mouse.

he later told me of that first encounter. of my dad and his thick moustache. coupled with the fact of him being a seasoned policeman made chot very2 uneasy... and a little afraid. my dad is also not a talker... doesn't help... pity chot.

in actuality, abah is quite a nice man.

masin mulut ku

baru jek cakap... walaupun kita pemandu yang bagus, tapi kadang2 ada la pulak orang b.o.d.o.h kasi kita susah.

abah win seorang pemandu yang bagus. selama hidup dia cuma sekali dia silap & terlanggar budak sekolah yang tengah lintas jalan. budak tu ok sebab abah sempat elak sebanyak yang mungkin. tapi rasanye dia trauma sampai sekarang. 2 kali yang lain, orang lain salah.

semalam, abah win tengah elok2 duduk dalam kereta kat tempat letak kereta surau. sementara tunggu mak habis tadarus, dia baring sat. datang lori tong gas langgar kereta kancil yang baru umurnye 10 bulan. abah win alhamdulillah selamat, alhamdulillah!!! syukurnye kepada Allah. cuma luka kat ibu jari kaki terkena kaca. abah tak terkejut & terkedu dari cerita mak, alhamdulillah sebab jantung dia tu dah tak kuat.

yang buat darah win menggelegak sangat2, orang yang bawak lori tu TAKDE LESEN.

mak cerita kat win man-man & ada lawak jenaka. taknak win melenting atau terkejut (rasanye la). iye la kut, dah win kata SAMAN, SAMAN, SAMAN. dia kata tuan punya lori tu baik orangnye. dia takde kat kedai & cuma tinggal isteri dia yang kecik molek. pekerja dia yang besar bagak degil & tak reti ikut kata. dia dah suruh hantar tong gas pakai motor tapi dia pi bawak lori.

tuan punya tu kata jugak yang ada baiknye si pekerja dia tu terlanggar kereta abah sebab dia memang tengah nak cari cikgu mengaji untuk isteri & anak2 dia (mak win ajar mengaji). eemmm... tadi masa mak cerita bab yang nie, tak bunyi aneh, tapi sekarang bila win cerita balik... sungguh "twisted"... abah win tak perlu kena langgar untuk orang tu jumpa cikgu mengaji... tapi nak sedapkan cerita & kasi kesudahan yang bermakna, boleh la...

takde buat aduan polis & mak kata dah selesai. kereta akan dihantar ke kedai & orang tu bayar semua... mak kata yang paling penting, abah ok. pasal kereta rosak atau kecuaian orang lain tu no.2... baiknye la mak abah ku.

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nie bukan kali pertama abah susah sebab kecuaian orang lain. sebelum episod yang nie, abah kena langgar jugak. pemuda cina mabuk, datang dari arah bertentangan masuk lorong abah... "head on collision". kereta adik win remuk habis, lemah lutut semua orang bila tengok keadaan kereta & membayangkan abah ada dalam kereta tu. tapi alhamdulillah abah takde apa2 cuma lebam2 & luka sikit.

mak cerita dia buat berlawak kat orang2 kat rumah. dia kata "abah terror la, dua kali accident tapi takde apa2... kebal...". tapi adik2 win tak gelak, tanya mak tak sayang abah ke? & suruh mak jangan kata macam tu.

dia cerita dia berlawak ngan abah & abah kata "kot kali ke 3 baru... dot... dot... dot...". mak cepat2 tarik balik & kata dia main2 jek. rasanye dia cuba nak ceriakan keadaan.

dan... takde kena mengena dengan masin mulut win, dah benda nak jadik. Tapi win berdoa yang Allah berikan abah perlindungan dari semua keburukan, juga untuk semua ahli keluarga win... dan juga untuk win & chot, perkenankanlah doa ku ya Allah, amin.

just call me lazy

i've been neglecting my blog... and replying emails... and most of my official housewife duties... so, what else is new huh?? : )...

some stories to tell today. spoiled my dream of a full month of fasting, not by choice of course. that's right folks, finally got my period after close to 10 months.

reporting (1) it is much2 less in the degree of pain, only needed minimal amount of pain medication. i am praying for bearable future episodes, if possible forever.

(2) lingering pain on my left side (the side with those 2 good sized cysts). it's 8 days since menses started but it's ok though, compare to the endo "rolling on the floor crying" period pain, i'll take this pain any day of the week.

(3) next will be the week long peeing on a stick to detect ovulation. of the many2 times i did this previously, maybe only 2 or 3 times did the stick said "yes"... i assumed i did the test wrong coz it is highly likely. but later realized, i may not be ovulating... reallyyyy... how hard is it to pee on a stick!!!...

to those who are grossed out reading the above, sorry ok...

soooo... i have so far only managed one day of fasting... "one", "1", "se", "satu"... "uno"... before my period started again, and wonder... will i be breaking last year's record...

moving on, did some painting in the kitchen and got paint on my hair. was quite tired and easily lost patience trying to remove it bit by bit. so naturally, i took out a pair of scissors and snip, snip, snip them away. my new Raya hair, with one side longer then the other... like i care.

and since i am on the subject of hair, would like to report, chot got his first ever grey hair. a momentous event, befitting a picture taking session.

and not so great news. our friend audra got into an accident a couple of weeks back. she totaled her car and broke a leg and an arm at 3 places. is now resting at home and missing her fasting just like me. but really, on a serious note people, take every precaution in driving as to always reach your destination in one piece. but u know, sometimes as careful of a driver u are, there are those menace coming out of nowhere.

Ika at the hospital... she's so smart and funny. i was demonstrating to her how she should take a forceful bite out of the plum. she mimicked me... really, i don't think i made that forceful of an expression : D...

and Harris's first birthday party will be this weekend. Mus reported yesterday that the boy has gotten his "L" walking license. i love his eyes... have a close up pic of them somewhere, will show it later (bila la tu ekk??). i will make "pulut serimuka" to try out a tip i got off a friend's website and maybe scrapping the "kek lapis asam manis" for "roti inti kaya"... made some a few days back and loved them for turning out good.

most favorite picture from the camping. i think it makes me look like i have purfick skin : )...

got to go now... have the new Ikea catalog to study ; )... muaahahaha