Salam De Kalb

so, here i am again, early2 in the morning blogging.

we're in De kalb for Midwest games... they're doing it at Northern Illinois University this year. My very first time in De Kalb and NIU but chot's been here eons ago to see a friend. he showed me the town and the downtown, and once went to the town's corn festival. if anyone is wondering, he said he wasn't here visiting a girlfriend... he said... hahaha. maybe i'll inquire in more details.

anyways, when midwest games comes along, he'll always lose to the temptation of playing soccer. and each year he goes, and each year he'll come back to me with aches and pains and SWEARS he will not do this again... but then he does... vicious cycle... vicious...

this year i'm tagging along, might as well travel when it's still the two of us. and after he's done with soccer... we'll make our usual round of chicago. with a van, i can buy big stuff at Ikea : )... yeah right... dream on lady!!!

anyways actually, really excited to see Ika & the other kiddies. I want to hear Ika say "toksey"... courtesy of audra's in-laws. will share pics later...

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update on chot + my tummy. he's much better than before... there's still worry on his part when the skin is all (in his words) "shiny". well, that the situation. and on the flipside, he's started talking about the next baby. wallau!!!... i'm having enxiety thinking about giving birth, how to raise one child proper and he's already planning out the second one.

ehek ehek, but we'll see, if god is willing. coz (1) with me having endomitriosis, it is wise to not wait to long, not wanting the endo to come back when i'm left errrr... idle. and (2) i'm not actually spring chicken anymore...

: )... speaking about spring chicken, there was a fellow teacher in gerik. she'd tell us her life story on more than one occasion... on getting married late. so to make up for time wasted, every year she'd produce one baby. she has a whole batallion of kiddies tailing her. and we can spot her grafitti car anywhere. when anyone one of us in the teacher's room says "guess who's pregnant??"... i can bet top dollars ALL of us were thinking it's this particular lady... pregnant again??!!!...

anyways, that's it for now. the motel's breakfast starts in 15 minutes... i need food!!!...

the story, morning glory

well, well, well... looks who's up at 4 in the morning...

i woke up to go the bathroom & couldn't fall back to sleep. maybe because tummy is a bit hungry (am having a soya bean drink) or maybe because the enxiety on not starting packing for memorial day weekend trip. that's most probably it... i've procrastinated too long... (and still, instead of packing, i'm blogging!!!)...

alhamdulillah, pregnancy is going well. although body is aching more, i guess it's normal with the extra weight i'm carrying. my back, my legs hurts the most. i know i should have started an exercise routine earlier to prepare my body for the extra strain but sitting on the couch feels much better. and baby is moving much more and it's more intense. she's kicking my bladder often... that hurts too.

i took some pics of me with tummy weeks ago. only recently took and putting up an actual "photo with tummy" for all to see. a friend asked if i took pics each month to track, u know... to track development. ammmm... that would be a "no". felt like not wanting to jinx it i guess. or maybe, not wanting to be too confident... all cocky & happy, acting like it's a done deal when baby is not a comfirm. ur sssoooo pessimistic win!!!... lighten up!!!...

so, why did i took a "photo with tummy" and sharing it with all??... hehheh, i'm not that heartless. besides, it's only one picture taking session and i would like to have some kind of "photo with tummy" to remember this time in my life.

what the ell am i babling about??... so anyways, here's ME with the classic side pose!!!... is her butt bigger than her belly??... wah yes... it is!!!...

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also sharing some pics of our new mode of transportation. it's not "new" per say since we traded in our used mitsubishi for a used honda odyssey (oddysey??... haiya... can't even spell it right). we were just talking about getting a van but it was just talk since chot knows he married a worrier (and i worry about money all the time) he didn't want to give me enxiety by pushing the matter. BUT, it is the next logical thing to do, plus, with the prospect of chot's parents coming and staying for 6 months, it will just be impossible to cram everyone in a car.

still, i was not too hot on the idea. my main concern was how we'll manage coz the goal here is to get out of debt, not create more of it. plus, having more people in the household and providing for them... and still having 2 morgages to pay... gosh, i'm having trouble breathing!!!

then it happened...one day, we drove pass the honda dealership and saw a quite cheap van and one thing led to another. chot proposed a patch up plan (basically, work more hours to pay for the van. i pity him really, he comes home tired and then head straight to the computer to do more work. damn, i'm useless.)

so, no denying it... we're officially in the minivan group. anyways, here's last pics with the car and last day of driving the mitsubishi to work for chot. the car has been good to us. and last pic is of the van...

Salam Waterloo 3

ok... pregnancy.

i'll be at 29 weeks this saturday... and will have +/- 3 more months to go. the due date is july 28. i've so far gained 24 lbs and weight 143 lbs. my tummy is bigger and instead of walking, i waddle like a penguin. mostly due to a tight and uncomfortable back. my tummy is out there and when i stand straight, i can't see my feet.

chot is sooooooo trying not to be uncomfortable with the current state of my tummy. he's still working on that coz i can still see some uneasiness in the way he acts around "it". he never just go and touch "it" willingly . on the rare occasions when he does, it seemed like he had to prepare himself before doing so. the act is a bit unnatural but at least he's trying.

when i ask if he want to feel the baby move, he'll give out his hand like "okey, here... where do i put it" and his hand will be a bit stiff. and like the baby knows too... she refuses to wiggle.

he does however at times, put his face close enough to "it" and says "assalamualiakum" and "hello bibi, wake up". he does make fun of himself at the fact that he's uneasy by pointing to my exposed tummy and saying stuff like "eeeeeee!!!... gross". well, that's chot for you.

and the biggest shocker was when he kissed "it". i was surprised when he did it the first time and even more surprised when he went and did it the second time.

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and on my end, it's funny coz half of the time, i forget that i'm pregnant. just 2 or 3 weeks ago someone asked "how far along are u??" and my mind was going "far along in what??"... only a couple of seconds later a light bulb lid up and i realized he was asking about my tummy. but i guess most ladies experienced the same thing, it's not like it's a constant conciousness... hehheh, then again what do i know.

but not to worry, i won't be some iron woman doing a triathlon. thanks to my body : )... coz it will tell me when it can't comply with what my mind wants it to do. and thanks to my baby too : ) kicking and squirming in there, reminding me of her existence.

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and of late, i'm beginning to have these enxieties. the "i can't escape now, now can i??" and, "what do i know about delivering a baby??" and, "why do i feel like impending doom is upon me??" kindda thing. basically, i'm getting the heebie jeebies. but i am trying to keep these enxieties under control coz i won't be doing myself any good wallowing in them.

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i was made a bit unsure by the number of people (and 2 midwives) telling me i look like i'm carrying a boy. but i'm going to stick with the ultrasound saying the baby is a girl. coz she did have her legs wide apart for all to see that day. i don't know when my next ultrasound will be or if there's any... but for now, we're having a girl.

and hopefully insyaallah, all will go well. i'd have chot snap a pic of me to put on the blog. insyaallah soon.

salam waterloo 2

so it's close to 4 in the morning. i missed my sleep time and now am wide awake. i'll wait for subuh and go to sleep after.

i'm trying to think what else was memorable and worth mentioning of my malaysian trip.

oh yes, i met up with anis and adam in kl. jept left for tasmania earlier but the two of them were still in malaysia. they flew in from penang & me from jb. it's worth mentioning that Airasia messed up my ticket, saying i had to buy a new one since the first purchase was canceled. and whatdayaknow?? they charge me twice. and even when they can see they charged me an extra ticket, they weren't helpful in returning the money. asked me to provide proof, to fax the info to them. oh, and trying to get in touch with took forever, put me on hold for ages.

back to meeting anis & adam. adam looked the same just slimmer and more energetic. just looking at anis trying to handle (and wrangle) him made me tired. plus, he was a bit sick so that didn't help his tempraments. he loves to pull people's hair, he always did but maybe more forcefully and persistant.

he tried grabbing mine and became frustrated when i didn't let him. proceeded to release his frustration by biting my arm. and when he couldn't get my flesh between his teeth, he went for my nose. oh boy!!! he bit down hard and for a moment there, i thought he took a chuck off. he didn't BUT it sure felt like it... the pain!!!

ok, sleeply now and it's time for subuh. i'll babble some more later. i still have my pregnancy to tell about.

Salam Waterloo

: )...

all is well... was intentionally not wanting to write a post. i guess there's soooo much to tell that i figured it'd be easier not telling them at all...

let see, trip & time in malaysia

i didn't enjoy the flight, i had pain in my back, siastica (or ciastica) pain they call it. it's something like pressure on a nerve.

i didn't enjoy being reminded of shortcomings of the institution that is "a family". being away from home for so long, i was a little off in my grasp of how eerrrmmm "unique" any (and my) family is and its members. and as quickly as i was thrown off balance with the situation, i quickly settled in... everything was familiar. every stinking little detail.

now, don't get the the wrong idea, i love my family dearly and since family consists of people and people are cooky and sometimes disappointing (right?? no one is perfect)... we don't have a choice but to just accept it... and them.

what the ell am i babbling about??... my point is, had good time with them and treasure the trip most definate. the experience was soooo "authentic".

i did enjoy spending time with my new niece. she's sooo cute even with all that baldness. her hair took so long to grow back after her mom and my dad shaved all her locks off. i am not prepared and will definately be freaked out the next time my sister sends me pics of husna with hair!!!

and husna has this serious expression she always gives us. she frowns a lot, her forehead all wrinkled up. she is so moody... just like her mom... even when she wants to pass wind she'd grumble. and such a light sleeper. and she thinks everyone that walks pass her is trying to play with her. which doesn't help when coupled with the light sleeper state because she'd wake up from sleep and in a few minutes, would start smiling.




i enjoyed spending time with my mom and misses her the most, the most-est... hehheh. bless her heart. she's a weeper and i take after her so at each point we had to part, even when i was only going to KL, she'd cry and then, i'd cry... i know, so sappy.

i did enjoy spending some quality time with my sister fatin. the last time i saw her, she was in that rebellious teenager stage. and now 19, she's a bit grown up. but she did get on my nerve with the constant texting (sms-ing). we'd share a room and at 3 in the morning, that damn phone would start buzzing. and the girl would actually get up and send a reply!!!...

and talking about texting, at the end of my stay, i was getting pretty good at it too. although i think my friend bai would beg to differ. she'd usually loses her patience waiting for my reply that she'd end up giving me a call.

i enjoyed meeting up with friends. this trip home, bai, neenie and apex put in the efford to meet up. bai came by to see me the most and apex offered her lovely home for a pot luck. and neenie send me off at the airport. lovely time, lovely friends. thanks u guys!!!

hhmmm... what else??...

oh, my sister's wedding. it went well for the most part. it could have been better but whose wedding is perfect??... unless ur dad is some big shot and could hire an army of people or like siti norhaliza, u have shah redza as a wedding planner (ehh, even then siti ended up wearing that power puff girl gown!!!)... back to my sister...

the most memorable and unbelievable incident, like the sooo unprofessional sound guy my parents hire. he forgot to come. and guess where he was with his family when my dad called from the wedding hall??... in Pangkor Island, frolicking in the sun.

and, the groom's mom not showing up. a bus did come (we did prepare ourselves this time : D) but since my sister's mom-in-law was a no show, the bus was only 1/3 full. probably the other 2/3 of people didn't see the point of coming when the groom's mom wasn't. i pity my new brother-in-law, he tried to explain his mom's absent as best as he can. like i said, families & their members... someone will spoil it at one point or another.


but all in all, the wedding went well. and it felt great being able to help out and participate. and, more pictures of my malaysian trip are at my photo album link.



ok then, i think i should continue my babbling some other time, chot is walking around in the kitchen, opening the fridge and stuff. and just now asked for tea. and he's so thoughtful, he took the initiative to boil water for me to make him tea : D...

and 15 minutes later, i'm still typing away, editing this post and he went and made his own drink!!!... : o... : D...