Wednesday, January 31, 2007

doodling

today, waking up suddenly i felt like sushi. it's weird... not that i felt like sushi but weird that for a small town like waterloo, we do have a japanese place.

usually a town's diversity is on a scale of the existance of (1) a chinese place (2) an indian place (3) thai place (4) everything else. the more diverse, the more (1), (2)... then comes (3) & (4). but for waterloo, we jumped a few steps!!!

that one and only japanese place is the expensive sit down kind... maybe they have a lunch special huh??... hmmm interesting. anyways, the sushi place we like is in chicago, if only we lived closer to a diverse town like chicago... i'd be going to bed happy.

and, i want to mention, i've been thinking a lot about my grandmother's "botok2" (not to be confused with "otak2". though "otak2" sounds pretty yummy too). "botok2" is a johor thing i think coz i've never seen it anywhere else. it's fish in "ulam" gravy wrapped in more "ulam2an" and all is wrapped in banana leaves, then steamed. hard to find "ulam" too. my grandmother had them growing in her yard but after she passed away, no one dug them out & grow them at their place.

i remembered when my mak yah wanted to make some "botok2", she had to go on an "ulam" expedition into villages... asking if she can pick some leaves of some bush.

anyways, on a happier note, my friend ellie in Omaha offered to make me some "nasi lemak sambal kerang" AND "perut masak lemak cili padi"... so we'll be going to Omaha soon insyaallah. my friend mus in peoria also offered to make me stuff, I'll keep that in mind : ). she makes very good noodle dishes... maybe mee rebus (she calls it mee kuah keledek or something)... yummy.

hmmm... and i thought i wanted to write a post on a few topics but it's 100?% on food. hungry... hungry... hippo...

Monday, January 29, 2007

hungryyyyy... want nasi lemak sambal kerang. i'd make some myself but i don't think i can stand frying the sambal, plus no kerang.

and i'm still thinking of my friend bai's mom's perut masak lemak cili padi. and paku pakis masak lemak...

nothing of my mom's yet... oh, oh... my dad's maggi goreng.

Friday, January 26, 2007

tired & out of breath

been wanting to blog but after getting into town a couple of days ago, i have no energy to spare. even chot took a sick day... but unfortunately for him, his sick day involved removing snow from our long driveway.

jept, anis & adam are safely back in malaysia. jept will have an intense 3 weeks to enjoy home before starting work in Australia. before they left, chot helped them clear out their apartment. i tagged along, trying to keep adam out of trouble while anis did what she needed to do.

we left for chicago monday & had a wonderful dinner at an iranian restaurant downtown chicago. the food was so good, the company was even better. the next morning, we headed to O'hare early2 in the morning. we were in the morning rush but people on the roads were courteous enough.

chot commented "unlike a sale, they must not like going to work... they are all taking it easy". : ) as oppose to a certain "after thanksgiving sale" where people were sooo nasty.

anyways, we were at the airport until 10 am... we took pictures and said our goodbyes. hugs and pats on the back... but no crying. i bet if the goodbye session was a bit longer, we would see tears.

and then they went through the security check & that was it. walking back to the car was weird though, my legs & chest were a bit heavy... like "it finally happened, the end of all the fun times & good company with them". in the car, chot said "dah takde dah, dah takde kawan". i wonder when will we see them again...

++++

on a totally different note... i got two not so good phone calls from the ob-gyn office. on my last check up, they did tests and before we left, the doctor said "if you don't hear anything from us, that means test results came back ok". so my heart skipped a little when i got a call from them.

the nurse said there's abnormal cells from the pap smear. & the next time i come in, they'll do a colposcopy (i think that's what she said). basically, the doctor will look at me under a microscope, a closer look, more tests to see what kind of abnormal cells i have. i'm thinking it's no big deal, they didn't want to see me earlier, just to come in on the same date in february. i read on the internet, some kind of cells developed into cancer but if those are the cells i have, it won't happen in 2 to 3 years... that is if untreated. anyways, i'm trying not to worry.

and then the next day, i got another call from the nurse... "hi darwina, this is carrie..." and i went "oh, great...". the result of the urine test says i have bacteria in my pee & i need to take antibiotic... easy enough. i didn't get a call from them regarding my blood test, so i'm assuming that one went well...

and that's the news so far. my tummy wants food so i'll respond to comments after. oh, and also i have tons of pictures to upload...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

look what i got!!!

love you!!! a big thanks... no, a HUGE thank you to marina for thinking about me and sending a little care package of raya cookies. also thank you to Aida for having to bring these from malaysia (i assume) & mailing it to me from Sacramento.

you are such a dear, my dear... i feel so honored, warm and fuzzy inside & been smiling since yesterday. sad to say, even my own parents never sends me anything.

and at a time when i've been thinking about malaysian food (a lot... A LOT. ehem, even dreaming of going to the "pasar malam") & not being able to get my hands on any, came this ohhh soooo wonderfuuullll surprise.

thank you so much for being sooooo thoughtful to little ol' me. I will enjoy every single bite!!!...

++++

the story of us : )

we were roomies for quite a long time in MCC. but towards the end, we got into a bit of a bad period. we'd ingore & didn't speak to each other. and since i was always in our room, she had to roam around to avoid me, to the point of camping out at other rooms. it was definately worst for her. and for the likes of me, i can't remember what started the whole mess.

but we've said our sorries & am glad we're good friends again.

in MCC, she's the first one who told me about chot. and even showed me who the guy was (but it was dark though & i can't make out his face). apparently he had a bit of a reputation & marina, coming back to our room from her many gossip sessions was in disbelief when she found out i didn't know who this guy was. yeah... i don't get out much.

marina loves her music & she has drawers and drawers full of cassettes (yup!!!... we're from that era). everytime going to kuantan, she'd always has some cassette to get, the shop owner LOVES her. she very chatty & very bubbly & loves her lipsticks & her shoes : )... and would be constantly writing something on her apple. the handful of people there with an apple. she's very talented, she'd share poems she wrote, lovey ones, and funny ones, and angry ones. i was amazed since i can't write a poem to save my life : D...

the new marina is a new mother and doing very well in advancing herself, going her masters and all. and she has a lovely blog... do go and visit & say hi http://marinadelrey.blogspot.com/

Ika

i have these pictures of Ika that's just laying around... might as well share them. her hobbies are... playing under the sink, playing "masak2" and playing with her food. and looking adorable while doing all of it!!!...






Wednesday, January 17, 2007

We'll definately miss u

adam said "what??... we're moving??... AUSTRALIA??!!!"



and so the time is finally here to say our goodbyes. it sucks seeing friends move... suckier when they move to a different continent (australia is a continent right people??). we can't just get in the car & drive.

i know i'll miss adam... i'll miss his antics... how he stares at vitrually everyone & then smiles his smile. i'll miss his cheeks, his dimples and i'll most definately miss hugging that ohhh sooo firm body.

i'll miss anis & jept's company for sure. we had good times travelling, camping, talking. i'll miss their efficiency when we travel, they are a pillar of light & hope when we go camping. when we get together and talk, jept & chot would sometime start yapping about old times and old flames... but mostly of old times. and we'd talk about anything and everything.

but i do wish i'd spend more time with anis, we could probably talk about a million things but since i'm a bit slow at making conversations, it doesn't help. Though i noticed we have a thing in common like having problems calling people, i'm more severe in that department, i have to admit. maybe because we don't really like to talk nonsense.

++++

i knew jept at the same time i knew chot... around june or july 1998. they came to memphis for a friend's wedding. i took them around town and later chot & i became an item. jept & chot been good buddies since after SPM. and jept remembers fondly when they would go back to gombak & gobbled down my MIL's cooking. and they'd do what boys do... you know... video games : )... i know for a fact, chot will miss jept's company & i'm not wrong when i say vice versa.

i first met anis around december 2000. anis came to peoria & i was visiting from malaysia with chot's parents. anis & jept were just starting to know each other. but during that time, chot & i had a few issues & we were working stuff out so anis & i didn't get a chance to socialize. not until chot & i got married & i moved here.

++++

we will insyaallah send them at the chicago airport, chot wants to see. though i'm a bit apprehensive because i know i''ll be sad to a point of crying...

ahhem... ahhem... i may look tough but we ladies from my mother's side were born with the uncanny ability to shed tears at the slightest display of sadness (or happiness for that matter). we'd even cry watching critical tv drama moments. my father would wait until the scene was over and turn to see our faces... and then make jokes & laugh at how silly we looked... a family tradition.

and throughout the years, i did train myself to hold my emotions inside when faced with these moments... i'd be a bit chocked up inside but no tears.

sooo... i'll report on the outcome from the airport then later!!!...

here a a few pictures with them. we'll miss you guys most, most definately & have a good life in Australia...



ultrasound

so, i do have the software in the computer, just didn't know where to look for it. when chot got home last night & upon hearing me complain, he clicked the mouse here and there & voila!!!... a bit crooked. the second pic was my going, taking a picture of a picture with shaky hands.

and alhamdulillah, blogger lets me upload them.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

wind of change

it felt like ages!!!... been wanting to write and update the blog, been collecting and arranging stories in my head lately on stuff i want to share, taking pictures and all... but to no avail. at least until today!!! yeay!!!...

hopefully, today will be the beginning of sense & nonsense of daily blog writing, amin.

i kindda had an idea of stuff to write but as soon as i logged on to blogger, the lady from the Ob-gyn clinic called to reschedule my ultrasound... sending my into a state of mild frenzy.

++++

ultrasound?? why do i need an ultrasound??... weeeellllllllll, the thing is, i am a bit pregnant. about 12 weeks 3 days pregnant, alhamdulillah.

we found out 2 days before my period was suppose to come. Chot was talking about going to Orlando for december holidays. he hasn't been to Disney world & we were thinking might as well. since it is still the two of us, easier to explore every nook & cranny of the place.

so before we went & booked all stuff that needed booking, we wanted to make sure. I did the home pregnancy test to double check what i was sooooo sure i knew i wasn't... waiting for the "not pregnant" sign to appear. but boy, oh boy... i was sure in for a shock!!!...

so there i was, in shock, my heart beating quite fast and was starting to cry a bit. which is a bit funny because the next thing i did was to find chot and shoved the stick at him. it's funny because i had this surprise plan carefully thought out. i got this "congrats/ we're pregnant" card eons ago. the plan was to send him the card at work... buuutttt... it took me about 10 seconds to tell him the news, so my whole surprise plan went out the window.

the rest of the day that day, everytime i went into the bathroom, i would glance at the test result that was sitting pretty on the counter... checking if it might change to "not pregnant". mana la tau dok??? but it didn't... and when i actually missed my period, i went and did another test. and left the stick on the counter and did the same glance thing.

++++

future grandparents weren't as happy as we thought they might be or even convinced when we told them. my mom was like "oh ok, alhamdulillah, da da da, goodbye". maybe because it was still early in the morning when i called. and also maybe because she wasn't getting enough sleep on account of Husna, the first ever grandchild not wanting to sleep at night. (i'll tell about husna soon, and how she changed her parents, my parents and sisters' lifes, and how she's oh sooo cute)

and then there's chot's parents. they were insisting on us going to the doctors like... yesterday. not like we can... when i called the clinic, they schedule me to come in at 8 weeks. and even then, they didn't do any blood test or urine test... just said "congratulations" and asked a bunch of questions.

chot was getting a bit bothered at them, having to explain how accurate the home pregnancy tests are... 99.9% accurate. and how the test worked and this and that. but all they were asking "dah pi clinic??" and "bila nak pi clinic??"

++++

at 8 weeks, we went to the clinic. didn't see the doctor, just the nurse. but talking with friends, their experiences involved some form of testing. but none for me though, which was a bit of a bummer. i wanted them to confirm i was really, really pregnant. but i guess they did things differently in Iowa.

not until i related to her of pains i was having around the lower abdomen, where the cysts are located did she schedule an ultrasound.

i'm not gonna lie. i went into the utlrasound thinking about seeing the fetus more then seeing how the cysts were doing. my first question to the lady was "so?... can u see the baby??"... and that was the first thing she did for me. and i got a bonus, when we (chot was there too) heard the heart beat. IT WAS SOOOOO AMAZING!!!... it went "wooshooo, wooshoo, wooshoo" very fast. well, that confirms it!!!...

yesterday was the 12 week visit. i saw the doctor. a nice enough lady. my old doctor at the clicic moved so i got another one. they took my urine, my blood (god!!! 3 viles worth of blood) and she did a pap smear, checked my boobs... that kind of thing. and i'm wondering how far did she put her hands up my... oh you know where... coz i'm still cramping a bit.

and today, i have to go in again for an ultrasound. usually they don't do an ultrasound until the 20th week but they want to make sure since i have a history of abnormalities. and i kept on thinking of the cysts giving me pain when really, that might not be the case. what is most probably happening is the stretching of the endo scar.

++++

anywhoo... just came back from the clinic & ultrasound went well. since we can't see scars on an ultrasound, they can't really comment on the endo scar, unless there's blood in the scar... which i have one of. that cyst and another cyst (the called it a simple cyst) are getting smaller in size.

and most importantly, baby looks good & as soon as the lady put the thing on my tummy, we saw the baby kick. i have ultrasound pictures and i feel stupid taking a picture of a picture but chot didn't installed software for me to scan & safe pics to the computer... so here it is...


rats!!!... nope, sorry... blogger won't let me upload pics. do i need to change to the new & improve version in order to upload pics with ease??...

++++

anyways, most2 importantly i want to say, we are so very thankful to Allah for giving us this gift & we pray we get to keep this gift, to have and to love until our dying days. may we live long lives together & enjoy each other. may our child be healthy, and normal & smart. most importantly, soleh, praying for our souls when we are no more.

this has been a wonderful journey so far, and i feel somewhat in a dream and i catch myself touching my tummy to make sure if it's real... alhamdulillah, allahhuaakhbar.