wind of change

it felt like ages!!!... been wanting to write and update the blog, been collecting and arranging stories in my head lately on stuff i want to share, taking pictures and all... but to no avail. at least until today!!! yeay!!!...

hopefully, today will be the beginning of sense & nonsense of daily blog writing, amin.

i kindda had an idea of stuff to write but as soon as i logged on to blogger, the lady from the Ob-gyn clinic called to reschedule my ultrasound... sending my into a state of mild frenzy.

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ultrasound?? why do i need an ultrasound??... weeeellllllllll, the thing is, i am a bit pregnant. about 12 weeks 3 days pregnant, alhamdulillah.

we found out 2 days before my period was suppose to come. Chot was talking about going to Orlando for december holidays. he hasn't been to Disney world & we were thinking might as well. since it is still the two of us, easier to explore every nook & cranny of the place.

so before we went & booked all stuff that needed booking, we wanted to make sure. I did the home pregnancy test to double check what i was sooooo sure i knew i wasn't... waiting for the "not pregnant" sign to appear. but boy, oh boy... i was sure in for a shock!!!...

so there i was, in shock, my heart beating quite fast and was starting to cry a bit. which is a bit funny because the next thing i did was to find chot and shoved the stick at him. it's funny because i had this surprise plan carefully thought out. i got this "congrats/ we're pregnant" card eons ago. the plan was to send him the card at work... buuutttt... it took me about 10 seconds to tell him the news, so my whole surprise plan went out the window.

the rest of the day that day, everytime i went into the bathroom, i would glance at the test result that was sitting pretty on the counter... checking if it might change to "not pregnant". mana la tau dok??? but it didn't... and when i actually missed my period, i went and did another test. and left the stick on the counter and did the same glance thing.

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future grandparents weren't as happy as we thought they might be or even convinced when we told them. my mom was like "oh ok, alhamdulillah, da da da, goodbye". maybe because it was still early in the morning when i called. and also maybe because she wasn't getting enough sleep on account of Husna, the first ever grandchild not wanting to sleep at night. (i'll tell about husna soon, and how she changed her parents, my parents and sisters' lifes, and how she's oh sooo cute)

and then there's chot's parents. they were insisting on us going to the doctors like... yesterday. not like we can... when i called the clinic, they schedule me to come in at 8 weeks. and even then, they didn't do any blood test or urine test... just said "congratulations" and asked a bunch of questions.

chot was getting a bit bothered at them, having to explain how accurate the home pregnancy tests are... 99.9% accurate. and how the test worked and this and that. but all they were asking "dah pi clinic??" and "bila nak pi clinic??"

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at 8 weeks, we went to the clinic. didn't see the doctor, just the nurse. but talking with friends, their experiences involved some form of testing. but none for me though, which was a bit of a bummer. i wanted them to confirm i was really, really pregnant. but i guess they did things differently in Iowa.

not until i related to her of pains i was having around the lower abdomen, where the cysts are located did she schedule an ultrasound.

i'm not gonna lie. i went into the utlrasound thinking about seeing the fetus more then seeing how the cysts were doing. my first question to the lady was "so?... can u see the baby??"... and that was the first thing she did for me. and i got a bonus, when we (chot was there too) heard the heart beat. IT WAS SOOOOO AMAZING!!!... it went "wooshooo, wooshoo, wooshoo" very fast. well, that confirms it!!!...

yesterday was the 12 week visit. i saw the doctor. a nice enough lady. my old doctor at the clicic moved so i got another one. they took my urine, my blood (god!!! 3 viles worth of blood) and she did a pap smear, checked my boobs... that kind of thing. and i'm wondering how far did she put her hands up my... oh you know where... coz i'm still cramping a bit.

and today, i have to go in again for an ultrasound. usually they don't do an ultrasound until the 20th week but they want to make sure since i have a history of abnormalities. and i kept on thinking of the cysts giving me pain when really, that might not be the case. what is most probably happening is the stretching of the endo scar.

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anywhoo... just came back from the clinic & ultrasound went well. since we can't see scars on an ultrasound, they can't really comment on the endo scar, unless there's blood in the scar... which i have one of. that cyst and another cyst (the called it a simple cyst) are getting smaller in size.

and most importantly, baby looks good & as soon as the lady put the thing on my tummy, we saw the baby kick. i have ultrasound pictures and i feel stupid taking a picture of a picture but chot didn't installed software for me to scan & safe pics to the computer... so here it is...

rats!!!... nope, sorry... blogger won't let me upload pics. do i need to change to the new & improve version in order to upload pics with ease??...

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anyways, most2 importantly i want to say, we are so very thankful to Allah for giving us this gift & we pray we get to keep this gift, to have and to love until our dying days. may we live long lives together & enjoy each other. may our child be healthy, and normal & smart. most importantly, soleh, praying for our souls when we are no more.

this has been a wonderful journey so far, and i feel somewhat in a dream and i catch myself touching my tummy to make sure if it's real... alhamdulillah, allahhuaakhbar.