itching to blog

i've been wanting to write stuff but due to poor time management & a flurry of activities, only manage to do so now.

OMAHA

it was such a great trip. i met kak ellie after so long & spend lots of time laughing & talking. we've haven't talked much even when she moved to the states but upon seeing her, it felt just like old times.

me and bai always crash at ellie's apartment in KL. and when bai "bertenet" with niza, ellie & i would often go do stuff together... maybe she felt sorry for me : )...

she's very sisterly, she's like a big sister i never had. a SAVIOR too, my knight-ess in shining armor : ) coz one time, she saved me from a pervert. this perv didn't want to let me go, pulling me up to his apartment. after ellie threatened him, he send me back down.

i didn't expect ellie could or would be physically forceful too... coz as soon as the guy got close enough to her, she punched him in the stomach, yup... she did. and as we drove away, i realized how weak and stupid and defenseless i am/ was and how very glad i am to have ellie there... i could have been victimized... the horror.

that was old times, she's happy... happier now in Omaha, with a kind husband and the darnest, smiliest cute cute baby boy. my weekend with her was spend eating lots and lots of food. she not only prepared every single meal but made desserts and snacks too.

i was sooo happy i got my "perut masak lemak cili padi" and my "nasi lemak sambal kerang" and enjoyed other stuff i didn't think of requesting. chot & i were like big happy piggies coz we rarely eat that much food. and because malay food is so rich in fat & oil & cholesterol, chot joked that he felt his life was shortened by 5 years being in Omaha for 2 days. but that didn't stop us from eating more of ellie's stuff in waterloo coz she packed us leftovers.

i took some pictures click here for pics of food and of jeffrey and us having a good time.

on our drive back, we passed a truck hauling lifestock... i took a picture.


ABNORMAL CELLS

wednesday Feb. 14, chot and i went to see my OB-gyn. remember i wrote about them finding abnormal cells from my pap smear?? well, my doctor took a closer look that day & plotted where the cells are... she said to the nurse "cells are at 3 o'clock, 6 o'clock... 9... 12 o'clock" and i thought to myself "that's like everywhere!!!". i went in kindda hoping the bad cells had miraculously dissapeared on their own... nope... no such luck.

she said that my abnormal cells are high grade ones. and left untreated most likely will progress into cancer. but since i'm pregnant, she can't treat me and any kind of treatment will have be be schedule 6 weeks after delivery. what is left is for us to monitor the progression and i will have to have a pap smear every 3 months.

the doctor said there is a chance the cell might go away on it's own after i give birth BUT she doesn't sound or look convincing.

and abnormal cells takes a few years to turn cancerous and since we detected them early, there's not much concern. BUT since i missed doing my pap smear last year, i wonder how long those cells have been festering inside of me and how long i have left before they turn really2 bad... aahhhh... the uncertainty... think positive win, think positive...

sigh... there's really nothing i can do about it, i'm not that worried. just hoping it'll be under control until i can have them zapped away with lasers... think positive... think positive...

GIVING ADVISE TO ALL LADIES THAT ARE READING THIS, GO DO YOUR PAP SMEAR EVERY YEAR... EVERY YEAR... better to detect & treat early before things get nasty.

MALAYSIA

if u get to reading this far into my looonngg post, you'll find out that i am heading for family time in malaysia. see, on our way to Omaha, i related to chot of me writing my birthday post for my sister & how I missed lots of important family stuff. how i kindda really feel i want to go home. so, we agreed we'd ask the doctor next time we see her, if it's ok for me to travel and all.

evidently the doctor said OK coz I AM leaving for malaysia on the 26th. actually, by the time we asked her, my urge to go home was not at all strong. even when she said yes, i was very iffy. so iffy in fact that i lost sleep thinking about it and was giving myself a headache and making myself more confuse.

little that i know, chot made it his mission. he called the travel agent as soon as we got home from the clinic. he said "i'm just looking around for a good price so when you do decide, i know what agent to call". but the next day at work, he went and bought the ticket. he knows and i know if it was left to me, i'll still be thinking and thinking and thinking.

SO, i will make it to Bobo, my 2nd sister's wedding March 10th. i'll get to see my parents and my other sisters and my little niece... my relatives... my friends. eat malaysian food & fulfill my dream of going to the "pasar malam".

i have a few more days left to pack & get stuff ready for chot. he'll be spending the 6 weeks apart by working like a dog. he needs to make up for the dent in our already tight expenditure from the purchase of my flight ticket & future spending in malaysia.

and trying not to be too useless in generating some spending money for myself, i plan to bring some handbags and wallets to sell in malaysia. i hope the stuff gets sold coz this little pregnant lady had the stuff hauled across oceans. anyone interested??... take a look here at the pictures of AUTHENTIC BRANDED HANDBAGS WITH REASONABLE PRICE. hehheh, i should try to advertise better huh??...

Happy Happy Birthday

we're leaving for Omaha this evening & i haven't finished packing. but i am a bit of a procrastinator so i do have to be true to my nature : )...

thank you for the birthday wish people.

i'm writing this especially for my sister yohaniz (we call her dedek) coz it's her birthday too. she's 30 today and i'm exactly a year older. although i don't think she reads my blog but what the hell, it doesn't hurt to put my thoughts down.

her & i were born on the same day, a year apart. such good timing i have to say for my mom to hit the same date 2 year in a row. what's the probability of that i wonder??

but the similarity ends there. we look different, have different hair type, different look... different, different different. and we hate each other's guts growing up... actually, it's more of her hating mine & i just returned the compliment. she's a clean & neat freak even when we were little. if i accidentally touched her she'll start huffing and puffing, saying "jangan la sentuh, kau tak mandi lagi"... or something like that. what a quack...

: D... so we sisters never grew to liking each other. and never got a chance to get to really spending quality sister time & do whatever sisters do. then we went to different boarding schools, different universities and all that. started work at different malaysian states. only seeing each other when i go back for long holidays. then i got married & moved to the states... how far away can i go right??... doesn't help getting close to siblings that's for sure.

i wasn't there when she got married (i wanted to go back but with all the medical bills i inccured, i just can't make myself). so i missed that, missed her delivery of her first daughter, husna. missed visiting her when she was unwell. see, she recently had to have her left ovary removed due to a cyst that was growing on it. the thing twisted a few times causing her ovary & cyst combo to die. when the doctor cut her up, the thing was already rotting...

and knowing i'll be missing a lot more by living so far away from home. shucks!!! suddenly felt like hopping on a plane for a visit... if only it was that easy.

anyways, as we got older, we just kindda mellowed... we try to email once in a while and i talk to her sometimes on the phone. she sends me pictures of husna.



anyways, happy birthday dek... hope to see you soon.

right, can't think of a title

it's 2 in the evening. been sitting in front of this computer since 9 am. my back is hurting from sitting too long but still, i am looking for something else to do that is computer related. that has been the case (ok, problem) lately.

my left side is hurting. it's the same pain i felt from my existing medical condition. maybe the cyst is trying to shrink, i dunno but the pain is at a level where i can't help but wince. hope it'll go away soon.

the pregnancy will be at 4 months this saturday, how time flies. my tummy is bigger and i have to stop describing it as a "buncit" coz it has cease to look like a big lunch. i pulled my sweater up to show chot my tummy and i guess it does look pregnant... coz the next thing he said was for me to please not scare him. my husband cringes at the sight of a pregnant belly. he sees one and think it's going to burst like a balloon. i'll report more on this as time progress.

i'll be 31 tomorrow. i'm ok with it (do i have a choice??) and don't feel like i need to sit down and reflect on my younger days : D... Last year was a different story all together, reaching three- zero was a bit of a doozy. i'd probably feel the same way when i get to four-zero, insyaallah.

we'd probably go out to a restaurant downtown. since we'll be driving to Omaha tomorrow, we'll have the birthday dinner today. that is if i don't change my mind... the weather is awfully cold nowadays and i just hate walking outside... torture!!!

and thank you for the well wishes from ezzel & redza. i don't think they read my blog apart from leaving their congratulatulations in the comment section. but if they do read this, thank again and no redza, sorry dude, no can do. maybe tuah or seri.

Bunch of pics

pictures are uploaded to my photo album. click the link on the left bottom part of the blog.

pictures are from Adam's Birthday party & farewell, Jept & family final days in Peoria and us sending them at the airport.

and i like this picture the most, for the oh so obvious reason of being the last picture of all 5. i make it sound like we're not going to meet up ever... maybe not ever, but sure going to be a long while.

Oh Harry, how you've grown

*WARNING* provoking pictures.



sorry then, by the time u see the warning sign, u've probably saw the pictures too... astagfirullah la banyak2 ye kawan2.



i was just doing my usual "wastetimeinthedaytime" reading news at yahoo and these pictures REALLY caught my eye. i don't think i can watch the next Harry Potter movie (or any harry potter movie for that matter) and not be reminded of how this boy has grown.