cannot sleep

i want to sleep but i can't. was sleepy but i guess not sleepy enough. chot wants me to send him to work so i can use the car to pusing2 around town. i think he has to drive himself to work coz i know i won't be able to wake up. usually if we go back to sleep after subuh prayer on days that i sleep late, i'll wake up close to noon... haiya... what can i say... the life of a full time housewife with no kids.

chot wants me to go out so i will not be bosan out of my mind. the last time i went out was monday and today is already friday. he's worried kot nanti wife dia go gila. i can go out and do a bit of grocery shopping i guess. Lin's cottage pie thing looks yummy. maybe i can get stuff and try the dish. i know i have that piping thingy to pipe the mash potatoes so dish tu lawa.

++++

hmmm... what can i write about??... SPM result is coming out monday right??... a student of mine from gerik email to share her fears of the impending doom... hehheh... i hope not for her sake and my sister fatin.

tapi alamak, sad to say fatin has never been ambitious, her regrets always come too late. she always realize her lack of hard work and wasting time with kawan2 yang takde masa depan only after bad UPSR result, after bad PMR result. and now SPM... i want to be hopeful but i can almost see all the B's and C's...

i remember after the UPSR result came out... she did quite bad, was crying and being utterly sad and dissapointed at herself. promised my mom she'd do better next time. but her realization wore off, she'd forgotten her promise.

PMR came and went and it was the same ol' thing...

fatin has this hangat2 tahi ayam thing going on and an abandonment of sorts, a classic trait. she'd be all into working hard and buying books and stuff but then it wore off... orang pi tuition, dia nak pi tuition tapi kalau malas dia tak pergi... or kalau kawan2 ajak pi jalan, she'd rather do that than anything else. also very moody and very angin.

a classic example of fatin... recently came home and wanted so badly to enroll in driving lessons. was hell bent on it... apparently one of her friends was learning and she's going with that friend to the sekolah memandu with or without my mom's consent.

so my mom signed her up... paid 1000+ ringgit for fatin to learn the car and the motorcycle. my mom figured it'll occupy my sister's time. but alas, it didn't last, when i called home, my mom reported,

"fatin tak pi kelas, cina tu datang tapi dia tak bangun tido lagi"...

"cina tu lambat sikit jek... fatin tak mau pi belajar kereta"... and all sorts of things that boils my blood.

my mom said she's ashamed at the chinese guy for having to put up with my sister's nonsense.

alahai adik ku fatin!!!...

dissapointed at her sometimes, worried for her, ALWAYS. she is my sister after all and i love her. Ya Allah berikan dia petunjuk dan kesedaran, murahkan rezekinya, amin.